Spoken like a true smartass...

The Letter Game

2009-01-22T01:39:00.002-06:00

My letter is "B", and it was assigned by Amanda R. and here we go:

Boys- I know, I know...this sounds ridiculous, but I do! I love them! I love men in uniform, chivalrous men, men of faith, funny men, and guys that smell downright yummy. Yay for cologne. :)

My Type

2008-12-07T07:41:00.001-06:00

The analysis indicates that the author of http://ekwisdom.blogspot.com is of the type:

ISFP - The Artists

The gentle and compassionate type. They are especially attuned their inner values and what other people need. They are not friends of many words and tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders. They tend to follow the path of least resistance and have to look out not to be taken advantage of. They often prefer working quietly, behind the scene as a part of a team. They tend to value their friends and family above what they do for a living.

My Secret

2008-12-05T12:38:00.001-06:00

I have a secret. My secret is I’m whole and in two different places. My secret is I feel alone but am surrounded by people. My secret is I feel like I am being forced to responsible for things I shouldn’t have to be, and the realization of that, makes me feel guilty.

I just returned home from a three week vacation…home. I love where I live now, I have been happy here and for seven years now I have called this place home. But I have to be honest when I say that Quincy will always be home. I think my heart belongs there. I cannot lie and say that I have not been toying with the idea of going back…for good. I feel loved there, appreciated there, whole there. I feel like I am loved for simply being me and not for what I can do for someone. I feel valued…and missed. I had such a hard time leaving there this time. Maybe because I spent so much more time there than I normally have been able too. Perhaps it was the added time that caused me to get reattached to the history, the grace, the comfort and normalcy of its limits. The familiarity of it brought such a sense of peace that I was almost shocked. I drove the streets, sat in the parks, watched the sun set over the water of the Mississippi. I smelled the sweet smell of soy beans in the air and felt the crisp fall breezes that tossed the leaves haphazardly. I sat and actually got to enjoy the company of my grandparents. I was hugged by people with such vigor, that I felt they didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to let go.

Some may read this and think, wow, her decision should be easy. It seems it should be, but it’s not. I know the saying goes, “you can never go home”. I know that if I moved back there, it wouldn’t be the same. Sure, people were excited to see me; they haven’t seen me in a year or better. But if I move there, I know life will go on. Will I be disappointed when it dawns on me that life goes on whether I am there or not? And will I be happy? Do I even know what would make me happy? I thought changing jobs would make me happy. It did, for awhile. I thought moving into my own apartment would. It did, for awhile. Going to school, getting a boyfriend. Again, only for awhile. Would a change of address really make any difference at all? Or…would it mean everything? It seems such a drastic and risky change to ultimately find out I wouldn’t be happy there either. I have to take into consideration that things will not be the same there. They just can’t be. That’s a part of life. And also that I will deeply miss a group of people here I have come to love as family. They have just as much value as the ones in Illinois. Eventually, I would long for them too. Perhaps moving would only postpone my feelings of loneliness, and redirect my sense of loss.

I think this is all just another example of why I need to learn to be happy where I am; to appreciate the blessings that are in my life and stop worrying so much. But how do I do that??? It’s easier said than done, but here goes nothing. I just want to be happy, for once.

To those of you had the supreme pleasure of seeing while I was home, thank you for being an irreplaceable part of my life. To those of you I got to come back to, thank you for being so, so worth it. I love you all.

The Things We Learn

2008-06-08T22:59:00.003-05:00

Per my usual I have waited an unbelievable amount of time between blogs. I would love to say this is my way of keeping you on your toes, but it's really just because a) I have been lazy, or b) I have had nothing worthwhile to say.

I had a really weird dream last night that caused me to think about some things. In this dream, I was on a roller coaster. As it started out on the track, I felt terrified. I remember feeling this overwhelming anxiety and panic. Every time it dipped, turned, flipped or jolted, I would feel my stomach rise into my throat. Then suddenly, out of no where, there was a man sitting next to me in the car. He was handsome, strong and a wonderfully comforting presence. Amazing enough, I did not have the same fear as before. The anxiety was gone, but I was still holding onto to the safety bar with bright, white knuckles. I looked at the man who had brought me such comfort, and suddenly realized he was covered in obscure tattoos. They were on his face, his arms, his chest... I asked him what they meant and as he began to describe them in vivid detail, I was shocked. Each one had a meaning of anger, sadness, hatred...he was judgemental, unable to trust others, and had deep seeded feelings of resentment. Suddenly, this person I felt so warmed by, so protected by, was nothing more than a shell of man. Next thing I knew, I was in the car alone. But this time, there was no anxiety. I felt myself letting go of the safety bar and raising slightly out of the seat during each dramatic drop. Instead of fearing the next curve, I knew exactly where they were and when they would occur. I felt confident that I could handle them on my own and anticipated them with excitement, rather than worry. I woke up...saying, "WTF?"

A feeling of loss followed me around all day. Like I missed this guy in my dream. But I was also haunted and enlightened with the feeling that I didn't need him. I may miss him, but I didn't need him. I was okay. I guess this dream must have stemmed from something in my life, as most of mine tend to. I have the WEIRDEST dreams. Those of you that know me well, know this about me.

Lately, I have had some encounters with people that have left me unsettled. I am a very trusting person and find myself often being disappointed by the character of people. This is my own problem, as I shouldn't come to expect people to behave in a certain manner, but it just seems that I am surrounded by people that I truly question whether I should even be around. I don't want to turn my back on people, because I care about them, but I feel lately that I'm hurting myself by continuing to expose myself to them. I won't go into any specific details here, but I have some very strong feelings against people who say things about the choices my friends make that have absolutely nothing to do with them. Their hypocritical, holier than thou attitude disgusts me. They truly do not understand the statement, "those who live in glass houses, should not throw stones." Seriously, what in the world gives you the right to judge them? Look at yourself, at your lifestyle, and then tell me honestly who the better person is. I dare you. My friends will win hands down. A good heart beats a great ability to quote scripture any day. God loves us all. As long as you welcome Him into your heart and ask for forgiveness, you are welcomed Home. So where do you get off assuming that MY friend, my wonderful, big hearted, would give you the shirt of his back friend, is a bad person and automatically going to Hell? On top of that, why are denominations so prevalent? Does it really matter if we're Methodist, Pentecostal, Episcopalian, Lutheran, Baptist...whatever? God is God. If you believe that the Pentecostal version of God doesn't love people who worship the Lutheran version of God, shouldn't you perhaps re-examine your definition of God? I believe in One God, One Prayer, One Church. (Oh lala, la la la...right Caitlin?! haha!) I am also extremely tired of being around people who openly cheat on their spouses by requesting things of me that they KNOW they won't get or the ones that believe having dirty, inappropriate conversations with other people isn't cheating because you have not had sex with them. Emotional cheating, is cheating. Why can't you take that energy home to your spouse? I bet your marriage would be a happier one. This coming from a single person, but it's just an observation.

Now that I am sure I have sufficiently pissed off a good chunk of people or at least given a topic they feel we should debate, I am going to sign off. G'nite all.

My Bucket List

2008-05-12T23:25:00.003-05:00

MORE BLOGGING! Woohoo!

I read on a friends blog that she has created a list of things she wants to do before she dies. So here is my list of things I'd like to do before I kick the bucket...it is, like me, a work in progress. (Yes, I stole the name from the movie.)

*Visit Italy
*Visit Ireland
*Make a difference in/save a life.
*Skydive
*Get one last tattoo
*Fall in love
*Become a mom (whether natural or adoption)
*Own my own home
*Be debt free
*See the Northern Lights
*Be an aunt (Come ON, Mike! Call her!!!)...you better name your first born after me.
*Get a college degree (I just want that stupid piece of paper.)
*Learn to shoot a gun
*Have a star named for me
*Get LOTS of testimonials for my website. haha! (That means lots of photography jobs.) :)

More to come...

Cancelled Due to Sunshine

2008-05-12T22:29:00.002-05:00

Here it is, 10:30 on a Monday night and I'm working. Blah! Tis my usual, but I still reserve the right to complain about it. I am woman, hear me roar. (Right, KC?)

Isn't life funny? Things are constantly changing around me, some things even in my own life, and for some reason I still feel stagnant. I fight so hard to move forward that I end up sinking back to my original location. This quick sand effect seems to be really taking a toll on me. Not only am I frustrated about my own life more than my usual, but I tend to find myself being jealous of things that wouldn't normally have affected me. People, I irritate myself! I hate feeling this way. I hate, more than anything, feeling like I'm not good enough. Take my job for example. I LOVE MY JOB. I love what I do and am blessed to do it. You have no idea what pride can come from doing what I do for a living. Don't get me wrong, there is a plethora of stupid people out there and all of them like to call me, but those stupid people are my job security. And somewhere, between all those ridiculous calls are the ones where you genuinely get to make a difference in a persons life. You get to bring comfort to a frightened child or reassurance to a person that feels nothing if not helpless. I love what I do. But sometimes I worry so much about doing every thing perfectly, that I end up making myself crazy. I work with 40 some odd officers and I assure you, there is no way in hell to make them all happy. One might like their information given back one way, but you have 15 others griping behind your back to their supervisor wondering "why in the world that girl does that". I know it's part of any job, there are just some people you can't make happy, but it's absolutely assenine that I feel this bad about people not liking something about me. Why can't I just accept that not everyone is going to like me all of the time? I already do that to myself enough, I don't need a second helping. I care so much about doing this job and doing it well. I want every man or woman on my shift to go home at the end of the night and I want them to go home with all of their limbs. I truly care for each one of them, some I even go so far as to call friends. Why is it then, that I am so unhappy? Now don't take this wrong. I work with some AMAZING people. There are some who would do anything for me if I asked; they're really great guys. It's just hard to please everyone. I blame this on my parents. haha! *here is where I lay on the couch, you listen, and I get an hourly rated bill... I had great parents; the best a kid could ask for. They never did anything to warrant me worrying so much. In fact, I think I got spanked once in my lifetime. But, I spent my childhood worrying ALL them time. I worried about getting hurt, getting sick, losing someone I love, getting in trouble, disappointing my parents...you name it, I worried. I remember having times when I literally felt physically ill and now, looking back, I think I may have been having panic attacks. I thought I was growing out of that, but at the ripe age of 26, NOPE! I still worry. I want desperately to be liked, loved and respected and am so hard on myself when I don't feel I'm being treated fairly. I'm not sure why I let it be my fault when someone else treats me unfairly, I'm just a mess! And a work in progress. :)

On top of the work frustrations, there is the housing situation. I have made the decision to move out of my apartment and rent the back of my mothers house. It is secluded, I have my own entrance, bathroom, etc...but it still feels like my mom's house. HUGE STEP BACKWARDS, in my most expert opinion. All of my friends tell me it's not a big deal, seeing as I am doing this to save money and not as a last resort. I had the option of whether or not to move, and I made my choice, but that still doesn't make me feel any better. I KNOW! I'm being ridiculous, but hey, this is my blog, and I wanted a whiney moment. :) However, on the bright side of things, this is going to save me a pretty substantial amount of moola and that, with the photography earnings, are going to help me get well on the way to financial security and home ownership! One can hope...

Well, I have decided that I am done venting for the moment. Pity party has been cancelled due to sunshine. :)

Have a great day everyone!
Love, Liz

Hello, strangers.

2008-04-20T07:25:00.004-05:00

Well hello there blogobuddies. I haven't written in SEVEN MONTHS! Can you believe it?! Well, I can. Life has been crazy these past few months and blogging hasn't been at the forefront of my to-do list. However, two friends of mine have just started their own blogs and I thought it would be a good reason to grab the reins again. Whether or not this sticks, is a completely different story.

Since last writing, I have decided to move, launched my photography website and made it off the probationary period at the police department.

The move decision was a long and hard one to come to. I HATE the idea of moving after I swore to myself I wouldn't do it again until I purchased a house. HOWEVER, as most of you know, especially the home owners, it's utterly ridiculous to pay as much as I do in rent if you're seriously trying to save for a house. I was paying more in rent, utilities and gas money to and from work, than I wanted to. Therefore, I have decided to give up my apartment and move. UGH! The money I will save is going to pay off student loans and other miscellaneous nonsense and to save money for a HOUSE! I refuse to wait to make my dreams and wants come true until I'm married. My future husband doesn't hold the keys to my house, he'll hold the keys to my heart. "I" will hold the keys to my house, Baby!! :) haha!

The photography website is up and running and I couldn't be happier!!! www.ekwphotography.com is the site and I invite you all to stop by and take a peek. Don't forget to send me a msg through the contact page and let me know what you think! I love feedback. It has been up for less than a month and I've already scheduled a wedding, two family sessions and a set of senior portraits. I am absolutely thrilled!

Probation at work is OVER! I am officially a full time employee. I have been working INSANE hours (way more than full time on some occasions!) but the probation period for new hires is a standard 18 months. We are currently hiring if anyone in the area is looking for a new career or is looking to transfer from a different department. We have our issues like an job and/or dysfunctional family, but the job itself is amazingly rewarding and I am blessed to have found a profession I am honored and proud to be in. Not many people get to say that in their lifetime. I look forward to everything else that life will have to offer, but for now, I am happy with where I am and where I'm going. Some don't see that, but to them I say, "I bite my thumb at thee!"

On the downer side of things, I had a friend pass away in December, a friend possibly (test results are pending) get diagnosed with cancer, a friend lose a baby and a personal heartbreak or two. But death and relationships, they are part of life. I miss Virgie dearly, but know she is sitting at a big desk in Heaven making greeting cards and sharing her cookies with whoever will lend an ear and Linda is in good hands with great doctors and lots of family near by. As for the heartbreaks, they are mild in comparison to the previous mentioned items. I should have seen them coming, but do we ever? One turned out to be the worst form of slime you could possibly imagine and the second is a liar and doesn't even seem to know it. Apparently, it's second nature. There have been other things here and there that have led me to wonder, "What in the world am I doing here...and why do I put up with these people?" but I know that things will smooth over. I hate to question the ones I love, but it's been so easy as of late.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE!! Two of my best friends are having a baby!!! Edwin and Caitlin who got married almost exactly 1 year ago are expecting their first baby! I have already been told I am officially "Aunt Liz" and I couldn't be happier for them. They are two incredibly deserving people and I know that baby "G" or baby "E" will have the best parents a baby could ask for.

I think that is all I will write for now, and well, I'll see ya in 7 months. :) Have a great day!

Lizzi

Friendships Remembered

2007-09-17T06:41:00.001-05:00

I was sitting here, filling the quiet night with my thoughts, and decided I would write a little. I was thinking how amazing it is that this year is almost over. And that I have been at my new job for almost a full year. It is just baffling to me that time has passed so quickly. I have made some wonderful friends at this job. I am truly blessed beyond words. That was one of my biggest fears in making the career change...what if this is a mistake? My worries couldn't have been more wrongly placed. In thinking of my new friends, I began to reminisce about the old ones.

The office I used to work for had a litter of kittens for adoption. I remember them being the cutest, fuzziest little balls of fur you've ever seen. If it wouldn't have lead me on the fast track to "Crazy Cat Lady Land" I'd totally have taken one home. However, a single gal, living alone with three cats in an apartment just screams ALONE FOREVER. Therefore, I let them find good homes with other people. In doing so, I called a client of ours that I knew was looking for a new pet. She immediately came over to visit. She had recently lost a beloved pet named Meg, and knew that if she adopted another, they could look nothing alike. Out of the bunch, she selected the one that was opposite in every way from her Meg. I carried the fuzzy, orange ball of fluff into an exam room so they could meet. Upon entering the room, the woman began to get weepy as she recalled the pet she had lost. "They become like oxygen in your environment, you know? Even when you're not thinking about it, they're there. Ever present." I left the room, thinking not of the kitten, but of the people I call friends. Throughout my life, I have been blessed with people I considered acquaintances, friends and best friends. Each one has been exactly as that client spoke of, like oxygen. Without questioning their presence, they were there. Friendships came as natural to me as breathing and I owe that completely to the people I chose to befriend. It is only natural that it should take time to learn about a person, but in each of these people, I immediately saw myself. That was a miracle all its own as I had been desperately searching for who I was. This leads me to believe that we are led towards each other and into each others lives, thanks to some much needed divine intervention. I received countless emails in the past that say people are brought into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime and I couldn't agree more. I could go down the list of people I have known through the years and each one has been a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold or merely a laugh waiting to burst forth. I am eternally grateful for each person as they have had a hand in shaping who I am, and where I am today.

I won't go into each person individually as it would more than likely bore the rest of you to tears. In addition, I have told most of these people already, sometimes on a daily basis, just how much I love and appreciate them. However, there is one person who I have neglected to thank. Through the years, I have felt it easier to ignore the past and look towards the future when it came to you. Every time I ventured down Memory Lane, it seems I always took a wrong turn at Regret Road. It wasn't that I ever regretted being your friend; it was that I regretted not being able to do more, to be stronger, and to be better. You say that I never gave up on you, but I felt that I had. I wanted so badly for you to be the person I knew you could be that I overlooked the person you were. In trying to help you be a better person, I saw the flaws in myself and was more angered than I could have ever imagined. I saw weakness when I thought I was strong. When I finally realized I was being silly, the time for apologies had passed. Your life was going in a different direction, as was mine, and I felt it easier to just let go. All the anger and hurt that was associated with you vanished within no time and the void was filled with wonder. I wondered if you were happy, if you were safe, if you were doing what you dreamed of doing. Five years have now passed and I continue to wonder. Things have changed a little this time around, however. When I wonder, I can simply "log on" and ask you, "Are you happy? Are you safe? Are your dreams coming true?" Since the day we reconnected, all these years later, I have done a lot of thinking. I can't articulate how wonderful it is to know the answers to these questions I have been bearing. It delights me to know that you are smiling behind the words you are typing. It creates within me a sense of peace I didn't know I needed. Although, this newfound peace wasn't without its own set of questions. Why, after all this time, have we found each other once again? Is there a reason that we have no anger between us? No contempt? No regrets? Yes. There is a reason. And I believe that reason is to shed light into a dark place within each other that shows us we have grown. We have come a long way from the days of awkwardness, teenage angst and juvenile fears. We have made it valiantly into the hands of adulthood where we can look forward without fear of what we once were. To you, I thank you for showing me that I really have come a long way. Thank you for loving the person I was and for being interested in the person I am now. I am glad, despite all things, that you were a part of my life. That chapter has ended, long ago, but life has an interesting way of doing flashbacks.

To this person, I believe you know who you are. If you're reading this and wondering, "Is she talking about me?" chances are I am. Friendship is a valuable, valuable gift that I believe is just like the woman said. We breathe each other in, we help each other grow, we create a world of constant comfort that can only be built by a friend. Friends are oxygen. To my new friends, know that I am so greatful to have met you and I look forward to many years of friendship and laughter.

Pure Hatred.

2007-08-21T03:45:00.000-05:00

I don't write much any more. That's a given. But tonight, I just had to let this little bit of me out there in the open, throw it into the cosmic void that is the internet, and set it free. I have such deep and unquenching sadness weighing on my heart at this moment, that I'm not really sure what to say. Tonight I learned of a 2 year old child that was raped, sodomized and severely beaten. Due to the confines of my job I cannot share the details, and believe me, you wouldn't want me to anyway. But please, say your prayers for this precious baby and her warriors, the county deputies, police officers and medical staff that are working in her name. Pray that she pulls through and that her attacker meets his judgement. I would also like to say that I am thoroughly impressed with the medical staff and law enforcement officers that didn't take the opportunity to murder him when they had the chance. I am not a vindictive person, but I can honestly say that I have hate in me right now that I'm not sure I would have been able to control if I had to be the one to contact him. Good thing for him, I sit behind a radio.

It just screamed BLOG ME.

2007-07-12T13:23:00.000-05:00

Nothing wild and crazy has occured since my last post. A little of this, a little of that, but truly, nothing that just screamed BLOG ME! A couple good dates gone bad, a few crazy 911 calls at work and a minor car accident. At one point, I would have run to the computer eager to blog about such things, but there really wasn't any way to talk about any of them without a) making the bad date feel bad about himself, b) breaking the confidentiality agreement of the job, or c) making someone feel bad about something they had no control over. So, I have kept to myself for the most part, sharing the vivid details of my life with those closest too me and not parading them about the internet. I used to LOVE to blog, but it just seems that I have begun to outgrow it. I never know quite what to say anymore. Words used to come so easily, but now, they seem strained and forced. Strange thing is, I really want to love this again. For the past two days I have been grasping for words to explain what I have been feeling lately, but there just haven't been any. I can't explain it to myself, let alone anyone else. I have the same typical yearnings that I always have, it just seems that they are more prevalent then ever. My best friend is having a baby and two more friends have recently given birth to their own little bundles of joy. On top of that, I am doing more photography. Wedding photography. Imagine what that does to a person who feels like the perpetual single maiden of the village. Both weddings were exponentially gorgeous and I am honored to have been the photographer, it's just that you are forced to focus on all the details of the happy couple and all that make them unique. The little looks, sweet kisses, gentle caresses...etc, etc. For the love of Pete!! I love it...but good grief.
As above stated, I have been doing a lot more photography as of late. The new job has opened many doors in that arena. I have many coworkers who have graduating seniors and little ones, so I have been honored and blessed with the task of being their in house photographer. I also have a couple repeat customers and did some prom pictures too. I'll put some examples at the bottom of this post so you can see what I have been up to. I have already been asked to do two more weddings, one in October and one TBA. I really do look forward to it. This hobby has become so much more to me. I genuinely love it and it brings me great joy. Many people have asked me if I want to make it a permanent career and to that I emphatically say, "No!" This is a fabulous hobby and I am truly blessed, but I love what I do for a career. I couldn't have asked for a better set of coworkers and friends and I love every aspect of my job. I never in a million years would have seen myself doing Emergency Communications, but it seems fitting now. In every way.
On a funnier note, let me share with you this past weekend. I went to Woodward, OK in order to shoot a wedding at Boiling Springs State Park. Let me begin by letting everyone know, do NOT waste a precious moment of life visiting Boiling Springs. It was a muddy pit. Really. I wish I had taken at least one photograph so that people would believe me when I describe just how truly disgusting this place was. Literally, the springs is a hole in ground that has been surrounded by concrete and a pavillion placed over it. It has seen better day's, I'm sure. The pillars are all but falling down from the rot and it smells of mold. There are dead birds and bugs all over the place and spider webs on everything! The pit is exactly that, a pit. There is approximately 12 inches from the rim of the pit to the actual water. The sides of the pit are slimy and green with moss and other goo. In the water, there are candy wrappers and various coins, which I'm assuming at one point were "wishes". And there, in the corner, barely visible, is the spring. An area of mud under the water that is rolling and bubbling...yes, as if "boiling". Hence the name, Boiling Springs. It was disgusting, smelly and not in the least big photographic. Thank goodness other areas of the park had creeks and rock stepways in order to take some decent pictures of the bride and her crew. As long as we weren't too close to the actual water during photos, they turned out okay. In the ones where it was visible I had to PhotoShop out the sludge. Despite the wicked smell, humidity that made you want to peel your own skin off and mosquitos the size of hummingbirds, it was a lovely event. :)
Let's see...what else? Oh! I was looking into buying a house. I have since chose to postpone this venture as finances need to be in a little better order before I take that leap. I went and looked at a couple and fell in love with them both. One was in dire need of some renovations but I could just picture all the things I would do to it. It had so much charm and potential I could almost scream. My mom even began makig plans in her head for all the things that could be done. However, the amount of money that would have been necessary would have sent me into financial coma. The second house cost more initially, but needed far less repairs. For that matter, it was move-in ready. However, it was a three bedroom house with two bedrooms and a two car garage. A little too much house for me. What would I do if I bought a house for a life I didn't have? All that space, and all those utility bills, for what? So, the dream has been postponed. I still, however, catch myself checking out for sale signs in neighbors and dreaming of what could be.
A woman at work loaned me a couple books and I must tell you about them. I recommend these to ALL WOMEN! Holy crap...this hilarity. I just can't even begin to explain. Look up the titles The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love and God Save the Sweet Potato Queens. Seriously, I can't even begin to tell you how badly I need some of their "Fat Mama's Knock You Naked Margarita's"! If there are any volunteers to help me sample a batch, you just let me know! Barbara (the woman who loaned me the books) has decided that we too, need to be queens of something. I couldn't agree more. We all need to be queens of something. On that note, I shall bring this to a close. Have a good day all!

Friendship Undefined

2007-04-08T21:21:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had a friend in your life that hadn't talked to in ages, but the moment something sparked a memory you had this renewed, deep appreciation for them?

I had that this past week.

This particular friend showed me compassion and hope in the face of uncertainty, faith in the presence of unnerving fear and a simple friendship that was truly anything but simple. There really aren't even words to explain what he has meant to me. Grateful just doesn't do it justice. In the past I would have been able to say what a "cool person" he was or how much he made me laugh, but as I have gotten older, emotions are so much different. Its harder now to explain just what he has meant to me, because in all honesty, I don't really know. Do I start with how I am reassured by his faith? How his passion for his career and educational goals made me re-examine my own? How is devotion to his family made me more thankful for my own? How he made me realize what it was I was looking for in a mate? Or should I just simply leave it at "he's a cool person and he could always make me laugh"? Either way I say it, I merely want him to know that he is beyond amazing. Any woman would be a fool to let him go and I can identify a couple by name. He is the chivalrous guy we all hope for but just happen to be two steps behind. Yup, he's that guy. :) The ungettable get. The one you'd bring home to mom. Thank you for being someone I am proud to call my friend and blessed to have in my life. You are one of the BEST friends this girl could ever ask for.

I Survived!

2007-04-08T09:45:00.000-05:00

I have officially made it out of training and I'm still alive! I can't say that my sanity is intact, but I can assure you that, yes, I am still alive. I work with some amazing people and they have all be nothing but encouraging. So here I am, an official Emergency Communications Specialist! YAY!

A Game of Ask & Seek

2007-04-04T00:03:00.000-05:00

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." -Luke 11:9

I haven’t written in forever. I haven’t much felt like it, but today I was inspired by such simple things that the day just screamed for a blog! The following things made me happy today. Freshly vacuumed carpet, a full tank of gas, sunshine, open windows with curtains billowing in the wind, a great song on the radio that just inspired a dance, Pilates, a hot shower with great smelling shampoo, lunch with a friend, a new book of stamps, clean sheets, hearing that I am missed, finally realizing that changing jobs was the best decision I could have made, the way the moon light cast its light on the water of the lake on the drive home. There are many more things, but I will leave a little to the imagination. Basically, I spent the day searching for things that made me smile. It has been so long since I have stopped to smell the proverbial roses. So here I go. A new day, a new blog. It has been what seems like an eternity since I have allowed myself a moment to sit and reflect. I have used the excuses “I am too tired” and “I have nothing worthwhile to say” a tad too often in the past few months. It’s quite strange how I have actually felt a difference since I haven’t been writing. It’s almost as if a piece of me has been missing. Perhaps it was simply that I wasn’t expressing myself in my usual way, or maybe more so that I haven’t been receiving the feedback of my loyal readers. :) There were a select group of you that I could always count on to read and comment. Sometimes it was to laugh and poke fun, but more often then not it was to offer encouragement and praise. I didn’t realize just how much I relished in that and came to rely on it, until I no longer had it. Isn’t that how life goes? We don’t know what we really need until we find it and we don’t know what we’re missing until it’s already passed us by. I think that perhaps my new found zeal for writing has come with it a new friend. His name is Bryan and he is an honest to goodness journalist. Not the “journalism major” I pretend to be, but the real McCoy. He enjoys what he does and it shows. I do this merely for the fun of it, and perhaps to feed my inner narcissist, but he has made his passion into his career. I know that I don’t want to be a journalist. That much I have learned from the new job! However, it doesn’t stop me from loving the art that only words can make. Ha-ha! Don’t I sound like a big fat nerd? I know, I know…YES!

I mentioned a few of the things that made me happy today, but allow me to share with you something that has made me happy in a way that can barely be expressed. My best friend is pregnant with her second child!! You have no idea how completely giddy this makes me. Her daughter is the most precious being I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Having that precious creature grace my life has been one of the highlights of many, many days. I love her more than I can even begin to express and would lay my life down for hers in a heartbeat, if not faster. You hear how new parents are fearful they won’t have enough love for their second child and I can understand what they must feel. How in the world am I going to love her baby brother or sister as much as I love her? These aren’t even my kids, but my God, I love them like family. Sometimes more. Ha-ha! I know that it’s silly to think our hearts are only big enough for a select few, but that doesn’t stop you from wondering. You want to love them each individually, but equally, when you know that it’s simply not feasible. *sigh* I can’t wait until the little bambino gets here! I am so excited to be “Aunt Dizzi” a second time around. Kristen, have I told you how happy I am for you? Because there simply just aren’t words to describe it. I love you from the bottom of my heart and can only hope and pray that your precious children will one day find someone that they can claim has been their favorite since even before they learned what the word friend meant.
Speaking of love, I have two weddings to attend this summer and I am so excited. One of them is the wedding of my two former roommates. They are dear, dear friends of mine and I couldn’t be more excited for them. I get to photograph their day and look forward to capturing each moment. Knowing Caitlin’s taste, it’s going to be perfection in its simplicity. She has such grace of style and Edwin has been instrumental in making each moment special too. I can’t wait to see what they come up with! The second wedding is in July and I am going just as the photographer. I am friends with one of the bridesmaids but have never met the bride before. It should be a fantastic experience! I look forward to it, but will admit it stresses me out. With Caitlin and Edwin’s wedding, I have no worries. I know them and their families and have a pretty good grasp of what they like and dislike. (Plus, my best friend Drew will be there as my sounding board!) With this other wedding however, I fear that I may not know what I’m getting myself into! Everything will be fine though. I’ve been studying up on different photography techniques and am researching some additional equipment I will be trying to purchase in the near future. I have also scheduled one set of headshots for mid-May (Drew!) which I am extremely excited about and a set of siblings that I will be photographing for a school dance. There is the prospect of another wedding, but it appears they may choose to elope instead. Ha-ha! I have also been asked by a guy at work to take some photographs of his daughters in their adorable flower girl dresses and another co-worker has asked for photos of her precious infant son. I am thrilled! I love taking pictures.
Work has been going great!! There was a stretch of time in there that I was seriously concerned I wasn’t cut out for the job, mostly based on my own insecurities, but I have persevered and am looking down the other side of the mountain. Saturday is my first shift out of training and I look forward to it. It is a hurdle I have been running towards (A little “Phoebe-ish” mind you, but running none-the-less.) for six months now. I work with some pretty damn amazing people and they have been nothing but encouraging and optimistic. From the beginning, they have all been telling me I was going to do just fine and that they had all the confidence in the world in me. I was listening, but until I believed in myself, their words were falling on deaf ears. Now, I can really appreciate all their words of encouragement because I know it is what has gotten me to the point I am at now. Without them I would have given up a long time ago. Thank you guys! You all are simply priceless.
Let’s see…what else have I pent up? Ha-ha! OH! I am planning a surprise 50th birthday party for my mom this June. I want it to be really special so if anyone has any cute ideas for decorations, food…anything…shoot it my way. I want it to be very classy but full of personal style! :) And no worries, mom isn’t all that computer savvy and the chances of her reading my blog are pretty much slim to none. Ha! My brother is coming down for the week to help get everything together and make the day really special for her too, so I am pretty pumped about that. I haven’t seen him in over a year and it has been even longer for Mom.
Well, I think I’m going to bring this one to a close. I think I have filled you in on everything I have held back for the past 6 months. :) Thank you to everyone who was mentioned in thsi blog post. You have all helped me to see that I am blessed beyond measure. I couldn't have asked for more. I hope that this finds everyone doing well. Love to all!
Liz

Captivating

2007-02-17T20:34:00.001-06:00

My mom bought me a new book last night as a belated Valentine's present and I must say, she did a good job. I had told her that Captivating by John & Staci Eldredge had been recommending to me by my friend Caitlin so she figured it was a must read. :) I started reading it this morning at like 8:30 and am already over 3/4 of the way through. haha! Once I get into something I like, I just can't seem to put it down. There are few passages that definately made me think and even a few more that brought me to tears. Not so much that I was sad, but more that I finally realized that I am not the only one who feels the way I do. For quite some time now, I felt that all the emotions within me were merely those of a hopeless romantic doomed to a life of "what if's?" when in reality, I share those same emotions with a plethora of other people. The things I hope for and desire aren't so outlandish, I just haven't been looking in the right place. Don't get me wrong!! I'm no floozie! haha! I haven't been doing that sort of searching, but I was diluting myself into believing I would find happiness in another person if only I could find him. I have known for quite some time that God is my Number One and finding my mate meant finding my Number Two, but it was so hard to push those thoughts of yearning aside and focus on myself and my relationship with God. After reading this book, I realize that I don't have to forgo romance and passion until my Number Two finally comes along, I just find romance and passion within my ever budding relationship with God. He romances me with beauty all the time, I just shield it from view. Who needs flowers on Valentine's Day when you have a sunset to watch? Right? Okay, okay...people, I'm trying here. :) haha! This is an incredible book and I highly recommend it to any man who wants to attempt to understand the inner workings of a womans heart or to any woman who feels they need a refresher course in seeing their own beauty. Someday, we will all figure out that we're each captivating.

My heart is lighter...

2007-01-31T18:32:00.000-06:00

After seeing this image, I have a new found faith in humanity. People are generally good and our hearts are usually in the right place, but this man has exceeded all my wildest expectations. I truly wish I could meet this man and let him know he has reinstated my faith in the human spirit. No matter what you think of this war, there is no way you can look at this picture and not think of him as a hero. If for nothing else, he scared off that little girls boogey man...if only for one night. That, is the mark of a true man in my book."Air Force Chief Master Sgt. John Gebhardt, of the 332^nd Expeditionary Medical Group at Balad, Iraq, cradles a young girl as they both sleep in the hospital. The girl’s entire family was executed by insurgents; the killers shot her in the head as well. The girl received treatment at the

military hospital in Balad, but cries and moans often. According to nurses at the facility, Gebhardt is the only one who can calm down the girl, so he has spent the last several nights holding her while they both sleep in a chair. "

Great Expectations

2007-01-26T08:47:00.000-06:00

I reread this after writing it and think it sounds totally retarded. But I sat here and wrote it and don't feel like rewriting it. So there! haha! Eh, maybe I'll redo it later when the cough medicine wears off.

Since October 16 I have been training at this new job and for the first month or so there wasn't anything I thought I couldn't learn. I was even told during my interview by one individual that I was intelligent, poised, and the most confident 24 year old they had ever met. So why is it that now, three months down the road, I can't seem to get it through my thick skull that I am intelligent? I am poised? I am confident? Why do I second guess every single solitary decision I make or task I take on? Then, this morning whilst watching last nights taped episode of Grey's Anatomy, (which was GREAT by the way) it hit me. I have Great Expectations. I have always been a perfectionist to some degree. I can't stand it when I don't do something right or I don't understand something 100% and it drives me to utter insanity when I think something I have done has upset someone or caused them to think less of me. Add to that the fact that there was never really anything I ever wanted to be in life aside from a wife and mother. Since those are two things that are virtually impossible to achieve on my own, I had to set my goals elsewhere. Now, I have this new goal of a job that I love and that I have a deep desire to do. A goal that I am not perfect at achieving. The first thing I have ever wanted this badly and I can't stop beating myself up over not doing it perfectly.

I am going to do this job. And damnit I am going to do it well if it kills me. I AM NOT PERFECT! And perfection is boring anyway. So here I ask you, my friends, if you find an extra minute in your day, could you send up an extra prayer or two. Pray that I find comfort in my imperfections as they show me I'm human and that I find peace with myself. It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay if every person I meet doesn't think I'm fantastic! I am the only one who has to believe that I am...and that's the only thing I truly have control over. Here's to letting go of the reins...who's with me??

Yada, yada, yada...

2007-01-18T09:26:00.001-06:00

Can you believe I used to be a blogging fool?! Now it seems that they are few and far between. I haven't felt that I have had much worth writing about these last few months, or at least nothing that would particularly interest the few that read this. I think most of it had to do with the fact that I was terribly unhappy at my previous job. I began to feel claustrophobic and stationary. I felt like my life had come to a screeching hault and I had no control over anything. I had moved into my own apartment and suddenly felt free...but alone at the exact same time. I missed the daily, sometimes hourly, interaction with people and had to find ways to entertain myself. I took another photography class which definately did the trick for awhile, but you can only heal a wound with a bandaid for so long. I took a step back and forced myself to look at the big picture. Why was it that I was so unhappy? I decided to make a change with the new career path. Yes, it has been stressful, but it has been an unbelievable shove into a direction I had no idea I was looking for. This life change also forced me to reexamine some relationships and friendships. I viewed them under a microscope and realized I was fooling myself into thinking other people were the answer to making me happy. It's not their fault. Yes, we grew apart, but it was simply because I was doing just that...growing. I value each person who had a hand in my life at that point, but the saying really is true, some people are only in our lives for a reason or a season. There's nothing wrong with saying, "I used to be friends with..." when you accept that things really do change. What seems like a bad thing, sometimes turns out to be an incredible, shadowed blessing.

I was asked at the beginning of this month if I had made any resolutions and I defiantly said no. I think they are a waste of time because people always set their expectations so high. Why do we do that to ourselves? Then, I got an email from my mom that I though deserved repeating. It said, "I think in terms of the days resolutions, not the years." I guess it really is a better idea to focus on 365 little hurdles than one, insurmountable one. Each day, I try to see myself as a valuable person. I find it so easy to see all the things about me that I don't like or all the things I think someone else won't like, but I can never seem to muster the confidence to say, "I'm worthy." Yes, I have unbelievable standards when it comes to guys and I value myself enough to know I deserve someone great, but I tend to always think that people are too good for me. Or with my job, I have had to have TWO pep-talks from different trainers where they have pleaded with me to have confidence in myself and know that I really am doing a good job. So, this year, my daily resolution is going to be convincing myself that I AM GOOD ENOUGH!

I know this post was completely random and most of you quit after the first sentence, but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. I always found blogging to be cathartic and I think it's an outlet I should take advantage of. So brace yourself! More randomness to come...I promise.

Have a good day all!

"What is your current dating situation...?"

2006-12-19T20:59:00.001-06:00

Today has been a good day. I woke up at a decent time after a good nights sleep, ate breakfast, watched a rerun of Home Improvement, did the dishes, straightened the living room...you know, the basics. I did some piddly things around the house before I took a shower and got ready for the day. I went to lunch with a dear, sweet lady who was/is a client at the place I used to work. We sat at the restaraunt for 3 hours just talking and it was really nice. I hadn't sat and had an uninteruppted conversation with another person in a loooong time. She told me if she ever had a daughter, she hoped she would have been like me. That was SO nice.

I then ran to the grocery store to buy some goodies for our work get together tomorrow night. I already purchased everything I needed last week, but I was so exhausted by the time I got off work and went to Wal-Mart, that I forgot about the groceries in my car and went in the house to bed. It was 75 degrees that day. Meat and cheese trays don't last in a locked car in 75 degree weather for eight hours. Oops. So I purchased more, putting myself into the "overdrawn" side of life. Damnit. On top of the fact that I was cringing the whole time I was writing the check, I was breaking out into hives for the mere act of being in Wal-Mart. To those of you that don't know/understand my hatred for Wal-Mart and all things that resemble a Wal-Mart cart...be thankful...be oh, so thankful. I left however, without having harmed one.single.solitary person. And actually, I left the store smiling. I'm not kidding! Me! Smiling at Wal-Mart. There was this sweet, round, black woman sitting outside the store with her Salvation Army bucket and bell...singing the most beautiful hymns. She put such a smile on my face. Had I not just written my way into debt...again...I would have given her all I had, and then some. She is the Christmas spirit people have been missing. (including myself)

After my grocery run, I went to the home of the kids I babysit for. I took them all a little gift and it was truly amazing how perfect each one was for each child. Their faces lit up brighter than their Christmas tree! Donnie (who is only 3 I might add) turned to me and said, "Do you have more for us, Liz?" I thought his mom was going to KILL HIM! haha! Or crawl behind the sofa and never come out. She was so embarassed! :) I found it hysterical, but know if it were my own kid I would have reacted the same way. I went back a few hours later to watch Donnie while his parents and sisters went to a gymnastics meet for Lauren, the oldest. He loves to play hide-n-seek until you've been hidden for approximately two seconds and he hasn't found you yet.
"Liz?...Liiiiiz?...LIIIIIZZZZZ????!!!! Where are you?!?! I need to tell you sumfin!!"

"I'm right here, D, it's okay."

"Oh, Liiiiiz...don't hide in that spot!"

haha! He's so cute. A little later he was playing with my cell phone; taking pictures of himself and singing into the memo recorder. I have a permanent recording of his three year old voice singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and "I love you Liz. A wholewholewhole lot and I want to play with you andreadwithyouandtakepicturesonyourphoneandloveyouforeverandever." His sentence got faster and faster, higher and higher pitched and more run together as he saw his time was running out. haha! Oh it just makes me smile! I love those kids!

But now we get to the reason I titled this here blog, "What is your current dating situation...?" I was standing in my kitchen, working on some holiday stuff when my phone rang. I picked it up and this sweet little voice says,
"Liz? Hi! It's Kayla!" (First off, for the record, I don't know a single person named Kayla.) "I'm calling from *insert name of cheesey dating service here* and you signed up for a free trip at the fair, remember?!"

"Yeah, sorry Kayla, but no...I don't remember." (Again, for the record, I don't even remember going to the FAIR, let alone signing up for anything.)

"Well that's okay, cause let me tell you about our service! We'll give you two free messages from great, safe singles when you subscribe to our service! Isn't that great?!"

"Um, sure." (And yes, she said "safe" singles. Like there's a dating service for just the scary ones!)

"So let me ask you this, Liz, what is your current dating situation like?" (This is where I begin laughing hysterically and the poor girl completely forgets her dialogue. Apparently she doesn't get laughed at all that often. I try to stop laughing, but it's just not working...)

"I'm sorry *giggle*, but to answer your question, *giggle* it's non-existant. I'm not sure *giggle* it can be revived."

"Oh, okay, thanks anyway."

**Click** I've lost Kayla. She didn't even make a feeble attempt at sacrificing her sales pitch. She heard the hopelessness in my voice. haha! Funny? Sure! Pathetic? You betcha!!

On that note, I'm going to go scrub my bathroom. Gotta love the single life!

Feeling a little...OMG!

2006-12-11T11:19:00.000-06:00

Feeling a little...OMG!
I'm feeling a little...OMG! at the moment. For those of you who aren't computer lingo literate, that means I'm freakin' the F**K out!

Okay, so not quite that bad, but yes, I'm a little panicky deep down inside. Last night on the way to work I started feeling quite short of breath. I chalked it up to the mocha drink I was consuming as it also felt like my heart was about to beat out of my chest. I drank a few sips and ended up giving the rest to a coworker. I figured a coronary on the 2nd week of work might not go over well. After about an hour and a half of what I would call "prenatal" breathing, I finally went home to grab my inhaler. When I couldn't find it, I decided I better stop at the ER on my way back to work and make sure everything was okay and to get a breathing treatment. I had 10 more hours on my shift and didn't want to be this out of breath the whole time. After being given the once over, the nurse on duty told me he thought I was having a subconscious anxiety attack. (Actually, he said a subconscious psychological manifestation of anxiety to be exact. haha!) I was 100% fit as a fiddle and was showing not a single symptom. They couldn't even venture to guess what tests to run since I appeared fine. They sent me on my way with instructions to "chill". I got to work and, of course, had nothing but that on my mind. Things went well for most of my shift until I had about two hours left. A small mistake and oversight on my part snowballed with more mistakes and my freaking out. I completely panicked and blanked on what I was to do next. It wasn't a huge deal as it was just running information for an officer, but the point is, it could have been huge. I felt like I had totally screwed up. I want nothing more than to do well at this job. I beat myself up over it for about 30 minutes and then attempted to take the advice of my trainer, "Shake it off and stomp on it." I'll share that story with you later; it's a goodin'. I still felt rather down as I left work this morning. I love everything about the job so far, it's just that I'm beginning to second guess myself a lot. I'm starting to wonder if I'm really doing well or if I have made a huge and terrible mistake. I know this is probably me just being emotional and menstral. (Hi, to all those who didn't want to know about my menstral cycle! haha!) I have only been in phase training for two weeks and still have two weeks to go in first phase. I have received two compliments from one of the Lieutenants which absolutely made my week. It's the little gestures of, "Good Job" that make you keep going. I completely anticipate an extension on training and that is just fine. I am told that if I take it as a compliment that they want me to succeed, which it is, as opposed to an insult like some in the past have, then I'll go much further. I'm also told that very few people every go all the way through phase without an extension. I know that things will be great and I am gathering more confidence as time rolls on. They're never going to throw me to the wolves if they don't think I'm ready, because those officers are their responsibility too. This weekend is all about studying!! And praying. :) Everyone send up your prayers for me...ask Him for guidance, strength and a raging sense of humor...please.

Love to all...Liz

Is there a locksmith in the house?!

2006-12-08T01:03:00.000-06:00

I have regrettedly not blogged about my lockout woes, but surely tonight...it's overdue. About a month ago I was having trouble getting into my front door. Ahem....my only door. So I called my GLORIOUS landlords (I apologize for the dripping sarcasm. Oh wait...no I don't.) They sent over a 'super' which I must say is a severly overdramatized title. 'SUPERman' told me there was nothing wrong with the lock, that my hinges were loose. (If I had a nickle...) After tightening my hinges and redrilling my lock (KEEP YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTER!!) he went on his merry way. A couple weeks later, my problems resurface.

It was a Saturday and I had been doing laundry at my mom's house. Let's first begin by recapping the scene up to the lockout incident. a)I slept at my mom's house the night before so I hadn't been home to shower. b)I was wearing my pajamas which due to it being laundry day consisted of snowflake flannel pants and a bright green "Cuban Soul Revival" t-shirt from Old Navy. c)In an attempt to leave my mothers house my car got stuck in a snow drift thanks to the blizzard that rolled through. After spending an hour and a half digging Dory out of the snow and mud, my previously GOREGOUS jammies were soiled from the feet to the knees. d)Three words- Lack Of Makeup

I drove home, looking and feeling frigid and utterly untouchable. I arrive home, hoping to scurry in the door before any neighbor could see me. I insert the key, wiggled its magical, imaginary combination of jiggles (not Giggles Cait, Jiggles) and nothing. The key does not budge. I yank on the door knob, slam my full body weight into the door itself, and nothing. Lucky for me there just so happens to be yet another 'SUPERman' across the parking lot. I flash him a brilliant no-makeup-haven't-showered-wearing-my-pjs smile and ask him kindly to open my door. He comes over with a huge ass pair of pliers and miraculously is able to open my door. He comes back about 30 minutes later and installs a new deadbolt. He hands me a shiny new key, which I assume means the problem is fixed. WRONG.

Five days later I am still having problems with my door. BUT, with my new work schedule throwing off my sleep schedule, I keep forgetting to call 'SUPERman' back.

This brings us to the present. I got off work at 11 o'clock this evening and drove home. I wanted nothing more than to get home where it was warm so I could curl up in bed and SLEEP. I inserted the key, once again wiggled its magical, imaginary combination of jiggles and...nothing. This time, the stupid key doesn't even PRETEND to want to turn. I'm getting increasingly pissed as I dial my moms phone number to tell her I'll be sleeping on her couch again. Just then, the hunky guy who lives upstairs happened to walk by. He overheard my pitiful plight as he was taking his shhhh...hideous....dog for a pee. He came back and offered to help. He attempted to unlock the door too. If it had opened, I was totally going to say, "Yeah, well, I loosened it for ya." Of course, Hunky was unable to get it either. Instead of leaving me there, Hunky went to get a pair of pliers and his cell phone. He tried to pry the door open and did nothing more but succeed in breaking my key off in the lock. Yeah, thanks Hunky. I coulda done that withoutcha. He was nice enough to call the emergency 'SUPERman' line and attempt to get someone to help me. He even admitted to them that he was a moron and broke my key. After two attempts to call and leaving messages I decide I'll just go to my moms and worry about this in the morning. Hunky offers to let me come up to his place (with shhh...his hideous dog, and his girlfriend) but I opted for mom's. OF COURSE, knowing my luck, as soon as I got all the way to mom's the manager of my apartment complex calls and tells me that no one can come let me in for another hour, minimum. I tell her not to worry, that I'll stay at my mothers. She calls me back 5 minutes later, "Can you be here in 30 minutes?" Well, hell. I bundle up and jaunt back across town only to sit in my car for 20 minutes...in the dark...in the cold. This SUCKED. Hunky came out to check on my every few minutes though, so that was nice. 'SUPERman' arrived and spent a good 30 minutes attempting to extract the broken key before he pulls out the crow bar and begins to dismantle my door. Okay, not dismantle, demolish. He shoves the crow bar in the door jam and then throws his body weight into my door repeatedly until the door frame literally splinters and bursts open. Now, I have a broken lock AND a broken door. Thaaaanks. He spends another 30 minutes or so screwing the splinters back together to fashion some semblance of a door. He installs a new lock and once again...hands me a new key. He promises to come by tomorrow to finish making the door "solid" but I have a feeling it'll end up looking about like my ceiling. In May, that was going to made "solid" too... Riiight.

But here I am, warm and cozy in my house...
with a large piece of furniture shoved in front of my door. Just in case.

What happens when the kids are let alone...

2006-12-07T10:14:00.000-06:00

I stayed the night at my mom's last night after we did some shopping and I didn't feel like driving home. I came home this morning around 9 and immediately regretted my decision to not come home and check on the cats. I should have known...

Photos!

2006-12-05T15:28:00.000-06:00

This is from our first snow storm of the winter season. It was literally a BLIZZARD. This photo is looking out my office window towards the road. This is a drift that reached the top of the air conditioner. Given, since there is no TOP, this is one of the broken air conditioners. I live in a great complex.

This is Fuji's, "Oh, shit. I am in SO much trouble." face. I caught him two thirds up the tree before I got this picture.

Hopefully you are able to see the TWO, I repeat, TWO felines in my Christmas tree. Fuji is on top and Kodak is diligently striving for the top...

Last but not least, this one was snapped just a few minutes ago. He had to recoup from his tiresome trec up what surely in his mind was Mt. Everest.

Goooooin' to the chapel...

2006-12-05T14:56:00.000-06:00

So I went to a wedding last weekend.
I caught the bouquet.
Run and hide boys, run and hide...

BabyLove Part2

2006-11-27T22:04:00.000-06:00

I received a comment on last nights blog from someone I have come to call a friend. A bloggo-buddy if you will. She told me, "Do not ever feel badly about being sentimental. We live in a world where people are becoming colder, distracted and self-involved more and more. We need more sentimentality. It's good to have feelings." And on that note, I share with you a little, bite sized package of hope. I held a 2 week old baby boy in my arms tonight. He cooed, he gurgled, he yawned. Precious is not even a word that could begin to describe baby Ephraim. The most precious part however, was that this seven pound bundle of pure heaven was passed from arm to arm in a room full of men. I watched as each heart melted, as each man smiled and as each baby coo was returned with an adult coo. My heart grew two sizes...

Holiday Humbug

2006-11-26T21:51:00.000-06:00

Do you ever wish there is something you could change about yourself?
I do.
And it's not what one would expect. Sure, I wish I were prettier, smarter, funnier, had super human strength and agility with laserbeamsandmadcrazypowersandwickedcoolcatlikereflexes!!! Sorry...got distracted...the thing I wish for today, is to be LESS SENTIMENTAL.
Everything about the holidays makes me weepy. I hate that my family is scattered to the four winds and that I don't have one single, solitary family tradition intact. I went to my Grandma's this weekend and it made me sad that there wasn't a single member of her family with her on Thanksgiving. She had dinner with her neighbors. Given, her neighbors are precious and just as good (if not better) than family, but that still didn't keep me from feeling sad. My Grandma is one of those amazing people that you know has more strength than you'll ever see. She has lived alone for almost ten years now and takes care of everything as if she'd done it all along. She volunteers at the hospital as an auxiallary member and takes care of everyone as if they were a part of her family. She quilts, bakes and is just all around one of those wonderful people. You can't help but love her. Not to mention, she's down right hilarious. This morning, she told me that just last week she went to the post office and went to put her keys in her pocket, only to realize she had put her pants on backwards. "Well, Liz...honey...I don't have a butt! The pants fit both ways." OMG...Grandma's are great. I sat with her on the sofa, looking through pictures of all of her great-grand babies and it made me so unbelievably sad to think that she may never see me walk down the aisle and she may never know my children. Not that I think she's going anywhere anytime soon, but the prospects are not looking too brilliant for me at the moment. :) And, I plan on going against the recent family grain and doing the marriage/baby thing in the correct order. So that led me onto another holiday custom of mine of being sad that I'll be alone on the holidays. I have my mom of course, but that doesn't help with whole marriage/baby venture. But I will tell you that my mom has met her landlords handyman and is trying to break things in her house just so she can have me come over and meet him. He's too young for me, but she doesn't care. "Liz! He's sweet, and polite, and smart, and polite, and handsome, and did I mention polite?"

It's pathetic how sad I get about these things. It's just the holiday humbugs getting me and this too shall pass.

G'nite all.

Overload!

2006-11-19T20:37:00.000-06:00

I am on an emotional overload this evening. I mean...for real. I feel this uber-necessary need to watch an intensely masculine movie just so I won't feel quite so damn GIRLIE! I spent this weekend with my best friend and her family, which is always a hoot. However, this particular weekend we went to a baby shower where two of the women were pregnant and there were approximately 50-bajillion small children. I LOVE kids but even I was a little overwhelmed. They were adorable though and there were more than a few times that my ovaries hurt. :) I want me some squishy babies! (That sounded kinda gross, eh? Mmmm...baby...the other white meat.) THEN! Post babyrama my friend and her hubby invited some friends over. There were three two year olds and a 8 month old. OMG! I was the only non-coupled individual in the house and was surrounded by four reasons I HATE being single. I was suddenly very aware of my singleness. BUT THAT'S OKAY! No need to feel sorry for myself, because I also know that my best friends husband FARTS ON HER MUFFINS and there are plenty of little marriage jewels I can live without. :) Love you BRENT! I also just sat here and watched an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and bawled like a flippin' baby. Not just a little teary mind you, I'm talkin' rollin'-down-the-cheeks-gotta-get-a-tissue tears. After that, I decided to check my email and realized I hadn't blogged in quite some time. Mid-blog, my uncle calls to let me know that my great aunt is dying and more than likely won't make it through the night. He also asked me if I was coming home for Thanksgiving. I wasn't sad originally because I got a great new job and was so unbelievably thankful. But now, it's a little harder when I stop and think of the things I'm missing. I miss going to my grandparents house for thanksgiving dinner in Watonga where we would watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and hunting specials on television. Ever since my granddad passed away, it hasn't been the same. It seems that everyone makes less effort to go home. I miss holiday's at my Illinois families house too. Holidays there were always such a big deal. House FULL of family, lots of great food, lots of laughs and usually a game of poker after dinner where Grandpa would give me all his pocket change. :) That's where I was last year at this time. Holidays are just different. This year, I will be in training for my job until 7am Thanksgiving morning and then I'll go home to my little apartment and sleep so I can be back to work at 11pm. I am NOT complaining. I am extravagantly greatful for this job and for all the opportunities it will bring. Chances are I wouldn't have been able to go home if I had worked at the former job either. It's just been an emotionally wearing weekend and it makes me long even more for family. I'm going to find a movie in my stash with Jean Claude or Rambo in it now. I need testosterone. NO CHICK FLICKS TONIGHT!

Miscellaneous

2006-11-09T18:44:00.000-06:00

I haven't written anything in what feels like forever. It's weird, how this actually becomes like an addiction, like I NEED to unleash myself this way. But for the past month or so, I haven't felt like writing. Basically, there were a lot of things I wanted to vent about, but I was censoring myself. Things I wanted to say made me feel like I was pointing the finger of blame at someone else and that made me feel rotten. Everything else I wanted to write about, just felt insignificant in comparison to the emotions I had going on inside. So, here is a list of things that made me smile or cry the past couple of months. Maybe listing them out this way will help me to release without unraveling.

*I babysat for a 3 year old boy last weekend. I watch him quite abit. He sat on the couch beside me, coloring his BEST pooh bear EVER and said, "Liz, you're my favorite person in the whole world. THE WHOLE WORLD!" (heart melting...insert here) Later, we played baseball outside and every time he got up to bat, he'd knock the invisible dirt of his shoes with the bat and say, "Let's see what you got!"

*I listened to a life being saved.

*I had my heart broken by someone I mistakenly thought was a friend. She took everything I ever said to her, twisted it, and turned it against me. She is probably the most caniving and two faced person I have ever met. I give her that rank because she was so good at it. She portrays herself as this loving, spiritual, caring individual, when really, she is hateful and I think she knows it.

*I was told I was beautiful by someone I HATED in high school. He did everything in his power to make me feel sub-human and now says he treated me badly because he had feelings for me.

*I sent an old friend a Happy Birthday message on their myspace...and they deleted it.

*I felt extreme jealousy for people I saw at lunch today. They were married. They were giggling and holding hands while laughing and playing with their baby daughter. I want that.

*I felt guilt this month. I have two friends who live miles away who needed me for various reasons, but I don't ever call anyone.

*I discovered that I hate Halloween. It appears it is merely a day devoted to bimbos and closet-bimbos who feel the need to embrace their inner tramp. Why does every costume have to be "naughty"? Naughty witch, naughty schoolgirl, naughty nurse, naughty-assemblylineinspector lady... Yeah, you get the picture.

*I took pictures at a 1 year olds b-day party last weekend. I have never seen so much red icing on one human body. Well...except for that one time... JUST KIDDING.

*I get to take couples photos this weekend as well as a wedding shower for a coworkers fiancee. Taking pictures makes me SO happy!

*Every day this week I have driven around in a police car and saw the good, the bad, and the ugly of the town I live in. It's amazing what you see when you really look...especially when you realize all the stuff you missed simply because you were too busy.

*I have heard the Hinder song "Lips of an angel" at least six times today. It is SO overplayed!! OMG.

*I embarassed myself at work yesterday. I laughed at myself because of it and may have scored brownie points. Apparently, they think I'm "pretty cool". Aside from the fact that I'm told I need "culture" because I can't name a single Merl Haggard song. BP will back me up when I say, "Sorry, but I'm in the SCHOOL OF ROCK!"

*I felt fear for the first time that this job is going to kick my ass. And surprisingly enough, it had nothing to do with any of the things I had prepared myself for. STUDY TIME!

*I called my best friend Kristen the other day and could hear her daughter in the background. I asked if I could say hi to her. This little, innocent, 2 year old voice gets on the phone. "Hiiii, my Dizzi!" My heart melted. :)

*The above mentioned best friend's hubby went hunting the other day and I was told they were preparing deer meat. "OH! He caught one?!" "Liz", she replied, "you don't catch them, you shoot them." DOH!

*I was asked by my boss yesterday how my day was going. I resonded with, "Delightful, thank you." "Delightful?" he asks with a grin. "I don't think I've EVER had an employee tell me they were 'delightful'." (I work with cops...if one of them said "delightful", i'd be worried.) Another employee walked up and asked him how he was doing. My boss responded, "Delightful, thank you." :) Spread joy where you can.

*I was greeted at the door of work this morning by an officer I saw as "surly". I politely asked him how he was and his answer? "Blessed. And you?"...."Delightful, thank you."

*My best friend Drew called me on Halloween to let me know he had ordered the pizza and had the movie all keyed up ready for me. We had a tradition from the time we were in the 8th grade that we would order pizza and watch Rocky Horror Picture Show (including ALL sing-alongs and dances, mind you). One year, we even ventured so far as to take his little sister trick-or-treating. I have never seen a child so scared in all my life. Candy bag...STRAIGHT in the air at the sight of a man in a vampire costume a block away. haha! We haven't been able to have our Halloween get together in about six years, but that never stops him from remembering. I love, love, love you DREW!

*Hurt feelings were brought back with an apology from an old friend, but it helped to smooth things over. Time heals all wounds.

I think that is enough for now. I have unloaded QUITE enough for one evening. I'm off to study work schtuff. G'nite all...and God Bless.

One Week Down

2006-10-23T22:24:00.000-05:00

So today was the first day of my second week at the new job. For those of you that didn't know...I got the job I was hoping for! I'm the newest emergency dispatcher in the Communications Unit of the PD. I'm official. I have a badge and everything! haha! Last week was INSANE, therefore I haven't called anyone or blogged anything. Oops. I have received a few "BLOG BLOG BLOG" messages so I thought I should appease the fans. :)

Week one was a lot of sitting around really. I sat through a few hours of NIMS training (National Incident Management Systems or something like that) and did a whole heck of a lot of orientation. This week is going to be full to the MAX. I will be learning APCO emergency procedures and other good stuff as well as going on an all day ride along with the FIRE BOYS!! Keep your minds out of the gutter...Ride ALONG, not Ride ON. :) The following day I get to go on a ride along with a police officer for most of the day and then follow that up with some HR meetings. Woohoo! Friday I am in a full day of CPR/First Aid classes and certification. I am told that I am not required to take self defense although I am thinking about it cause DAMN did it look fun!! I also asked when I get to learn to fire a weapon (totally joking!) and I'm told if I really want to they'll send me to the Sargeant in charge of Firearms Training and he'll get me into the firing range. How many of you are scared now?! I will be in intense training on all of the systems until the end of November and from there I'll be tested and evaluated before they unleash me on the unsuspecting public. Ha! I have to memorize a bagillion ten-codes as well as various jurisdictional areas and policies. I have a whole set of "codes" and "signals" as well as the phonetical alphabet to learn by the end of the week cause I'm being tested on that too! Sometime in this training I also have to learn the proper way to frisk a woman. That's riiiight. A woman. In case I am the only female on duty during the overnight shifts, I have to frisk any female prisoners that are brought in. The boys can't/won't do it. HAHA! Liz...The Detention Officer. Grr... If they weapons thing didn't scare you, that should.

Now, I shall be going to bed. I'm exhausted! But, I am less stressed now with the realization that I'm now in a life/death career, than I was when I worked for the vet. I can pay my bills now!!! I couldn't be happier with my decision. Obviously, only time will tell and there is a chance I will scream "HOLY CRAP" next week, but for now, life is good!!

Forgiveness

2006-10-09T21:51:00.000-05:00

Tonight I sat in my dark room, next to the open window and listened to the rain. Ping, ping, ping. Each drop hit the air conditioner unit with a resounding noise and as each one struck its mark, I found myself wishing I were as sure of my destination as the raindrops. I have been holding on to the same thoughts for five days now and haven't been able to let them go. As I sat by that window, I knew I had to set them free. How do I do that, you ask? The same way I express all my emotions, through words.

Each one of us holds a wealth of flaws. Most of them are fairly miniscule and we can hide them pretty well. Last Thursday, I had a magnifying glass thrust into my hands. The worst things I think of myself were shown to me and it was made very clear I wasn't doing a good job of hiding them. I am a good person who makes mistakes. I was made to feel small because of these mistakes. I was made to feel like I was less of a person or like I didn't deserve a second chance. As angered as I was at the person for saying such hateful things, I am also strangely grateful to them. They have brought it to my attention that I focus on the negative more often then not. However, all they truly succeeded in accomplishing was the exact thing they accused me of…making someone feel small. I guess I should explain myself a little better. I was told that I say things about people that would be taken as hurtful. I am ashamed of that, because I know it's true. Sometimes I think things are funny that maybe aren't. For instance, I love stories and tall tales and the more colorful the character, the better the story. Perhaps I am guilty of trying to make people laugh at the expense of their feelings. Perhaps I am what she said, a horrible person and friend. HOWEVER, I choose to believe that there were other things, aside from me, that were fueling her anger. Life creates in us a bottle of refuge. That bottle sometimes gets too full and we just…explode. The nearest target is usually the one to take the brunt of the damage. I know I'm not perfect, but I refuse to believe I am horrible. My flaws do not make me a monster. I forgive this person for the things she said, because I know in my heart she sees the same flaws in herself. The only thing that brings solace to the deep sorrow I feel over losing this friend, is that those who know me…really know me. The friends I have made over the years vary from the ones who merely bless us in their passing to those who are a constant in my life. I am blessed with a group of people who accept the fact that I am human and embrace me for me, flaws and all. I am told daily that I am loved and each day, without fail, I know that I have a true friend to turn to. Despite the errors I make in life, I also know that I am forgiven and that He too, knows I am merely human. To those I have wronged, I offer my deep regrets and apologies. To those who are simply spreading the lies, I pray that you have friends like I do that forgive you for imperfections.

Extreme Home Security

2006-09-24T20:09:00.000-05:00

Tonight I sat on my sofa, in my very own apartment, wrapped in a quilt made by my grandmother, sipping a cup of hot cocoa, watching television, with a kitty curled in my lap. (How's that for a great sentence?) I am blessed beyond words. To be honest, blessed doesn't even touch the feeling I have this evening. In addition to a recent conversation with one of my uncles, and a great blog post by a friend of mine, a program on tv gave me the biggest case of the warm fuzzies. I watched a program that I have grown to love because I find it to be the purest form of selflessness and love found on television. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is quite possible one of my favorite shows ever. It ranks right up there with re-runs of Full House and Grey's Anatomy. The reason I bring this up, is because as I was sitting here I couldn't help crying. I watched as a family of 14 lived in a home not much larger in square footage than the very apartment I inhabit. 900 square feet to be exact. I watched as these children (very poised and loving children) showed genuine gratitude and happiness for the gift of a dining room table. "Hey! Everyone sit down! Just because we can." It gives me hope to know that there are people out there who have the same high standards as I do for what humanity is, was, and can be again. The phone call I spoke of was my uncle calling to tell me he loved me. Out of the blue, just because, he called to tell me how proud he was of me. And the blog by the friend? She very eliquently told a story of deep appreciation for a dear friend and I couldn't have worded it better if I'd tried. I understand that appreciation and pure, unadulterated gratitude more than I could ever explain. (Speaking of that, YEAH, Drew! I'll see in like 5 days, buddy!!)

Someday, I truly hope that I have a significant impact on another person that even remotely rivals my uncle, my friends, and the "television show". I want to provide people with the same levels of hope and security that I have been granted. Only then, will I consider myself a truly successful person.

So Blessed

2006-09-21T22:10:00.000-05:00

I have never doubted the fact that I am blessed. Not once. Through dispair, anger, hurt, betrayal, boredom...I have always been able to see my blessings. There's a chance I did not understand their true value at the time, but I definatley saw them. As I sit here tonight, listening to a song that brings back a flood of memories, I wish to express my ever-growing gratitude to those of you who are forever by my side. To my loyal readers, even when I haven't been writing, you still check in daily to see if I have. I find that absolutely amazing. I'm rambling, I know. I guess it all stems from a letter a client wrote me today. She handed me a sealed envelope and asked me to read it when I got home. It almost brought me to tears. Here is this person, I see maybe once a month who says that I have touched her life in a profound way, just by being nice. Nice, you guys. She was so greatful just to have someone be nice to her. She is sick. Possibly gravely. She has such strength and an eternal optomism I envy. I sent her a card and told her she was in my prayers and that if she needed anything, even if it was just a trip to the grocery store, she could call me. That single, what I saw as simple, gesture meant more to her than she was able to put into words. The act of giving her my phone number, brought her to tears and moved her to write me this letter. Don't let the little random acts of kindness be forgotten. Say thank you. Let people know you appreciate them. And for goodness sake, let's pay it forward.

At the end of her letter she said, "How do I inspire you and how do find me amazing? I would really like to know. I was asked one time at a concert our band played, 'How would you like to be remembered?' I answered, 'I would like to be remember as making a positive difference in someones life.'"

I ask you to share with me a way that I may have affected your life, because I too, want to be remembered. And I ask that you take a second to tell someone else in your life how they have made a difference. You will surprise them and make their day, just as this woman made mine, and you will feel so refreshed for telling them. Go on...make their day!!

That's life

2006-09-19T22:01:00.000-05:00

Long time no see...
I haven't been in much of a blogging mood lately. Primarily because the things I really want to talk about, I can't! In due time... I don't want to a) reveal my dish until I know any details, b) jinx anything!

However, I am feeling rather blue this evening and I am having a very difficult time defining it. A relative of mine got married not too long ago, and it makes me sad that he doesn't really want any part of my life. There's a lot of history behind it all though, and I have to assume its what he feels is best. Either way, I wasn't invited to the wedding (no one in the family was, it's not just me) and it makes me sad because I have tried to keep in touch. I send Christmas cards, emails, messages, etc...with nothing in return. No recognition, whatsoever. We haven't seen each other since we were kids and we have missed all the milestones in each others lives to no fault of our own. But I thought, hey, we're adults. Let's fix this. I figured we could start over and make things a little different, but I guess I was mistaken. It just makes me sad that there's no emotion reciprocated. It could very well be that he's a guy...a guy in MY family. (Obliviousness, if that's even a world, tends to run through the male genes in this family.) Maybe he just doesn't get it?

Oh well...se la vie?

Bubble Wrap!

2006-09-11T11:58:00.000-05:00

And you crazy people thought life couldn't get any better!!!
http://www.saab-stuff.com/pop.swf

Photos!

2006-08-30T00:34:00.000-05:00

Take THAT!

2006-08-25T22:49:00.000-05:00

TickleTest: Inkblot

2006-08-16T23:18:00.000-05:00

By having your unconscious mind driven most by Imagination, it appears that you have a real creative streak that allows you to entertain a broad spectrum of ideas. By being open-minded and willing to consider others' suggestions, you leave yourself open to fresh perspectives and innovative thinking. You may not realize it, but chances are your ability to envision new possibilities is stronger than it is for most people. In fact, up to now it's likely that you've underestimated your creative potential.

People with a heightened drive for imagination tend to be energetic types with a real joie de vivre. If this is true for you, you might have a reputation among your friends as being the life of the party. You may also be happy for almost any excuse to celebrate. By bringing this kind of vitality to everything you do, you cannot only enjoy your life but can improve the quality of life for everyone around you. Try to capitalize on your capacity to make even run-of-the-mill situations into fun. By sharing your creative ideas and vision, you can make the road to personal and professional success a memorable journey.

Your concept of reality
Your concept of reality is highly similar to that of others but not an exact match. Your perceptions seem to fall in between those who create their own unique realities and those who possess more mainstream perspectives. Because you straddle that middle ground of being in agreement with others and having your own opinions of the world, you can be both a follower and a leader. You can be a follower in the sense that you probably don't have trouble going along with the group most times since others' ideas will usually seem rational to you. You can be a leader because your creative viewpoints may sometimes allow you to guide others in new directions.

The difficulty for people like you is that at times you may feel pulled between taking the popular viewpoint and accepting your own vision of what is right. Because your concept of reality is rarely off the deep end, you can generally feel confident that there's something valid in your perspectives. Even if others don't always share your views, try not to let the masses talk you out of them. There can sometimes be great value in forging your own path. Finding a healthy balance between others' ideas and your own can be key to both your relationships and success.

Your mental flexibility

This section looks as the flexibility of your opinions, values, and perspective. To determine your result, Tickle's experts examined both the fluidity of your thinking and the rigidity of your opinions.

Based on your responses, you're reasonably flexible in your thinking and opinions. As a result, when dealing with most topics, you can easily consider other people's views. However, if a conversation centers on one of your core values, you're typically more reluctant to entertain other ways of thinking. This is true for most people. After all, it's good to have strong opinions on issues of importance. These views help create a foundation for what you believe in. Naturally, your ideas can change and develop over time. But particularly in your case, it's unlikely that they'll be radically different from day to day.

Occasionally your certainty can result in missed opportunities. If you're too sure of your values, you might forego the chance to observe a different way of being. You might also fail to imagine a way of life that might actually make you happier. If you find that you are excessively defensive on certain topics, it's likely because of one of the following reasons. Either the area is something you've had extensive experience with, and therefore have personal history to base your views on. Or, your defensiveness could be covering up a deep wound or insecurity that you're afraid will be exposed if you open yourself up to a new way of thinking.

Your Level of Fantasy
Some people fantasize nearly nonstop, others rarely do, and the majority of people fall somewhere in between. Imagination and the ability to create alternate realities are the two factors that determine whether or not a person is capable of having a highly colorful fantasy life. However, not everyone who can fantasize does. For example, if two strangers who were both capable of fantasizing were sitting next to one another on a bus, one might still spend the whole ride thinking about paying their bills and formulating their next to-do list, while the other could be envisioning taking a siesta on a tropical island. For Tickle's Inblot Test, having a high level of fantasy involves both having the mental tools necessary to fantasize and putting them to use.

Being prone to fantasy can be thought of as a spectacular gift. Fantasy can give one the ability to create a made-up world much more captivating and pleasurable than the usual day-to-day realities. This can be a wonderful asset as you go though life - a free form of entertainment that you can use any time.

Some people look at those who are fantasy prone in a derogatory way. They feel that the more realistically a person thinks, the saner they are. Indeed, most definitions of "abnormal" refer to what is "unusual" or "not frequent". Clinical experts sometimes look at fantasy as a means of trying to escape reality, rather that face what's there.

Regardless of how one feels about fantasy, its value is heavily dependent on how it's used. If you use fantasy to visualize improvements in your life without ignoring important realities, then fantasy can be a useful talent. It can help you maintain your optimism and even to devise novel solutions to your problems. However, if fantasy is something you retreat into as a way of denying reality, then you might want to reconsider your use of it.

Tickle's experts found that you can be highly prone to fantasizing. This doesn't suggest that you aren't in the real world. Your ability to see things clearly may be completely unencumbered by your tendency toward fantasy. It all depends on how you use your ability. Your answers indicate that you're able to use fantasy in a way that makes your world more vibrant and imaginative than it is for most people. Just be wary of keeping one eye on how things really are, particularly when they're not as you'd like them to be.

Fantasy is a technique frequently employed by people living under harsh conditions in order to ease their stress. In this way, imagination can be a vital tool for prison inmates who live in depressing, restrictive conditions day in and day out. Using the power of fantasy can also be a profound relief for people living in poverty and in war zones. In fact, there are many people who live in adverse situations or deal with other painful circumstances that could benefit from occasional relief through fantasy.

Fantasy only becomes a problem when you ignore something you need to deal with because you have the ability to fantasize it away. For example, imagine you have a problem with an aunt of yours. Perhaps this aunt says something that upsets you almost every time you talk with her. As a result, after a while you stop listening to her in favor of pretending that you're someplace else entirely. The fantasy you create for yourself might be more exciting - and far less annoying, but it doesn't change this detrimental pattern between you and your aunt. A better response might be to put your fantasies aside for a while to address your aunt's poor communication style head-on.

At it's worst, fantasy can keep you from making important lifestyle choices. For instance, if you fantasize that you have boundless energy and are a wonderful athlete, and in the meantime sit on your couch eating potato chips and playing video games, there will eventually come a time where you won't be able to deny what is really happening to your body and you will have to tend to the reality of your deteriorating health. However, there's no reason that you have to let fantasy affect you in these negative ways. So long as you pay attention to the aspects of your life that need addressing, like your health or your career, you should be able to use fantasy and creative visualizations to bolster your happiness and success, not impede them.

How you relate to others
Your relationships are complex things. One important aspect affecting all of them is the role that you play when interacting with others. Do you typically take an active approach when dealing with the people around you, or do you tend to behave more passively? According to your test responses, you appear to have a more passive approach to interacting with others. As a result, you likely prefer to be in an environment where others are the movers and shakers. That way the responsibility doesn't fall on you to make things happen or keep everyone happy. It's not that you can't take action in your own life to get what you want. It's simply that when it comes to interacting, you'd usually rather that other people took the lead.

The positive side to this trait is that it leaves you plenty of time to observe what's happening around you. People like you tend to be "watchers," checking out the scene to better understand people's personalities and deeper motivations. In this way, rather than making the first move, you can make the informed move. Over time, you may even become known for your canny observations and tendency to be a good judge of character. Being observant can also be helpful to your overall development as it can aid you in realizing the kinds of people and relationships that serve you best.

Believe it or not, one complication that can arise for people who have passive styles is interacting with other people who are passive. If neither individual is willing to take the initiative, their relationship may either become paralyzed or even fail to materialize in the first place. If you find yourself in a situation like this one, challenge yourself to make some social leaps. You might be surprised to find that sometimes you can enjoy taking the lead.

The Search

2006-08-11T13:29:00.000-05:00

I wanted to share with you a little something my Grandpa wrote on his blog. I loved it. :)

THE SEARCH

I have searched the barren deserts,
the steaming jungles and the cold
regions of my mind.
With only one quest, one thing to find
This search has lasted like eternity
The rewards are as empty as a beggar’s cup
This endless safari straggles through
doubts. indecisions and prejudice wastes
And yet the search goes on and on
The confusion that I find is so profound
that the original idea is almost lost
in the shadows
And at other times so bright as to
be blinding
Always it is an extreme with everything
highly exaggerated
I haven’t charted the heights or depths
for returning is not desired or feasible.

© Prof Don T. Nomuch 2006

More Venting...More Selling

2006-08-11T13:19:00.000-05:00

So I had to take my car in for a tune up the other day. Yes, a tune up, on my car...admidst the other financial obligations I am swimming in, I had to do THAT too. Grr...193 dollars later, my car is in tip top condition. Oh, well, except for the large PAINT CHIP on my hood. And by chip, I mean small dinner plate...in multiple locations. Apparently Dory doesn't like the heat. She's festering. Therefore, today I took her into good ole G&M Body Shop and learned that her booboo would cost a fair $392 dollars to fix. Thanks to the fact that my insurance company is run by jerks, they will not be paying for any of it. Apparently they say that it's "natural wear and tear". Hmm...so if Mother Nature spits ice rocks at my car and leaves dimples, that's covered. But if she glares at it with evil heat rays, too bad. Sorry, Dory. But I fear your are destined to a long hot summer without paint on your hood. Here's to RUST! :)

Oh yeah...and to eventually pay for the above stated repairs, I'm selling more items.

Books

Microeconomics Textbook
Statistics Textbook
Financial Accounting Textbook
The Crush, by Sandra Brown
The Five People You Meet in Heaven, by Mitch Albom
Speak Softly, She Can Hear, by Pam Lewis
The Perfect Man, by Dean Buckhorn (Novelty)
The House on Hope Street, by Danielle Steel
The Wedding, by Danielle Steel
The Cottage, by Danielle Steel
Perfect Stranger, by Danielle Steel

VHS

Speed
Dirty Dancing
Scream
Risky Business

For Sale!

2006-08-10T15:37:00.000-05:00

DVD's

Any Given Sunday
Fast & the Furious
The Game
Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Match Point
Hide and Seek
Madagascar
At First Sight
Loser
Cold Mountain
Varsity Blues
Robots
Billy Madison

CD's

13 Going on 30 Soundtrack
3 Doors Down- The Better Life
50 First Dates Soundtrack
98 Degrees- Revelation
Aaron Tippin Single
Ace of Base- The Sign
Aerosmith- Big Ones
Alicia Keys- Songs in A Minor
Alien Ant Farm- Anthology
Alison Krauss- Now That I’ve Found You
All 4 One
Anastasia Soundtrack
Aqualung- Strange and Beautiful
Aretha Franklin Single
Bangles- Greatest Hits
Barenaked Ladies- Maroon
Batman Forever Soundtrack
Beethoven- Moonlight Sonata
Boyz II Men- Cooleyhighharmony
Boyz II Men- Legacy
Bush- 6teen Stone
Cake- Fashion Nugget
Celine Dion- All the Way
Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack
Chicago- The Very Best of 2 Disc Set
Christmas Collection- 3 Disc Set
Christmas with the Rat Pack
City of Angels Soundtrack
Cocktail Soundtrack
Collective Soul- 7 Year Itch
Collective Soul- Disciplined Breakdown
Counting Crows- Recovering the Satellites
Creed- Human Clay
Creed- Human Clay
Cure- Greatest Hits
Cyndi Lauper- She’s So Usual
Dawson’s Creek Soundtrack
Diana Krall- The Look of Love
Dido- No Angel
Dino- The Essential Dean Martin
Disney Classics- 10 Favorites
Dixie Chicks- Home
Dream Theater- Change of Seasons
Dream Theater- Images and Words
Drive Me Crazy Soundtrack
Dumb and Dumber Soundtrack
Eagles- Greatest Hits 71-75
Eminem- Marshall Mathers LP
Empire Records Soundtrack
ER Soundtrack
Eric Clapton- Chronicles
Eric Clapton- Cream of Clapton
Etta James- Love Songs
Everclear- So Much for the Afterglow
Extreme- Pornograffitti
Faith Hill- Breathe
Faith Hill- Faith
Family Man Soundtrack
Five for Fighting- America Town
Flute Daydreams
Frank Sinatra Christmas Album
Frank Sinatra- Very Best of 2 Disc Set
Fuel- Something like Human
Goo Goo Dolls- A Boy Named Goo
Good Charlotte- Young and the Hopeless
Harry Connick, Jr.- Only You
Home Alone Soundtrack
Hope Floats Soundtrack
Incubus- Make Yourself
Independence Day Soundtrack
India Arie- Acoustic Soul
Indigenous- Circle
Iron Butterfly- The Best of
Janet Jackson- Velvet Rope
Jars of Clay-
Jeff Healey Band- Master Hits
Jennifer Lopez- JLo
Jennifer Lopez- On the 6
Jewel Single
John Mayer- Room for Squares
Jon Bon Jovi- Cross Road
Josh Groban-
K-Ci & JoJo- It’s Real
Keith Sweat
Kenny G- Greatest Hits
Kenny G Single
Lauryn Hill- The Miseducation of
Lenny Kravitz- Greatest Hits
Lit- A Place in the Sun
Live- Throwing Copper
Los Lonely Boys-
Louis Armstrong- Love Songs
Macy Gray- On How Life Is
Madonna Single
Mariah Carey- Daydream
Mariah Carey- Number 1’s
Mariah Carey- Unplugged
Maroon 5- Songs about Jane
Matchbox 20- Yourself or Someone Life You
Michael Buble
Michael Buble- It’s Time
Michael Buble- More
Millennium Classic Rock Party
Montell Jordan Single
Mr. Holland’s Opus Soundtrack
Music for Our Mother Ocean
Neville Brothers- Valence Street
Nickelback- Silver Side Up
No Doubt- Tragic Kingdom
Norah Jones- Come Away With Me
Norah Jones- Feels Like Home
O-Town-
Pachelbel Canon
Perry Como- Greatest Christmas Songs
Police Single
Politics of Rock
Rascall Flatts- Feels like Today
Real McCoy- Another Night
Return to Me Soundtrack
Ruben Studdard- Soulful
Runaway Bride Soundtrack
Santana- Shaman
Santana- Supernatural
Sarah McLachlan Single
Savage Garden Single
Shawn Mullins- The First Ten Years
Sheryl Crow- Live from Central Park
Smart Symphonies Baby
Soul Asylum- Grave Dancers Union
Straight from the Forest
Sugar Ray- 14:59
The Parent Trap Soundtrack
Thunderstorm
TLC- Crazy Sexy Cool
Tony Bennett Christmas Album
Tony Bennett- The Essential 2 Disc Set
Top Gun Soundtrack
Train- Drops of Jupiter
Twister Soundtrack
Vertical Horizon- Everything You Want
Wallflowers- Bringing Down the Horse
What Women Want Soundtrack
Wild Orchid

Ugh

2006-08-09T22:08:00.000-05:00

So, before I tell you what I just read, I must first vent.
My neighbor to the East smokes like a chimney in North Dakota...and shares it.
My neighbor to the West plays the WORST music (If you can call it music) at all hours of the night. My walls thump, my insides thump. I think I'm gonna vomit.
My neighbor to the North (aka, above me) walks like he has a clubbed foot. He STOMPS from the moment he wakes up until WAY after I've attempted to go to bed.

Sorry...I had to share.
Now, to tell you what I've just read. I'm a hypocrit.
Every night, as I lay down to sleep, I read an excerpt from a "Women of Faith" book Caitlin gave me for Christmas. Tonights was this...

"Encourage instead of criticize. Love instead of hate. Hope instead of doubt. Give instead of take. Trust instead of worry."

I needed this tonight (especially since I just complained about everything imaginable) and thought some others might too. Thank you Lord, for allowing me the ability to smell the smoke and recognize how fresh the outdoors can be. Thank you for allowing me to recognize good music, but still give me the gift of hearing the bad. Thank you for giving me neighbors in such close proximity that I might call on them in a time of need. Thank you for giving me money woes, for it shows that I have known what it feels like to be stable. Amen.

Losing It...Chasing It

2006-08-09T21:16:00.000-05:00

So basically, I'm losing it.
I'm desperately chasing it, but I'm losing it.

The stress has overcome every aspect of my life, of my being. My sanity is gone. Blech! There...i'm good now.

To put it mildly, I feel that I have zero control over anything at this point. Everything hinges on something else...and that something hinges on another something. I am putting many DVD's up for sale (mint condition, I might add) if anyone is interested. I am also selling my BRAND SPANKIN' NEW television. I am canceling my internet and television tomorrow so posts will be few and far between. I just spent $200 dollars on getting my car fixed so I am also considering giving up my habit of eating. :) Juuuust kidding... I will be fine. NO WORRIES! I just have to have faith, that my faith will guide me. Send prayers. :) LOVE TO ALL!

Baby Class- The many faces of...

2006-08-02T15:18:00.000-05:00

MADISON

RYDER

There are many more to come...but blogger is being a jerk.

ARGH!

2006-08-01T14:35:00.000-05:00

I HATE being poor!!!! When's a girl gonna catch a break!?!?!?! Grr.....

Say What?!

2006-07-24T22:04:00.000-05:00

I was sitting here with my friend Sue Ann and we were watching "Inside Edition". Know what the topic was? Re-verginization. I'm not kidding. Women are having surgeries, painful, expensive surgeries, to reinstate their verginal status. Do they not realize that just because it "looks" fixed, it's still USED?! Holy crap. Know what the weirdest part of the whole thing was? They're giving this to their husbands as GIFTS. GIFTS, people! HOLY CRAP! Valentine's Day, Father's Day, Birthdays...ANNIVERSARIES. And um, did they stop to think that the "gift" can ONLY BE USED ONCE! Let's try this, girls. Let's give it to them as a WEDDING GIFT. There's a novel idea.

PhotoClass

2006-07-18T21:42:00.000-05:00

Bribery

2006-07-18T21:36:00.000-05:00

When photographing children, bribery goes a long way. :)

(Last) Week in Review, Part Deux

2006-07-13T21:25:00.000-05:00

Names of babysitting hoodlums may have been altered to protect the innocent.

After making a few minor pit stops Kristen, Reagan, Dory (the car) and I headed out. We were packed to utter capacity and even had to leave some things behind. Driving to Tulsa was a breeze. We talked (and sang) the whole way. It's funny. Kristen and I have known each other for 20 some odd years and we have NEVER roadtripped. Never. Not even once! So this was definately an experience we will not soon forget.

To recap, Kristen and I were going to Tulsa to babysit. That's right. The three WONDERFUL children I watch on Friday nights were supposed to be at a family reunion but everyone thought the kids would all be bored to tears at the scheduled family dinner. Wouldn't we all? So, everyone was arranging for their own babysitters. The family got Kristen and I a hotel room and were paying us to boot. Well, we arrived about 6 hours prior to our rendeavous and were grabbing a bite to eat before heading to the Jenks Aquarium when I received a phone call. "Do you mind too terribly much watching two more kids? They're 3 & 6." Honestly, I didn't care all that much. a)Kristen was there to help me. b)they were the same age as the other kids c)they were going to pay really, really well. We agreed...Okay, I agreed and then filled Kristen in. We went to see the fishies and had a pretty good time. It really was fun but not quite what I was expecting. For the price you paid to get in, it wasn't all that fascinating. There were lots of great things to see, but not much fun for a 2 year old. HINT, HINT to any handsome, available, straight men...this would be a great date spot. BECAUSE, less than a mile from the Aquarium is this idealic little shopping area known as the Riverwalk. It's right on the Arkansas River and has the cutest shops and restaurants. One was called the Melting Pot and was a fondu restaurant!! How cool is that?! There was also great music playing, gorgeous fountains...Great.Date.Spot. :) After some much needed shopping time, a little ice cream from The Marble Slab and some running amok in the fountain, we decided it was time for a swim. The hotel had a great little pool. We swam for a bit and met some really nice people in the process. After our dip, FOOD was needed. We went back to our Riverwalk and ate at this huge mexican restaurant called Los Cabos. Never again. Not sure if it was really the food there, but Kristen and I were both up sick all night. It could have very well been the stress of babysitting, or perhaps we had been invaded by some demon (explanation to follow).

After dinner, we were walking back to our car when we see people flying through the air. NO LIE! Apparently, for a small fee, you could strap yourself into this death trap and learn to do the trapeze. No.Thank.You. Especially not after eating what would soon be coined the "Atomic Burrito". We made it back to our room to change clothes and to catch a quick breather before meeting our charges. We arrived at their room to find a WHOLE.BUNCH.OF.PEOPLE. Thank God, they weren't all staying with us. :) The three "angels" were there, totally behaving. Then...it happened. "They" arrived. These little kids walked in...Okay, so one of them, Margot, wasn't so little, but I digress. Mom walks in, dressed like she's "On at 11" and dumps two cases of bottled water and two grocery bags FULL of "healthy snacks". She obviously implies that her daughter is too heafty and she isn't to have any junk food. (By the end of the night, Kristen and I let her have like three pieces of pizza, multiple sugar free wafers and some fruit. She could sure pack it in. But hey, they were "healthy".) Margot's little brother Bo was about all I could handle. The kid SCREAMED the entire time and threw a huge fit if you even looked at him. He refused to get in the swimming pool, requiring a "big kid" to sit out with him. He was awful. After we had enough, "MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!! I WAAAAANNNNT MY MOOOOOOMMMM!" we made our way back to the room. If you think I'm kidding, I'll hurt you. He calmed down a little after the narcotics I slipped him kicked in. TOTALLY KIDDING. We gave him pizza. To kids, it's a drug. He was happy once he had smothered his slice in about 5 packets of parmesan cheese. Looked, revolting. But whatever. After some bouncing on the bed, poopy diapers, falling of the bed and hitting our noggins on the floor (on purpose), watching/screaming through Lilo & Stitch, pinching, the eating of some crayons, etc, etc...things started to wind down a little. I was sitting on the couch with Jillian, aka "Good Kid #2" and her little brother Donnie, aka "Good Kid #3". ("Good Kid #1" is Lauren and she was officially considered a "Big Kid" like Kristen and I by the end of the night because she was the only one Bo would let touch him or even look in his direction.) Donnie, is in LOVE with Reagan. He thinks they're boyfriend and girlfriend and that "She likes me a WHOOOOOOLE lot!" Yes, Donnie. She's 2. She likes you. :) It was freakin' adorable though. He wanted so badly for her to say his name that he would look at her with this expression of "do you speak any English?". "Say...D.O.N.N.I.E". This went on for a good five minutes before Margot started her own little game.
"Say...Richard."
"Richard."
"Say...Samuel."
"Samuel."
"Say...Helmsley."
"Helmsley. *silence* Margot, who is this Richard Helmsley guy?"
"I don't know. He's dead."
*crickets chirp*
"What?"
"I don't know. I saw his name on a headstone in the cemetery."

Kristen and I exchange glances of, "WTF?!"
A few seconds later, she walks up behind "Good Kid #2", touches her shoulder and says...wait for it...waiiiiit for iiiiiit...
"Are you ready to diiiiieee...?" It was the most sinister tone I have ever heard out of a six year old. NOT KIDDING!! PSYCHO SID totally asked this six year old if she was ready to DIE! I made her go sit by herself and then she kept trying to get the other kids to sit on her lap. Thank the Good Lord in Heaven her mother showed up like two mintues later. Both kids acted like everything was GRAND and they had the best time EVER. Even Bo who did nothing but scream and pinch people. Apparently that's his thing. That's how he rolls. Moments later and the "angels" parents got back. We shared with them our demon child story and they thanked us profusely for protecting their children. haha! We got paid, kissed the kiddos g'nite and went.to.bed. Holy mackeral it was a night to remember. Shortly after going to sleep, we were awakened in shifts by torential vomiting. Thank's Los Cabos!! MUCHOS GRACIAS!

To be continued...

Holy Quacamole and other nonsense

2006-07-12T21:27:00.000-05:00

Thank you to all who said your prayers for me about the job. They're definately working so far. :) The test went well. It was very detailed and lasted about 3 hours. A lot of the stuff really made me think, "Oh my Lord, can I do this?" but I know that if they don't think I can do it, I won't get hired. Simple as that. In two weeks I'll know whether I passed the written exam and then I will get a scheduled interview. From there I will begin the polygraph, drug screen and the MMPI psychological evaluation.

They have to make sure I'm crazy enough to work there. ;) ha! Okay...so I'm so totally not kidding.

Those inquiring about photographs. Yes, Caitlin, I will most definately give you copies of the "mini-people" pictures! hahaha!! I SO thought of you when I wrote that. Lena, YAY!!! A) totally syked about the whole IDOL thing. Are you really doing it??! and B) I might be asking you to come up here one night for class so that Rylee can be a model. Maybe. There are some crazy's taking the course with me and I wouldn't want to subject her to them. You'd get lots of free photos...buuuut, I'm thinking I might just call you one of these days and I'll come down there and take some for you. Maybe after my class is done and I know what I'm doing. hahaha! Anywho, class is on Tuesday nights from 6-9 if you ever think you might be able to bring her up. WOOHOO!

When I'm not exhausted, I'll tell you about Katie's 21st birthday dinner. Pretty mild as far as 21st's go...which is how I like it to be quite honest. BUT, I got a happy helping of food on my skirt. Oh yeah, and on my arm, and on my back, and in my hair...that should teach the waiter NOT to carry TEN plates on his arm at ONCE!!! Not lying...Holy Quacamole. Pun totally intended.

Peace out.

NEED.PRAYERS.NOW

2006-07-11T22:05:00.000-05:00

Everyone please keep me in your prayers tonight!! I am taking the monster test for the police department job tomorrow. EEK! I repeat...EEK!

Photography class tonight was muy interesante. The other peeps in the class are characters. The teacher has already told me I am his favorite and "Thank God you're here." haha! One is actually known as the "Crazy Cat Lady". OMG! I have my babysitting charges all lined up to come in next week and model for us tho!! Sweet little muffins! Amanda and all my little pregger and soon to be pregger friends, beware. I am gonna be fully equiped to take maternity AND baby pictures, not to mention toddlers and mini-people.

Seriously, if anyone needs some photos done, I can do Black and White, Wedding, Portrait and soon will be skilled in the art of BABIES! :)

In Deep Doo-Doo

2006-07-11T14:51:00.000-05:00

I caught some hardcore flack for not posting a picture of my Squishy, Nash. Word to his motha...I DIDN'T GET TO SEE HIM OVER THE FOURTH! SOMEONE didn't bring him to see his Aunt Liz. So there. :)

But because I'm a bigger person than she is and I have a much kinder heart (JUST KIDDING!) I will oblige and post pictures of my favorite man.

NASH!!!!!!!
P.S. Tonight is my first Baby n' Toddler photography class!! I am going to recruit you to come down and stay with me one of these weeks so he can be a model in class!!

Week in Review, Part I

2006-07-09T08:42:00.000-05:00

After some much needed begging, I got a couple days off work last week. I had to babysit in Jenks on Saturday night and had asked my dear friend Kristen to help me out. In return, I was to "help her out" by going to her father's house for the weekend. Blech. I truly dislike that man, but for my friend I would do anything. Besides, she was doing me a HUGE favor by helping me babysit. I had no idea HOW huge until a couple hours before meeting our charges. More on that later. :)

So the weekend began with a normal day of work. I had beligerant clients and screaming cats...just like any other day. I left immediately following work to drive an hour to OKC where I would pick up Kristen and Reagan. No need having two cars going to all these places, so we decided to carpool. They were in Target when I arrived. I called Kristen and told her I was in the parking lot. "We're in clothes," she said. SURPRISE, SURPRISE! (Luv ya Kris) I walk in the store and spot my friend amidst the clothing. In the cart is the scrumptious Ms. Reagan. I peak my head around a rack of Mossimo jeans and she spies me... "Ohhhh...My Dizzi." I grinned from ear to ear. I had been waiting a month to hear those words. I love this kid like she's my own!! UGH! We continued to shop a while longer in Target and made our way to Old Navy. I think in the span of the week we spent 1/2 our time in Old Navy. :) Don't worry...I didn't spend TOO much money. haha! Here is where we found the green Cuban Soul Revival t-shirt that just screamed Drew's name! (See below for photo.) We bought it for him, of course. On the way out of town, we stopped by Arby's to get a drink and basically had change thrown at us from the girl at the window. Upon leaving the parking lot, we almost got hit by a REALLY EXPENSIVE car. This could be because we were staring at the two 'brothas' standing on the street corner. Only in OKC...

I let Kristen drive home because her hubby felt safer knowing that she was in control. It is their baby in the car of course. Absolutely no hard feelings for that request Brent...none. But let me share with you that I drive at 10 & 2. Your wife on the other hand, drove with her KNEE while talking on her cell phone and filing her nails. Not gonna lie, it was scary. haha!!! Juuuuuust kidding.

Soon after arriving at my house, we decided dinner was in order. MEXICAN FOOD HERE WE COME! I told Kristen how great this little restaurant was and that she wouldn't be disappointed. The food was average, definately not their best work, but it was their beverages that served to disappoint. There was a BUG in Kristen's margarita. a BUG. And no, it wasn't the worm from the tequila. She handed me her glass and sure enough, there he was, striped body and swimmy legs. I called over the waitress and asked her to remove the drink from our bill as it had living creatures in it. She took the glass with a grimace and walked away. I figured she would pour it out and bring us a new bill. Nooooo...apparently good customer service is too much to ask for. She and the MANAGER came over, glass in hand, and asked us to identify.the.bug. No lie. The manager glared at us and said that it was a lemon seed. I smarted off that last time I checked lemon seeds didn't have legs, nor do they swim. Kristen, by this point, was pissed and just wanted to leave. "FINE! I don't care. I'll just pay for it." The manager's response? "Ok." Ass. I will not be going there anytime soon. Okay, so I'll be there for Katie's 21st this week, but I will NOT be drinking the bug infested margaritas.

After dinner, we went to my former roommates house. My old house. It looks and feels SO DIFFERENT, but in a way, it still feels like home. Kristen did Caitlin's nails and then Cait gave Kristen a 1-hour massage. Oh, how I love have skilled friends. :) No matter how selfish that sounds, i'ts fabulous, Dearies. Reagan and I played and talked with Edwin while we waited on the girls. I tried to get her to call Edwin, Ben-Ben which is what his nieces call him. It came out more like BeeBee, but you take what you can get.

By the time we got back to my place, we were all thoroughly exhausted. Kristen slept on the couch and Reagan and I had the floor. It was an interesting experience to sleep with a squirmy child, I'll just say that. She flopped over on me once and woke herself up. "Mamma? Ohhh..My Dizzi." She was instantly back asleep. What a doll. I slept like CRAP tho...holy moley. I had to get up about 800 times to get my cats off of the counter, out of the trash or out of the closet. Finally, I locked them in the office. A few hours later, Kristen is standing over me. "Can I PLEASE let them out of that room? They're crying is driving me CRAZY?!" haha!

That morning we got up and prepared to drive to Jenks for our babysitting gig. That will be a WHOLE nother post because it was just that insane. Good day all, I'm off to church. :)

Freeze Frame

2006-07-08T20:40:00.000-05:00

I know, I know!!! Kristen, I promised you a real blog post and I am failing. I am too pooped to recap this INSANE week. I promise I'll get there. But to hold you over, here are twenty-five (YES, 25!!!) photos to recap the events. Enjoy, and much love to all.

Puddle Jumping.

Naps.

Lots, and lots of naps.

Ganga.

New Friends.

More friends...

Element of Surprise.

Cuban Soul Revival. A little shout out to DREW!

Snacks.

Honesty.

Amazement.

Nemo.

Dory.

Compassion.

Family.

Power.

Golf Catty.

Stylin'.

Cuddling.

Innocence.

Showers.

Bad Haircuts. (Sorry, Fletch.)

Binge Drinking.

Giggles.

And finally, what you have all been waiting for...the BIG CHEESE!

Oooouuuurrr House...is a very, very, very fine house...

2006-07-06T21:59:00.000-05:00

Okay...I'll stop singing to you now. :)

I wanted to post these pictures for all to see before I deleted them off my computer. I thought I posted them a long time ago. Oops....

Welcome to mi casa...

On Friends

2006-06-24T22:17:00.000-05:00

My office has a litter of kittens for adoption. They are the cutest, fuzziest little balls of fur you’ve ever seen. If it wouldn’t lead me on the fast track to “Crazy Cat Lady Land” I’d totally take one home. However, a single gal, living alone with three cats in an apartment just screams ALONE FOREVER. Therefore, I shall let them find good homes with other people. In doing so, I called a client of ours that I knew was looking for a new pet. She immediately came over to visit. She had recently lost a beloved pet named Meg, and knew that if she adopted another, they could look nothing alike. Out of the bunch she selected the one that was opposite in every way from her Meg. I carried the fuzzy, orange ball of fluff into an exam room so they could meet. Upon entering the room, the woman began to get weepy as she recalled the pet she had lost. “They become like oxygen in your environment, you know? Even when you’re not thinking about it, they’re there. Ever present.” I left the room, thinking not of the kitten, but of the people I call friends.

Throughout my life, I have been blessed with people I considered acquaintances, friends and best friends. Each one has been exactly as my client spoke of, like oxygen. Without questioning their presence, they were there. Friendships came as natural to me as breathing and I owe that completely to people I chose to befriend. It is only natural that it should take time to learn about a person, but in each of these people, I immediately saw myself. That was a miracle all its own as I had been desperately searching for who I was. This leads me to believe that we are led towards each other and into each others lives, thanks to some much needed divine intervention. I received countless emails in the past that say people are brought into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime and I couldn’t agree more. I could go down the list of people I have known through the years and each one has been a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold or merely a laugh waiting to burst forth. I am eternally grateful for each person as they have had a hand in shaping who I am, and where I am today.

I won’t go into each person individually as it would more than likely bore the rest of you to tears. In addition, I have told most of these people already, sometimes on a daily basis, just how much I love and appreciate them. However, there is one person who I have neglected to thank. Through the years, I have felt it easier to ignore the past and look towards the future when it came to you. Every time I ventured down Memory Lane, it seems I always took a wrong turn at Regret Road. It wasn’t that I ever regretted being your friend; it was that I regretted not being able to do more, to be stronger, and to be better. You say that I never gave up on you, but I felt that I had. I wanted so badly for you to be the person I knew you could be that I overlooked the person you were. In trying to help you be a better person, I saw the flaws in myself and was more angered than I could have ever imagined. I saw weakness when I thought I was strong. When I finally realized I was being silly, the time for apologies had passed. Your life was going in a different direction, as was mine, and I felt it easier to just let go. All the anger and hurt that was associated with you vanished within no time and the void was filled with wonder. I wondered if you were happy, if you were safe, if you were doing what you dreamed of doing. Five years have now passed and I continue to wonder. Things have changed a little this time around, however. When I wonder, I can simply “log on” and ask you, “Are you happy? Are you safe? Are your dreams coming true?” Since the day we reconnected, all these years later, I have done a lot of thinking. I can’t articulate how wonderful it is to know the answers to these questions I have been bearing. It delights me to know that you are smiling behind the words you are typing. It creates within me a sense of peace I didn’t know I needed. Although, this newfound peace wasn’t without its own set of questions. Why, after all this time, have we found each other once again? Is there a reason that we have no anger between us? No contempt? No regrets? Yes. There is a reason. And I believe that reason is to shed light into a dark place within each other that shows us we have grown. We have come a long way from the days of awkwardness, teenage angst and juvenile fears. We have made it valiantly into the hands of adulthood where we can look forward without fear of what we once were. To you, I thank you for showing me that I really have come a long way. Thank you for loving the person I was and for being interested in the person I am now. I am glad, despite all things, that you were a part of my life. That chapter has ended, long ago, but life has an interesting way of doing flashbacks.

To this person, I believe you know who you are. If you’re reading this and wondering, “Is she talking about me?” chances are I am. Friendship is a valuable, valuable gift that I believe is just like the woman said. We breathe each other in, we help each other grow, we create a world of constant comfort that can only be built by a friend. Friends are oxygen.

Dad's Day

2006-06-19T21:45:00.000-05:00

Before I delve into tonights post, let me first ask you, “How cool am I?”

I’m 24.
I’m single.
I live alone...
and I’m home watching, The Lion King.

YES! I am an amazing being and you all should be oh, so jealous. J

Today’s post is in reference to Father’s Day. I know...I’m late. But honestly, did you expect anything else? I thought it might be nice to reminisce a little and share with you my favorite memories with some of my favorite Dad’s. For those of you who are a bit confused, yes, I do only have one dad, however there have been many men throughout my life who are/were amazing fathers. So, here it goes...

Dad: My dad and I were the best of friends when I was a kid. There was never a question in my mind that I wasn’t the apple of his eye. I have lots of great memories of my dad, but my two favorites are from when I was little. We were living in Enid and Dad worked for an oil company. I got to go along on one of his trips to check on a rig. We got to eat out just the two of us and he would stop at a local gas station and buy me a soda and a candy bar. I wore his welding glasses and a big, old “Woolybooger” hat and sat in the front seat of his work truck. We would listen to Pink Floyd, The Moody Blues and Jimmy Buffett on cassette as we drove down the long Oklahoma roads. He taught me to wave at every.single.passing car. My other favorite was when we had just moved to Illinois. I was 13 years old and was laying in the living room floor watching “Father of the Bride”. He sat behind me reading the paper. I heard him lower the paper and clear his throat. I turned to see him staring at me. When I asked him what was wrong, he asked me to promise him that one day when I got married, that he’d get to walk me down the aisle. At the time, I thought it was an ubsurd request, because who else would I have do that. After a few years of changes and some harsh words were shared, the thought crossed my mind that I would have my brother do it when the time came. That promise from 11 years ago always pops back into my head and I know that I would never go back on. Despite all the changes that have occurred, I know that I am still the apple of his eye.

Granddad Harvey: One of the BEST men I have ever known. He loved quietly, and often in a reserved manner, but he loved like no other. I can remember countless times sitting near him on the couch. He would be smoking his pipe that smelled better than anything I can remember. We would watch hunting or fishing shows or some old western...we would watch in silence. But then, he would shake his fist at me, wink and call me Sugar Plum. He always had change in his pocket, too. It was such a treat, such a simple pleasure, to have Granddad give you a quarter from his pocket. I miss him terribly.

Grandpa Wayne: Probably THE funniest and most “character like” person I know. He always had a way of making me feel like I was his favorite, even though I’m sure all the grandkids felt that way. He tells the best stories, and the most random jokes. My Grandma Elaine calls them his “Wayneisms”. He has a talent for just about everything. Painting, cooking, wine making, woodworking, carpentry, stained glass, glass etching, poetry...you name it, this man can do it. He loves with reckless abandon.

Papa: Papa Bear was not my biological grandpa, but he might as well have been. Since I was 4 years old he has loving referred to me as one of his own. He included me in family events and welcomed me into his arms and home. His granddaughter and I grew up as best friends and I think he found great comfort in that. There was never a time where I graced their dinner table that he didn’t specifically include me in his prayers. I remember his daily wear of white t-shirt and overalls and his laugh that could light up a room. He was a great man and I miss him very, very much.

Uncle Mark: Mark is definitely one of those guys who is a charmer. He has this amazing knack for making you feel like you are the most wonderful person in the world. When you’re with him, you are the only person in the room. I have great memories from him when I was growing up. When he would come to visit, it was a HUGE deal! He was fun and carefree and everything that I wanted to be. He has great taste in music and movies, he loves to shop and he is a hopeless romantic. When I need a shoulder to lean on or a good laugh, he is the guy I turn to. He gives advice, but only when it is requested. He is terrible at returning phone calls, but when he is truly needed, he is there without fail.

Uncle Andrew: My Uncle Andrew and I never lived fewer than thousands of miles apart so I really didn’t get to grow up with him. But the few times we did get to meet, we had more fun than I can explain. We never even went to do anything, but he was SO funny and so genuine that it didn’t matter. Andrew was my lumberjack uncle. He’s from Washington state and talks with an Oklahoma drawl. He wears hiking boots with running shorts and has a thing for chocolate milkshakes. My favorite memory of Andrew was when I moved back to Oklahoma with my mom. He loaned us money to get a u-haul and personally loaded and moved us to Stillwater. He paid for a crew of guys to come help us unload and made sure that we were taken care of. He never once asked for anything in return, just wanted ‘his girls’ to be cared for. He is an amazing dad to his two young daughters and has raised them to be two of the most well rounded individuals I have ever met. He would take them fishing and hunting, and then the next night, turn around and take them to a father/daughter dance. He is a great dad to his girls and a great uncle to me.

I’m sure there are more that I should list on here, but these are the six most influential men in my life. A couple of them are gone now, but the imprint they left on my heart is permanent. Between these guys, I know that if I needed ANYTHING, it would be provided. Whether it would be a an ear to listen to my most recent broken heart, a recipe for a good casserole, a hearty belly laugh, a simple gesture of love and adoration, a bear hug or a walk down the aisle...it would be provided. Thank you to the best men I know for being so amazing, that I am willing to share you with the world.

Love, Liz

Natural High

2006-06-14T20:24:00.000-05:00

Life is full of things that make me happy. Little things that make me stop and remember how great it is to be alive. Here are a few of my natural highs...what are some of yours?

1. A great song on the radio that just seems to fit your exact mood.
2. Having a crush.
3. Driving with the windows down.
4. A kiss from a snuggly kitten.
5. A hug from a friend.
6. A phone call from a friend you just happened to be thinking of.
7. Listening to a kid giggle over something you were dying to giggle at too.
8. Fully submerging yourself in a pool of water for the first time all summer.
9. Getting sunburnt and knowing that this time next week, you're gonna be TAN!
10. A new box of crayons.
11. Flippin on the tv for noise and having it already be tuned in to a rerun of Friends.
12. A bouqet of pink flowers on the counter at work, just cause.
13. A great workout.
14. A new set of scrubs.
15. That first sip of an ice cold fountain Dr. Pepper from Sonic. mmmm...
16. Being called beautiful.
17. Knowing someone misses you.
18. The smell of rain...the sound of thunder...OH! Storms in general.
19. Doing something for yourself, simply for the joy of it.
20. Saying thank you for something and seeing the look on that persons face.

OH! The list could go on...
Tell me yours.

On the Sunny Side of the Street

2006-06-13T19:12:00.000-05:00

SUCH A BETTER DAY!

Seriously...wow...

*Carpets are clean.
*Ceiling only has a couple more steps until it's fixed.
*My kitties got to come home!!!!
*Pet deposit has been waived to compensate for the pet boarding expenses.
*Went shopping with Katie-Ladie.
*Have the speakers hooked up to my computer finally and can now listen to TUNES!
*Getting ready to do Pilates AGAIN and feel great about myself.

Thank you Lord for this blessed day. SO MUCH BETTER THAN YESTERDAY! (And even it had it's silver lining.)

This is Nicole our new nurse at the clinic and one of my squishy babies, Fuji. He is getting HUGE! He's not even a year old yet!!!

Emotional Overload

2006-06-12T20:41:00.000-05:00

This past week has been an emotional overload. I haven't been able to tell whether I am coming or going. The problem is completely mine and I just have to own up to that fact. I have been allowing things that are minute in existance, to grow and fester into things I feel like I might not be able to handle. I used to vent to my friends, but as of late, I feel that my venting is going to overshadow the cheery person I want to be and make me an unbearable nuisance to the people I love. Everytime I have opened my mouth in the past few days, it seems to be a complaint about an event or a person. And that is unacceptable.

Here's my diagnosis: I am a neurotic, PMSing female who can't see past her own nose.

I tend to have difficulty accepting that people are not like me. They will not always think like me or handle things like me. It's not that I WANT everyone to be like me. I value and appreciate diversity to its fullest. It's just that I expect people to act in a certain manner when that is a completely unfair wish. If a friend were to call me and ask me to go shopping with them because they needed to get out of the house, for example, I would quit what I was doing to go. No matter what it was, I would stop to help my friend even if it just means that I too, get out of the house. I tend to put others before myself in almost every situation and when they don't do the same in return, I get my feelings hurt. In all honesty, I should be applauding them for the strength they have to focus on themselves once in awhile. I always feel that I HAVE to do what everyone needs or wants me to do because if I don't, the will love me a little less. They will need me a little less. On top of the fact that its insane to expect the exact treatment in return from people, it's more insane when you stop and realize that it appears now that I do things for people in order to have favors done for me. And that's not the case at all! I do things for people because I love them and when I feel that that love is not reciprocated when I need them, I get all bent of shape. If I don't get asked to hang out and do something, I automatically assume I have done something wrong and I get defensive. I can't just accept that people are busy. If someone gets a tone with me or doesn't smile when I smile at them, I get unnecessarily anxious wondering what it was that I have messed up. I can guess at how I would handle a situation (having never really been in that particular situation) and if it isn't handled how I would do it, it's wrong. For example, say a friend gets a new boyfriend and suddenly doesn't have time for their friends anymore, I would irrationally speculate that if "I" were the one with a boyfriend, I would still make time for my friends. (First off, read back a few lines and you'll notice that I AUTOMATICALLY think that the fact they're busy has something to do with something I've done wrong.) When I think back to how I sulk over my "mistakes" I feel utterly silly. Their having a boyfriend has nothing to do with me. Their having a life has nothing to do with me. The way they handle things is fine, it may not be my way, but its fine. I take everything so blasted personally that I am appauled.

HOWEVER, in organizing some paper work last night, I ran across an old email from a friend who reacted the Exact.Same.Way towards me. He was upset that I didn't spend as much time hanging out with him as he wanted and then he gave me the silent treatment. I did the same thing to a friend this week. She upset me, I felt betrayed, and therefore I thought my not speaking to her would make her realize the error of her ways and she would apologize. To be quite honest, she really didn't have anything to apologize for. So, I sat in the floor with my friends letter and cried. Remembering that life is way to damn short to fret over these unbelievably small things. I had been to church that morning and felt that the pastor was speaking just to me. Envy is only going to ruin me and my relationships with others. And that's the truth of the matter, I was envious and jealous and acted irrationally.

Today, I am moody and emotional, but all by natural causes. haha! I have felt like crap all day, but I have made an extra effort to be a delight instead of a disappointment. I apologized to those I felt deserved it and made a boundful effort to bite my tongue whenever a negative thought arose. I came home and began cleaning my house, preparing for more maintenance men to repair my apartment. I found a box that I had left to the last of the unpacking because I thought I knew what all was in it. I was wrong. Inside, this box held a bountiful array of memories and good thoughts. Pictures of beloved friends and family and a secret treasure. A few months ago, my dear, dear friend whom I have come to love as a sister (there is no other word for it) made me a stack of index cards. Each card held a quote or thought of inspiration and love. There was also a stack of her favorite comfort food recipes including family recipes that she shared with me whole heartedly. God has blessed me so richly. I have never been more wealthy than I am right now. Thank you to each and every person who has put up with me, loved me, valued me and pushed me forward. I love you more than you could ever know. You have been my strength...even when I'm feeling, sappy, weepy and downright girly. :)

"I believe in the sun even when it is not shining, in love even when I am alone and in God even when he is silent."- unknown

Burn Outs & Donut Holes

2006-06-05T16:47:00.000-05:00

Due to the recent "Swamp Thing" remake in my living room I have been staying at my mom's house. But this weekend my friend Kristen and her family invited me to their place. I drove down on Friday evening and we all drove to Weatherford for the best catfish I have ever had. It was so good! AND it was reinforced with humor when Kim backed the car into a pole at the gas station. Marvelous! Oh yeah, and the fact that my friend Brent was already drunk by the time I got there made it even more fun. He is FUNNY when he's been drinkin'. haha! The next day Kristen had school and Kim had to work so Brent and I took Reagan to the Burn Out! For those of you who don't know (I didn't either.) this is where it is LEGAL to burn your tires and peel out. In fact, they talked a police officer into doing it in his squad car. Quite entertaining! It was so much fun! The smell of burgers on the grill, burning rubber and suntan lotion. The sound of classic rock, squealing tires and laughter. Who could ask for more? Did I mention there were some amazing cars there??? There was a Nova I would have given my right leg for, but then I wouldn't have been able to push the gas pedal. :) I'm so funny.

After that, we headed to the city where we visited Bass Pro Shop and Old Navy. Kristen was with us by then and we went home to dinner. Typical night, nothing exciting. Now Sunday morning is when the FUNNIEST thing happened. Kristen and I decided we were going to run to Daylight Donuts and get breakfast. We pulled up to the drive-thru and this little foreign lady was there. We gave her the order. She filled it. We gave her money. She took it. Typical transaction. But as she was handing Kristen back her credit card, she knocked over the bag of donut holes and one wee little guy rolled out onto the counter. She looked at us with this expression of absolute shock and amazement. "OH! I so sowy!" She then proceeded to pick up the hole with her bare hands (off the not so sterile window sill I might add), blows on it, brushes it off, puts it back in the bag and tries to hand it to Kristen. EEEWW! Kristen said, "Oh I don't want that one." So the lady says, "Ok." and puts her hand in the bag to take out the one, lone hole. "No, no, no...I don't want that BAG of holes." So the lady goes and gets us a "new" bag. We're not 100% sure it was new, but we hope so. (Hi BRENT! Hope you enjoyed those holes.) haha!

Sunday was spent by the kiddy pool with Reagan and babysitting the most IRRITATING cry baby I have ever met in my life. The only time she didn't cry was when her benadryl kicked in and she fell asleep. Her slumber was stoccatoed by the occasional "suck-in-the-bottom-lip-gasping-for-air" post cry. If you don't know what I am talking about, I'm sorry. I would so demonstrate for you if I could because I used to cry just like that when I was a kid. haha! I'm not kidding. Holy crap. If Reagan were like that, I wouldn't be there to visit nearly as often. muahaha...

I stayed last night too as it was getting late and I didn't want to drive through road construction on I-35 in the dark. So, I got up at 4:45 this AM to drive the hour and a half to work. Not my favorite thing to do, but it works. It was lightening like crazy and the clouds were amazing!! They made for an incredible view the whole way home. If I didn't think I would be late for work, I would have stopped to take pictures. Not kidding. It was that breathtaking. I wish someone had been there to share it with me.

Now, I'm off to nap. The apartment is still wet and muggy but it is getting better. I'm going to stay at mom's a night or two more just to be on the safe side. I keep telling myself, it could have been SO much worse.

Love, Liz

The Great Flood of 2006

2006-06-01T18:53:00.000-05:00

So I was sitting in my apartment this afternoon, watching a little Oprah, paying a few bills. Generally, enjoying the peace and quiet. I had cleand the house, baked a cake and was sitting down to pay the remainder of my bills when (BOOM!!!) there is an explosion above me. I jumped straight off the sofa and suddenly, there is gallons upon gallons of hot water flowing down my north wall. I have never seen so much water. I opened the front door and saw that it was not only inside, but flowing out of the eaves. I hauled ass to the main office and burst through the door. THEREWASANEXPOLISONANDNOWMYAPARTMENTISFLOODINGOHMYGOD! The guy looked at me like, "Oh, s**t." He ran behind me and immediately went to the apartment above me. There was no water to be seen. He then ran to turn off the water to the entire building but the maintenance man apparently decided he needed to take the water valve key home as a souvenire. About 20 minutes and a trusty pair of pliers later, the water is off. The ceiling on the south wall of my living room is buckled and full of water, the carpet is flooded with approximately 2 inches or more of very warm water and all of my furniture has been shoved into other rooms. Turns out that a pipe between the floors burst (actually a part that was replaced ONCE BEFORE malfunctioned and now a law suit could be pending) and flooded my place and the one immediately west of mine that is vacant. I get a months free rent, my carpets cleaned for free and I only have to pay a pet deposit on one of my cats. So, today had its deep ends and shallow ends of the "Oh, s**t" pool. My apartment smells and looks like a swamp, but I can pay rent this month.

All is well.

It could have been so much worse and I am very thankful. Tonight, and more than likely for a few more, I will be staying at my moms house. The carpet is all pulled up and there are fans under the padding. Wouldn't make for a very good nights sleep I reckon.

"The storm rages on..."

2006-05-31T21:39:00.000-05:00

Love:Family:Friends:Life

2006-05-31T20:56:00.000-05:00

100 Things You Probably Never Wanted to Know About Me

2006-05-31T17:32:00.000-05:00

1. I was named after my maternal Grandmother.
2. My birthday is February 10 and I LOVE that. So close to Valentine's Day!
3. I love and hate Valentine's Day in equal portions.
4. My all time favorite song EVER is Kokomo by the Beach Boys. I think it reminds me of my childhood.
5. I love to watch sports in person (Seriously NEED to attend a baseball game SOON!) but I hate, hate, hate watching them on television.
6. I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason. I just have to remind myself of it daily.
7. I am a hopeless romantic. Key word...hopeless.
8. I hate anything to do with politics and government because I think people talk out their ass. Not even necessarily the politicians. Moreso, the people who are AGAINST the politicians. They annoy me.
9. My least favorite subject in college thus far has been Financial Accounting. 2nd is Macro Economics and 3rd is Micro Economics. Blech.
10. I am very picky when it comes to guys. Oh...so picky.
11. I love the smell of rain so much that it has the ability to completely alter my mood. In fact, it is raining outside my open window as we speak.
12. I hate Tom Cruise and all that he stands for. I hope his wife gets post-partum depression and yoga doesn't help.
13. I can't stand to take a shower without immediately brushing my teeth. I think it's an OCD thing. MUST.BE.CLEAN!
14. I call my best friends (Female Version 2.0) daughter my niece and it gives me warm fuzzies. She will never know a day without love.
15. I detest slow drivers. I seriously think Texas and Missouri schools need to reevaluate their driver's ed programs.
16. My favorite color is green.
17. I used to detest pink and anything that resembled pink. Now, I find it makes me happy.
18. I am in love with Michael Buble. He could sing to me all day, every day and I would not ask him to stop.
19. God, my family and my friends are the most important thing in the world to me.
20. I try to avoid drama, but it always seems to follow me everywhere.
21. I always have something to worry about. I look forward to the day when I wake up without fear of...something.
22. I am already burned out with college but will continue for the blasted piece of paper that proclaims I have spent more than a lifesavings on an education I can barely define.
23. I work for a veterinarian. It made NOT want to be a veterinarian.
24. I love taking pictures. People, things..it doesn't matter. I love to capture the moment. Every moment.
25. I have two tattoos.
26. I miss high school. Sometimes.
27. I have one older brother, Michael. We fight, but we love each other. I wouldn't trade him for anything.
28. My parents divorced when I was 18. It still stings.
29. I am most happy hanging out with friends in a casual environment. I love movies, music, parks, picnics, zoos, museums, sporting events.
30. I hate going to the bars.
31. I've never been skiing and I don't have a desire to ever go.
32. I can curl my tongue in two ways.
33. Daisies are my favorite flower. The simple, white ones with the yellow center and then the vibrant colors of the Gebera variety make me happy.
34. Spring is my favorite season. Fall is a close runner up.
35. I love hanging out with "the guys."
36. I cry at movies...and great commercials. That Folgers one from Christmas gets me every time.
37. I love Cranberry Limeaides from Sonic.
38. I desperately want to fall in love. Hard.
39. I am bitter to those who have everything handed to them, and at the same time feel sorry for them. They will never know the value of themselves.
40. I love to sing, but you don't want me to.
41. My favorite alcoholic beverage is an Amaretto Sour or a Cherry Vodka Sour. However, I am a closet beer lover.
42. I bite my lip when I am nervous.
43. My mom tells me I'm the most confident person she knows. Frightening how little she must know about me. I am the most self conscious person I know.
44. The only thing I will ever trade my car in on is the hybrid version of itself.
45. I'm terrified of being alone forever. Moreso, of never being a mom.
46. I am terrible at balancing my own check book. Eek!
47. I love a good compliment. Thanks, Jay.
48. I can't roller skate to save my life.
49. I love road trips.
50. I am addicted to Grey's Anatomy. I have already purchased the first nine episodes of the first season.
51. I detest reality television. People, there is NOTHING "real" about it.
52. I love laughing. It's like jogging on the inside.
53. I wore braces for almost 2 years.
54. My life is complete, as I have held a sleeping child in my arms.
55. I love it when people think I'm funny...especially when I'm not trying.
56. I feel safe hiding behind my glasses. I don't want contacts because then I'd be exposed.
57. My dad and I have hazel eyes. My mom and brother have blue.
58. I get a high from helping others.
59. I did the Dragon's Wing at Six Flags; it is one of the most freeing experiences of my life.
60. I have told two guys that I love them. They both said it back. I don't talk to either one anymore. :(
61. I've had one speeding ticket in my entire driving career. I speed all.the.time.
62. I am relearning to have faith. I have found a church home and became a member.
63. My two best friends tell me they love me...and mean it. I love them too.
64. I cannot stand big sunglasses. You people look like bugs.
65. I have been accepted to three universities in my life time.
66. I am a published poet.
67. When I am walking upstairs and I'm alone, I break out in a run because I have this weird fear that someone is behind me or under the stairs.
68. I had a reoccuring dream as a child that I would watch my parents sleep.
69. My first real memory is from our house on Maple in Enid. I think I lived there until I was five.
70. I recently learned that my dog Frosty didn't run away.
71. I've been to the emergency room twice.
72. I had my elbow cracked by a bass drum during a marching band practice in high school.
73. I was sent to the principles office once in my life. I got In School Suspension.
74. I hate new situations. Once I get comfortable, I'm okay.
75. I have flown by myself 3 times.
76. I was always teachers pet.
77. I would rather buy a DVD than food.
78. I remember my first kiss and really wish I couldn't. haha!
79. I am a virgin. YAY FOR ME! (When people learn this about me, they always appear shocked...then jealous.)
80. I dislike fake people.
81. I used to want to be a teacher until I learned that I play favorites very, very badly.
82. I've been to 10 US States.
83. I live in Tornado Alley and have for the majority of my life.
84. I have been to over seven funerals.
85. In weddings, I have been the guest book attendant, scripture reader, candle lighter, cake cutter, announcement hander outer, candid photographer, corsage guru and gofer.
86. I love to decorate my house.
87. I am unbelievably sentimental. I can't bear to get rid of memories.
88. I desperately want to learn to play the piano and the guitar.
89. I believe you should always respect other people, no matter what.
90. I love technology and I spend WAY too much money on it.
91. My mom calls me at least once a day.
92. I pawned my flute for rent money when I moved to Oklahoma and regret it every single day. (See #87)
93. My nicknames are Liz, Izzi, Dizzi, Ard, Franki and Bubble
94. I wish on stars.
95. I love Chinease food and hate Japanese.
96. When I was a kid, I would be so terrified of getting in trouble or disappointing my parents that I made myself physically ill with worry.
97. I've held a job since I was 15.
98. The Stillwater Chief of Police, during a job interview (when discussing my college transcript during full time employment) told me, "Those are damn good grades girl."
99. I have a very eclectic love of music.
100. I could watch reruns of Full House and Friends every day and never get tired of them.

Quick Update

2006-05-30T20:57:00.000-05:00

Not too much has occured since my last post, aside from the fact that my outlook on life and general attitude has improved somewhat. :) I spent the weekend with some of my most favorite people. As soon as I discontinue my lazy streak, I will post pictures of this weekend with my best friend, Female Version 2.0 and her delightful family. We spent it shopping, eating, and laughing. What better way to get your mind off feeling sorry for yourself? Am I right?

I know that things will be okay. It just takes one day at a time to convince myself of that. Repetition, repetition, repetition...

Ugh...

2006-05-26T14:19:00.000-05:00

Well, today has turned out to be crappy with a capital CRAP!

It started out well. I got ready and was out the door on time for work. The drive there was a beautiful one as it was approximate 20 degrees cooler than it had been all week and some immensely amazing storm clouds were due north. The sky had this ominous dark tone that is so unexpected that early in the morning. I loved it. The field directly east of my apartment was thick with a layer of bright white fog that was in stark contrast of the sky. An amazing morning.

Work was fine until I questioned the ethical standards of others. It's hard for me to talk to people on the phone who ask me, "How inhumane do you think it would be if I left my cat with a broken leg?" Not kidding. I was asked that today. A woman watched her cat get hit by a car on Saturday, HEARD his lungs filling with fluid, and then was like, "Oh, he'll be dead by morning." Shocker...cat.didn't.die. He suffered. He lived until morning when the woman finally took him to a vet clinic. There, she was told the animal would require surgery due to the location and extensive nature of his injuries. She didn't want to pay for it, so she called me. She wasn't asking for financial assistance. She wasn't asking for advice. No. She was asking me to set her free from the burden of guilt she felt for wanting to take her cat to a barn and let it die from its injuries. I couldn't tell her that was okay. I just couldn't. So, I told her that before we could give her any medical advice, it was in the pets best interest to be seen by a veterinarian. Now, I fear she will never bring the cat in, and he will sit and suffer until he dies. I will never understand people.

I began to feel sick and couldn't wait to go home. The time came for my shift to end and I was making the drive back home when an idiot pulled out across traffic almost hitting me. I think I almost vomited. I immediately called Katie at work and asked her if she had seen it from the office window. She hadn't, but I was freaking out. I got home and ate some lunch. I couldn't shake the queasy feeling so I decided to lay down for a bit. The phone rang and it was my mom. I have been having some issues with student loans and getting them defered until I can actually get a real job, post college, and pay for them. I had them originally set up so that I could pay on them monthly as I have zero outside financial help and knew the mass amounts of loans would drown me upon graduation. I thought paying monthly would atleast help with the interest some. Well, moving has proved to be quite a burdening expense and in order to continue attending school, I have to drop hours at work. Financial crisis continues. So, Mom was calling to find out if I could defer my payments until after graduation, but for some reason unbeknownst to me, all of my loans are now in my moms name. All the money comes to me, the bills come to me. But they're in her name. So, I can't defer anything, I can't get a forbearance, I can't consolodate...nothing. I'm SOL. I pay more a month on student loan payments than I do on my car payment. UGH! I have also recently switched Health Insurance carriers due to cost. I was paying more in health insurance than I really think my life is worth. Let me get sick...it'll be cheaper than paying for coverage! I know I am wallowing. I need to wallow. I have no idea what in the world I am going to do. I know things will work out, but why in the WORLD does it have to be so dadgum hard to just stay afloat. I am doing my absolute best to be solely independent but I find it harder and harder to do so, and easier and easier to be bitter.

I think I need a vacation. Not from Stillwater, from Life. You know, I completely bypassed the go out, have fun, be a kid phase and went straight from grade school to adulthood. I rarely got in trouble. I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, I didn't sneak out. I had a job by the time I was 15 and have worked ever since. I busted my ass studying in high school so that I could get into college and now, I just want out. I want to go back!! I want the chance to be irresponsible and selfish. I want the chance to milk my parents for money and not have a job. I want the chance to be young and carefree and not have the burdens of my life anymore. I am so tired of always worrying. I can't remember the last time I was just able to relax and have NOTHING in my future that caused me worry or grief. Every step I take that feels like a move forward ends up feeling like I've made a monumental mistake. YAY! I'm in school. Now how to do I pay for this? YAY! I have have a job. Now how do I work around school? YAY! I have my own apartment. Now how do I make ends meet?

I'm just tired. Bear with me...tomorrow will be a new day.
Now, I'm off to babysit for.three.children. *sigh*

Welcome Home

2006-05-23T19:10:00.000-05:00

Today, the dear, dear Cox Cable man came over to make my dreams come true. He set me up with some digital goodness and I am once again on the information superhighway. The digital world is once again at my fingertips. I can once again…breathe. Its sad how addicted to the internet I have become. One week without it at.my.house caused me to nearly succumb to seizures. I had to drive to my mom’s house, people! Drive! For the internet! For sweet, sweet email. I am now sitting in the comfort of my own home writing my very first blog post as a completely independent individual. I am completely thrilled with how things have turned out here. I love that everything has its place and I have even been compulsively cleaning. I am a single gal, who has run the dishwasher three times since being here for one week. Haha! I think my incessant vacuuming has driven away the neighbors. Two have moved out since I got here. Heehee! I think I finally have most things where they will permanently go. Only a few minor details are left undone and those are gradually finding their way into storage.

As I stated in an earlier post, I received my letter from the SPD this week and I am ranked number 5 out of 20 applicants. I am okay with that, honest. Given, there is still a slim, slim chance I will get it, I am banking on the fact that I will not. Therefore, I am applying for student loans as originally planned and I informed my boss this afternoon of my plans to stick around for awhile longer. The look of relief on her face was evident. Mostly in an “I told you so” sort of way. She wanted so badly to say it you could see it in her eyes. The words were hot in her mouth, yearning to break free. I think she may have tasted the tinge of iron as she bit her tongue. () In all honesty, I know she felt bad that I didn’t get it, and she told me she was proud of me for trying. She was even pretty impressed with how highly I ranked, but I think she wanted me to know her exact position on continuing my education. She never thought I’d be able to go to school and work the hours they were wanting. Funny. It seems she hasn’t seen me laugh in the faces of everyone else who told me I’d never do it. Where has she been?

There is not much else to write about at the moment. Atleast nothing that my brain will let me form into a coherent idea. I have spent the last 4 hours or so reading The DaVinci Code. Oh my goodness...do I ever recommend this? YES! It has captivated my entire attention span (which is saying quite a lot) and I am already over 1/3 of the way into it. I know it is a fiction story and that it has raised many questions among people since its conception, but man is it good and does it ever make you think? I bought it at Wal-Mart yesterday for $4. Do yourself a favor and read it. I think I may have finally found a reason to branch away from Harry Potter. haha!

Much love all...

Randomness, Gotta Luv It

2006-05-21T17:05:00.000-05:00

So, Best Friend wasn't able to come to do a killer sinus infection. :(

To pass the time without her, I ran some errands with my mom in the morning and we had breakfast and watched a movie. I really don't recommend Dick & Jane with Jim Carey & Tea Leoni...not really a winner. Kinda bland. I then went home and took the most amazing nap ever. *sigh* I never take naps so this one was truly refreshing. I spent the rest of my day cleaning and attempting to organize what was left of my moving boxes. Edwin & Caitlin came over for a visit and to see the new place. It was really good to see them again. I know it has only been a week, but man, it seems like forever! I have resorted to talking to myself and the cats. And people, that's scary. After they left, they called to let me know I got a letter from the Police Department regarding the job. I drove straight over. I prayed the whole way to their house that God would let me be content with whatever the letter said. I wanted to open it and be completely satisfied with the outcome. It worked. :) I opened the letter to reveal the words of, "You passed the interview process and are ranked number five out of twenty." I am okay with it. A little saddened, sure. But all in all, I'm okay. There is still a VERY slim chance I will get the position, but slim, very slim. I am going to continue with the original plan of working part time now and going to school full time while relying on student loans. Things will work out just as they are meant to. Thank you deeply to all of you who offered your name as a reference as well as your prayers and well wishes. They made a world of difference.

Caitlin met me at the apartment this morning and we went to church together. As always it was a really good sermon. We had to sit in the second row however and I think I may have strained my neck trying to look up and sing the words to the songs. haha! There was a dad there with his little girl and it was the cutest thing EVER. She was dressed up in this frilly little dress with flowers on it. When the song said something about 'children dancing' he would spin her and she would giggle...SO.DADGUM.CUTE.

After church we went and got lunch and then went back to the Ramsey house. It was beyond weird to sit in that house. Everything was different. It felt spacious. ha! Something we definately didn't have with 5 of us living there. THEN, people, I worked out. Yes, I know...surprising. haha! While eating lunch, Cait and I watched E! Entertainment Television and saw all the extreme diets that celebs go on. Rediculous stuff I tell you. I however, just don't want to be a cow. Therefore, Tae-Bo, here I come. I worked out, showered and then decided to clean the bathroom. I know, I am so full of randomness today it's insane.

While cleaning I had my laptop playing some tunes. The shuffle started to play a song my friend Travis had written me when I moved from Illinois to Oklahoma. "I'm not great at goodbye's, so I'll just say so long..." It almost made me cry! While unpacking last night, I came across letters that Clint and Sherene had written me and a sweatshirt Bear let me have. In everything that life has thrown my way, I have never had to wonder one day if I was loved. I have the best friends in the whole world. It made me so homesick to think about it, which is strange because I now call Stillwater home. This is home to me. This is where I have worked so hard to create a life for myself. A job, a home... But to those of you who read this, and even to those of you who may not, please know how much your friendship has meant to me all these years. I moved away in 2001 and I can swear to you a day hasn't gone by that I haven't thought about you. Missed you. To Travis, Nathan, Clint, Brad, Suzanne, Sherene, Drew, Kory and so many more...I love you now, I loved you then, and I will love you always.

After making sure the bathroom was Spic n' Span, I loaded up my laundry and headed to mom's house. I am using her internet because I STILL DON'T HAVE IT AT MY PLACE. For those of you who know me at all...you know this is almost as bad as telling me there will be no more chocolate. No more oxygen. No...more...INTERNET. OMG!! The horror!! Thank God my Mom is still connected to the digital world.

I am going to bring this long winded note to a close and go finish up my laundry.

Have a great week all!!
Love, Liz

Peeing my pants with excitement!!

2006-05-19T13:11:00.000-05:00

The BEST FRIEND (female version!) will be here with my niece tomorrow!!!!!! YAY! SO.FLIPPIN.EXCITED!

Hello Blog People!

2006-05-18T15:44:00.000-05:00

Hello Blogosphere...Well, things they are a changin’...

I haven’t written in quite some time and a lot has gone on. That would be WHY I haven’t blogged in a while. Sitting down to type anything has felt more like a chore than a release as I have been thoroughly exhausted. I moved all last weekend and this week I’ve been working my regular shift and then unpacking every evening. Did I mention that I babysit three kids every Friday night too? Yup, sure do. Great kids though; they’re a breeze.

I am officially moved in and settled into my new place. I LOVE IT! I honestly couldn’t be happier with the way everything turned out. I’m positive I spent way too much money getting it the way I wanted it, but you know what, who cares? I am happy with it and the bills are mine to manage so I don’t care. Everyone needs to splurge on their first place, right? Oh who am I kidding? I’m gonna be in debt forever with this one. Haha! I miss having roommates to some degree, but I am really quite pleased with living alone. I miss Matt who has moved back to Tulsa too. At least Edwin and Caitlin are across town when I miss them. Stinky Matt! Come back. It gets rather quiet at my place, but it is definitely not dull. My cats LOVE the new place and run with more energy than I’ve ever seen. They’re definitely a blessing to have around. My neighbors are all really nice so far. One in particular happens to be mighty good looking and very pleasant...but he’s moving.to.Tulsa. Damn. (He also has a child and smokes...so he was never really in the running.)

The interview for the police department is done and I should know by next week sometime how I ranked among my fellow applicants. I think the interview went well, but honestly, there is no way to know how I did. I got ZERO feedback from the panel. That’s okay though. Whatever happens, happens and I’m content in knowing that it will be for the best. One way, I get a kick ass job that pays well and includes benefits. The other way, I continue working with my friends part time, live off student loans and continue my path towards a Bachelors of Science Degree in Broadcast Journalism/Public Relations. Either way...things will be okay.

I probably mentioned in a previous post that I have joined a church. I am thoroughly happy with that decision. I have started volunteering every other Sunday as part of the Host Team and work as a greeter. I also help to set up for the following service. I will soon be joining a LifeGroup which is sort of like a mini-bible study/fellowship group. It should be fun. Also, I now have a mild crush on a boy who goes to church with me. Mild, very mild. Don’t even know if I really like him yet. Haha! Actually, he works at the church. Good, eh?

Since I was a little girl, I have always been one who wishes on stars. Silly, I know. But old habits die hard. My first real boyfriend used to sit outside with me and teach me the constellations. That boyfriend has since come and gone...many times. Those memories from my past are being resurrected and a part of me wishes they weren’t. They’re coming in the form of contact from the ex-boyfriend. But you know, I have decided that it’s okay to talk to him. It has been almost 6 years since we’ve dated and I have grown up SO much. We are completely different people now and in no way compatible in a relationship sense. Friends, cool. Email buddies, splendid. Boyfriend/Girlfriend, no chance in H**L.

My dear friend Katie woke up this morning with severe abdominal pains and has been diagnosed with kidney stones. Poor baby! I went to the store at the instruction of our boss and bought her every liquid delight I could fine. I got her 3 different kinds of juice, bottled water, Sprite, V8 smoothie, 2 kinds of tea and lemonade. Oh yeah, and some Chocolate covered mint oreos and jell-o. Gotta have the necessities. :) She is feeling a little better thanks to tons of fluids and of course...drugs! I am now sitting at her house keeping her company before a staff meeting. We're watching The Princess Bride. (also reminds me of "the ex", DANGIT!)

I guess that is all for now. Nothing too deep or philosophical today. I'm just glad to be finished moving! :)

Love, Liz

Yes! Yes! Yes!

2006-05-12T14:15:00.000-05:00

Is it sad that I totally want to marry this guy?

Simply Overwhelmed: OxyMORON of the Year

2006-05-11T21:43:00.000-05:00

I know that I truly have very little to complain about. I have been blessed beyond words with so many things and I am definately one who recognizes it. I am, however, completely overwhelmed with the unknown. I am one of those people who doesn't necessarily worry about today, but I will freak the hell out about something a week from now. Lying? YES! I am always worried about something or stressed about something. It is my nature. Without worry, Liz would cease to exist. Here's where the weirdness ensues...I am worried and excited all at the same time, about the same things.

1) I have applied for a new job. I truly love my current one, there are just some things I would LOVE to see change. Ahem...my job being one of them. :) This amazing opportunity has stumbled into my lap. And people, I think I might just have a chance at getting it. I am trying SO hard to not get my hopes up, but I still pray about it daily. I want this. I can't help it, I do.

2) I am moving this week. TO.MY.VERY.OWN.PLACE. This is fan-freakin'-tastic, ya'll. I have never lived on my own and I am SO EXCITED! I loved having roommates, but it is time to make changes. Time to move on. Time to be the independent being I have strived to be since birth. Seriously, I refused to even come out of the womb the easy way. I had to do it myself, backwards. I had to make my own mistakes then and nothing has changed there. Maybe that's what this is all about. Finding myself while trying to 'make myself'. Whow knows? It's late...and I'm pooped.

There's of course, more. However, now isn't the time to unload all the worries. For now, I will simply ask for your prayers and well wishes for the things that are taking place. They will be much appreciated. And regardless of the outcome, I am eternally greatful for this experience and there is DEFINATELY a Plan B. :) G'nite all...much love.

Bring on the Ben & Jerry's

2006-05-03T18:57:00.000-05:00

So how long has it been since I have written anything worth reading? Ohh...quite some time I fear. :)

Here's a rundown on what's been new:

* I broke down and bought an iPod. FABULOUS little device that has rekindled my love for music. Got any new faves? Send 'em my way...i'm looking to branch out.
* Took my last final today. THANK GOD! I couldn't be more happy that they're done, but of course, hindsight is 20/20 and I see now that I should have studied a LOT harder. I am disappointed in myself already and I haven't even seen the grades yet.
* I became a member of my church the Sunday before last. I am THRILLED with my decision and feel refreshingly different now. I am looking into joining a Lifegroup soon and am so excited! I know! Me and new things usually don't mesh...weird.
* I have developed a newfound love for country music. NOT ALL OF IT...but some, I must admit.
* I signed the lease on my new apartment last Monday and am SO EXCITED! Yay! I get to move in the week of Friday the 13th...spooky.
* Found out that the sofa I was supposed to get has been revoked. haha! I now have to look into buying living room furniture. The current decision is to sit on milk crates until I can afford something else.
* I can now speak of the "exciting news" from a previous post as I have confessed to my boss that I have applied for a new job. There is a very good chance I won't get it and I don't want to speak of it too much on here and jinx myself. It is a great opportunity and the whole process has been a learning experience, regardless of the outcome.
* I met a nice guy at church. That's it. We've met. Nothing else as of yet, I'll keep you posted.
* I went to get a poster framed at Hobby Lobby this weekend. The frame I picked out was going to cost $295. EEK! And that was 50% off people!! Needless to say, I chose a different...CHEAPER...frame.
* At this very moment I feel an unexplainable need to cry.
* It feels like Friday, but nope. Bummer. I have to work tomorrow AND sit through a staff meeting where I will be told I am to blame for things I didn't know I could be to blame for. Okay, so I'm mildly exaggerating, but what the heck. This is my blog. :)
* Heard on the radio that Huey Lewis and the News and Chicago will be at the OKC Zoo in June and I REALLY want to go!! Any takers?
* I think I'm getting sick. Allergies...blasted allergies.
* I have the best uncle in the whole world.
* Today is my roommate Caitlin's birthday! HAPPY 22!
* May 5th is my best FEMALE friend Kristen's (hi Drew!) birthday! YAY! HAPPY 24!
* May 5th my friend Sara has her RN pinning ceremony! Good job!
* May 6th is my roommate Matt's birthday! HAPPY 23!
* May 6th is also OSU Graduation...Congrats to Misty, Edwin & Matt!
* I learned that my friend A.J. is going to be a mommy...again! ANOTHER SQUISHY!
* My cousins Will & Joan found out they are going to be the proud parents of a baby boy!! YET ANOTHER SQUISHY!
* My office has the best kitty cat in the whole wide world (don't tell my cats I said that) for adoption and if you're interested you should leave me a message. Tommy wants a rockin' home so no posers aloud.
* Katie brought everyone in the office a Sonic Cherry-Limeade today and it MADE.MY.DAY. That girl rocks my face off. If I got this new job...I'd miss her lots. She's one of those "lifer" type friends though. She's a keeper.
* I have had more than my fair share of caffeinated beverages today and this blog post could very well be proof of that.
* I haven't eaten one healthy thing today.

I think that might actually be all...surprising? I think so. I'll try to keep you better informed now that school is OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!! Come on! Everyone, celebrate with me. WHOORAH!

More photos...

2006-04-29T21:44:00.000-05:00

Too Religious

2006-04-23T11:59:00.000-05:00

I have recently heard through the grapevine that there are some people who no longer read my blog because I have become too "religious" for their liking. haha! To that I say...AMEN! :) It's not that I am a more religious person, I think its that I have finally found a place that lights a fire within my spirit and prompts me to be a better person. I have always been a believer, a spiritual person, but I have finally found a place that feeds me. If there are any people out there who feel that they have been missing something or feel that they would like to give church another try, I highly recommend Lifechurch. I'm not kidding. It has inspired me to make changes in my life and has given me hope for the future in ways I never knew possible. Even if you'd like to give it a try in the privacy of your own home, you can now visit the newest campus on the internet. You will watch the same thing that we see every Sunday.

Today, the questions we asked were "Why are we here? What should I do with my life? Is this all there is? What now?" I have asked myself each of these questions very, very recently and it was comforting to hear a new perspective on it. Basically, I know that it was no accident I was in that church today. It is no accident that I am where I am. I need to work harder on not being successful, but on being significant. I want my life to have purpose so badly, that I have been overlooking the fact that it already does. My purpose may be a small role, but it is a significant one that I am honored to have. I feel sorry for those who don't realize that church doesn't have to be a structured place where you feel guilty everytime you leave. (Believe me, I believed that too.) I wish they could find what I have found, a place where you are truly inspired and uplifted and welcomed. A place where you see that we are forgiven and loved. To those of you who have walked away from it or felt pushed away from it, I hope you realize that you are still loved and there is a place where you can be embraced.

Prom Night 06

2006-04-22T20:17:00.000-05:00

Can you believe it's already that time of year?! PROM! Holy crap. I had so much fun at my prom...SIX YEARS AGO! Daaang...I'm gettin gold. It was an amazing night full of so many memories.

I had the pleasure of taking some photos for my friends daughters as they went to prom tonight. Here are a few, there will be more on the way...

Nuttin' Honey

2006-04-20T21:43:00.000-05:00

There's not a whole lot going on here to blog about these days, but I didn't want to leave my loyal subjects wondering about my whereabouts. Here I sit, fingers poised above the keys, yet no thoughts are with me...what to say? What to say?

I guess I'll just a quick recap and call it a night:

*Matt paid me the money he owed me for groceries. DORY GETS A FULL TANK O' GAS TOMORROW!
*Walked around Boomer with Cait n' Ed...laughed the WHOLE way around.
*Fed up with my job.
*Got told (by a guy) that if he could change one thing about me, that he would make me a guy so he could date me. HECK YES! That is one CREATIVE and unique compliment.
*Watched bits n' pieces of Ace Ventura.
*Downloaded some sweet music. I was surprised to realize just how much I missed music. I listen to the same crap on the radio day in and day out and I miss being in the know.
*Got told I was stunning. :)
*Found out my Drew is coming to see me this JUNE!
*Got some interesting news that I can't share quite yet because I don't know enough details yet.
*Cait and I went throught the "chute" at Blue Cow Burger...don't ask.
*Talked to the Lord of the Land...(my new landlord) and put finalizations on my new casa May 1st.
*The roomies painted pictures for my new casa so I can have a piece of them with me. We debated whether or not to put pieces of hair and eyelashes into the paint...JUST KIDDING.
*My cat is totally chasing his tail right now...and I love it. He's brilliant.

I can't think of anything else right now...what an exciting life I lead, eh? You want to be me. You know it.

You Might be Destined for Greatness

2006-04-17T16:59:00.000-05:00

I am in a really weird mood...kind of sad in a way. I'm not really sure why. I just feel rather down at the moment. Nothing bad has happened...I just need some inspiration or a pick me up. Someone make me a "mix tape".

Found this here and couldn't stop laughing. :)

You might be destined for greatness.
But you’ll never get anywhere without a name. So here’s a handy-dandy set of guidelines for coming up with the right STAR moniker. And just to get the ball rolling, I’ll go first.

Prepare to be riveted…

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME:(first pet and current street)
Joe Ramsey

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME:(grandfather/grandmother on your mother’s side, your favorite candy)
Katherine Reese

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite animal, favorite color)
Cat Green

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, city where you were born)
Katherine Enid

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:(first 3 letters of your last name- last 3 letters of mother’s maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet’s name)
Wei Ier-Fuj

6. JEDI NAME:(middle name spelled backwards, your mom’s maiden name spelled backwards)
Enirehtak Reilloc

7. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(middle name, street you grew up on)
Katherine Ash

8. SUPERHERO NAME:(”The”, your favorite color, the automobile you drive)
The Green Escape

Easter Sunday

2006-04-16T13:04:00.000-05:00

I learned a lot at church today, as I usually do. It was definately an hour well spent. I hope that everyone who stumbles upon SLATS is having a blessed day and spending this Easter with family and loved ones.

Won't you be my neighbor?

2006-04-15T12:45:00.000-05:00

Well folks, it is a beautiful day in the neighborhood! The sun is shining, there is a beautiful breeze, the birds are chirping...What more could you ask for. I got up this AM, got ready and headed to work to pick up the good ole pay check. GOTTA LOVE PAYDAY! I drove around with the windows down and the sun roof open, the shades on (Yes Kristen, I still call them shades and my future is SO bright.) and the radio blaring! I got some interesting looks when I was listening to Metallica "Until it Sleeps" haha! I'm telling you, I have a very eclectic taste in music. :)
Now I am sitting here doing NOTHING and I am loving every minute of it. I'm gonna finish up here with my nothingness and then I'm going to start packing some more stuff for the big move. I think Katie and I are gonna hangout tonight and I'm totally pumped. I miss my Katie-Lady!! :) Have a great day ya'll!

P.S. I found this picture at my mom's house yesterday and I thought you might like to see that I was full of attitude...even then. And check out that sofa!! Holy crap, that's VINTAGE! :)

Maybe it's Me

2006-04-14T10:36:00.000-05:00

I am in the crabbiest mood!! Okay, not really, I have been worse. This is just a weird mood where I want to be alone, yet I'd like some company. haha! I don't know what it is to be exact, but it seems like there are things that are getting on my last nerve today. SERIOUSLY.

1. We have recently learned that President G-Dub will be gracing out city for the commencement ceremonies of Oklahoma State University. Now, I HATE all things political so please bear mind that whatever I say here is in no way meant to be for OR against the president. Now, to my point. There are a number of people who are rather miffed that the President was chosen to be the speaker and even some who are planning to protest. Protest! WTF?! Seriously, I understand that people have their opinions and whatnot and that they want to make a statement...yeah yeah yeah, I get it...but don't ruin someones graduation because of it. Go to DC, go where ever you want to and state your opinion, I'm all for Freedom of Speech, but don't discount the fact that some people are just happy to be graduating and would like to get through the day without traffic congestion, tension and protestors.

2. Please, for the love of Pete, don't use "There are soldiers fighting and dying for my rights to freedom..." etc. as your excuse to be obnoxious and have a blatant disregard for common courtesies and the people around you. I can assure you, that particular soldier you speak of would be rather salty to discover that he is watching his brothers in arms die so that you can get drunk and disordery at a restaurant without having to take any responsibility for your actions. Go ahead, tell him you appreciate all he's doing for you, I'm sure he'd love to hear it.

3. Lastly, please think about the way you look at or speak to people. If you're in a bad mood, deal with it. You don't have to take it out on anyone. I, for one, choose to blast my anger at the anonymous void that is the internet. You should try it, it feels GREAT! All I'm saying is that those of you who feed on the craft of making people feel inferior, stupid, worthless or unwelcome are merely reflecting your dissatisfaction with yourself. I hope you find happiness along the path of life and you learn how to share joy instead of contempt.

This is where I end my surly mood, grab a pint of Ben & Jerry's and go work on my laundry. Much love!! I'm all better now. I'm sure I'll get some heated emails for that one...but DAMN, PMS is hard. :) Have a great day ya'll!

New Look, Same Great Smartass!

2006-04-13T22:34:00.000-05:00

I decided that good ole SLATS needed a new look for the impending summer. In doing so, I have lost a number of the links that were on my list. So, if you miss seeing yours on here or you never had yours on here and want to, drop me a line and I'll hook you up. :)

Hot! Hot! Hot!

2006-04-13T18:37:00.000-05:00

So yeah...the thermometer in our living room reads that it is 94 degrees in here and 125 outside. Not gonna lie, that's dadgum HOT! Okay, so the actual gizmo thats reading that is back at our old house somewhere and we have no idea if its in direct sunlight or not...assuming it is. :)

Seriously, it's so blasted hot in here that the cats are passed out on the rug like sacks of potatos and I'm sweating profusely. I would turn on the air, but yeah, that would be the easy option. ha!

Going to give you the random highlights of the day.

*Got talked down to and made to feel majorly insignificant.
*Got told I'm someone's hero. :)
*Got told that I am such a good writer, I make the other people in class look bad. HOOrah!
*Walked through the sprinklers on campus and had this unbelievable urge to squish my toes in the greenest grass I have ever seen. Seriously. OMG. Totally didn't do it though.
*Found out my good friend Brent is having a job interview this coming Tuesday! YAY! Everyone say your prayers that he gets it, okay? I am selfish and don't want him too because they would move further away, but then again...yeah, I want them to get it.
*Got told I have the most amazing eyelashes. Random? Yes. Flattering? Most definately.
*Contemplated going on a walk again. (Walked around Boomer Lake two nights in a row!)Then I remembered, oh yeah...HOT! HOT! HOT! Nevermind.
*Realized that I am so unbelievably happy for a very dear friend of mine who has the most flabbergastingly amazing boyfriend. Seriously, if you knew all the nice things this guy has done, you would kidnap and clone the little bastard. He made her a mixed tape ya'll...a MIXED TAPE. Totally 80's, totally cheesey, totally romantic beyond words. In addition to that, he's funny beyond words and completely understands "Pickles? You're trying to molest me via drive through."

I have nothing more to say. Have a great day all!

Honda

2006-04-12T21:07:00.000-05:00

This is freakin' awesome...

Accidental Meeting

2006-04-11T23:43:00.000-05:00

This is the final creative writing piece for my class. The only suggestion given to me so far has been to encorporate some sort of nervous tick into my main character that she does when she is worried. Any suggestions?

“Where is he? Why hasn’t he called? This isn’t like him…”
Shay paced back and forth across the living room rug, leaving a worn path in the cream berber. It was 9:30 now. A full hour and a half past Alex’s normal arrival time. The routine was always the same. He’d get off work at 7:00, call Shay as he walked to his truck, tell Britton goodnight as Shay held the phone to her ear and then he’d drive home. Same routine for the past six months. But tonight, tonight was different.
269-5555 Shay dialed his cell phone number again. She lost count at call number seventeen. “Hey, this is Ale…” She slammed the phone down before the recording could finish. She knew it by heart. Her anger was gradually turning into deep, shaking fear and worry. She had already tried to call him at work, but the office was already closed down for the night. She had even gone so far as to call the local hospital to see if anyone fitting his description had been admitted. Shay wasn’t normally one to worry so much, but Alex was definitely not one to break routine. She sat down on the sofa and rested her chin on her hands. The sparkle of her wedding band caught her eye. She began to nervously spin the ring round and round her finger. “Seriously Alex! For the love of Pete, just call me!” She slammed her hands on her knees and stood up in one swift, aggressive motion.
10:00pm Two hours late. Britton was crying and restlessly rolling in her crib in the next room. The baby monitor buzzed a soft, gently hum. The ceiling fan whirred and clicked. “Alex was supposed to have fixed that last weekend.” Shay walked to Britton’s door and peaked her head in. Her beautiful daughter stood up and raised her chubby arms in the air. The instant she was lifted from the crib, her head found its way to Shay’s shoulder. She burrowed down and fell back into a soft slumber. Her tears had subsided and were replaced by the sounds of her breathing. The beating of Shay’s heart was so rapid, she was sure it would wake the baby. As she stooped to lay her back in the crib, the door bell rang.
Ding.
Dong.
Ding.
Those three melodious notes that normally rang the arrival of a beloved friend and visitor, suddenly held a somber, threatening tone. Shay pulled the cover up over Britton’s back, pulled the door shut behind her and made her way to the front door. Her heart raced. She reached for the doorknob with a trembling hand and pulled open the large oak door. Words were not spoken. A glance of the figure that darkened her doorstep was enough to drop her to her knees. Her entire body was overcome with violent shakes. Her fingers touched her lips and the tears began to flow as hard as the rain outside. She turned her face towards the gentleman that was now standing inside the door. His hair was salt n’ pepper grey and his eyes were warm and friendly. He crouched beside her, and with his grandfatherly hand, pushed the now damp hair from her face.
“Ma’am. I’m Officer Mitchell. Ma’am?”
Shay’s cries grew stronger as Officer Mitchell helped her to her feet and then escorted her to the sofa. She collapsed into the cushions and made her best effort to regain her composure.
“What happened? Where is my husband?”
“Ma’am…there has been an accident. I’m so sorry. The roads were slick and we have reason to believe the other driver had been drinking. He was flown to Mercy Hospital, but there was nothing that could be done.”
They sat together on the sofa for what seemed like hours, but only a few moments had passed when Officer Mitchell stood, poised to leave 7 Penn Brook Lane.
“Ma’am, is there someone you would like me to call?”
“Yes. Call my husband and tell him I’m not laughing. Tell him to come home. And stop calling me Ma’am. My name is Shay.”
Officer Mitchell squatted in front of Shay. He took her hands in his and once again wiped the hair from her face. Looking deep into her sorrowful eyes he said, “Shay, I have lived many, many years on this Earth, and have come to learn that I know very little about life. I meet lovely people like you every day and wonder why in God’s name do bad things happen to such good people? Then I tell myself that faith will guide me. Faith will guide you. I know this may not mean anything now, but I hope you hear me when I say that your husband is not gone. He’s merely gone ahead.”
With that said he patted her hand and made his exit. He left what was once a home full of warmth and laughter. He left a woman, broken on the sofa.

Tattoos?

2006-04-09T23:02:00.000-05:00

Cast your vote here!

MusicalMeme

2006-04-06T09:51:00.000-05:00

Answer the following questions using only the song titles from a chosen musician/band.

Musician I chose: Michael Buble

Are you male or female? You Don't Know Me

Describe yourself. Dream a Little Dream

How do some people feel about you? I've Got You Under My Skin

How do you feel about yourself? Can't Help Falling in Love

Describe your ex: Kissing a Fool

Describe your current significant other: How Do You Mend a Broken Heart (Haha! As you can tell, I don't have a Significant Other)

Describe where you want to be: Home

Describe how you live: Nice n' Easy

Describe how you love: Fever

What would you ask for if you had just one wish? You'll Never Know

Share a few words of wisdom: You'll Never Find Another

Now say goodbye: That's All

Oooh...Who shall I tag?
I think Lil Red needs to do this, and Brent. Oh and Edwin too! How about Amanda and Kristen? And Nicotine! Yes, yes...that'll do. Oh, who am I kidding?! I want everyone to do this! DO IT!

Buy Me

2006-04-05T21:54:00.000-05:00

Buy your ekwisdom.blogspot.com t-shirt here. ha! For real! I make ZERO profit off this, I just designed it. Make your own, it's muy fun.

My Life: The Soundtrack

2006-04-03T20:45:00.000-05:00

Opening credits: Sweet Home Alabam: Lynyrd Skynyrd
Waking up: This Could Be Heaven: Seal
Falling asleep: Goodnight, Elizabeth: The Counting Crows
Average day: It Ain't Over til It's Over: Lenny Kravitz
First date: I Don't Know How I Got By: Edwin McCain
Falling in love: Isn't it Romantic: Tony Bennett
Love scene: Secret: Maroon 5
Fight scene: Vitamin: Incubus
Breaking up: My Favorite Mistake: Sheryl Crow
Getting back together: One More Day: Diamond Rio
Secret love: Save the Last Dance for Me: Michael Buble
Love Lost: Why Can't this be Love: Van Halen
Life's okay: What a Wonderful World: Louis Armstrong
Mental breakdown: Sailors and Saints: Dashboard Confessional
Driving: Inside Out (Beautiful Oblivion): Eve6
Learning a lesson: Only God Can Explain: Kid Rock
Deep thought: Deep Enough to Dream: Chris Rice
Flashback: Canon in D: Pachebel
Partying: Sharp Dressed Man: ZZ Top
Happy dance: Margaritaville: Jimmy Buffet
Regreting: When Can I See You Again: Babyface
Long night alone: Somewhere Out There: An American Tale Sdtrk.
Death scene: In This Very Room: Drew Quintero
Closing credits: Life is a Highway: Tom Cochran

"Ouiser"

2006-04-03T18:27:00.000-05:00

Narration and "voice" assignment from Creative Writing, OSU.

“COME ON! You stupid piece of junk!”
You would have thought I was maneuvering an aircraft carrier, circa 1912 down I-35 this morning; hull scraping across the pavement and grinding its way between traffic. But no. Aircraft carrier she is not, 1962 Chevy Nova she is. Why in God’s name my good-for-nothin’ husband had to leave me with this olive green hunk of junk is beyond me. He bought this contraption the year we were married, despite my telling him he was an IDIOT. “Ford’s the way to go, you moron! Haven’t I taught you anything?!” Well, I apparently hadn’t taught him anything because two months after we were married this hideous beast resided in my front yard; right between my azaleas and the crab grass. I am far from quiet as I make the turn at highway 33. I send a spray of gravel across both lanes of traffic along with a stream of bright orange sparks as my bumper comes into contact with the shoulder. A thick plume of black smoke is being emitted by the tail pipe as well as a comparable plume from the driver side window. I haven’t been able to kick the habit for years. At this point, with 55 years of smoking under my belt, I have fewer days left than cigarettes. Why stop now? No use making things any harder I always say. Easy roads, take the easy roads.
I flick my still lit cigarette from the open window and take a good long look at the old hand before me. “When did that happen?!” Just yesterday I was a young, petite thing with raven hair and bright eyes. Now I’m lucky if I can pluck all the raven hairs from my chin before I head off on my daily errands. The few friends I have in this world think I’m a crotchety old bitty…and they’re right. I’m as rusty in appearance as my automobile and I’m sure it has a lot to do with my perpetual sour mood. On a number of occasions they have affectionately referred to me as Ouiser Boudreaux, the lovably obnoxious character from Steel Magnolias. They tell me that my eyes are permanently squinted from years of looking down my nose at people and that if I’m not careful, they are bound to go crossed. Remembering this comment, I lean forward to take a peek at my reflection in the rearview mirror. I tug at the crow’s feet on either side of my eyes and let out a grumble. “As Ouiser would say, ‘I’m not crazy; I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!”
I pulled into the long drive of 7 Penn Brook Lane. Children were running
through the yard, giggling and playing. “This is it,” I tell myself. “This is my hell.” I kick open my car door and pull my larger-than-last year self from the seat. I turn to slam the door and took one last look at my reflection in the clouded window. “Oh, heavens! Would you look at this hair?! Blasted car!” I give the tire a swift kick and then curse at it for causing me pain. “Why couldn’t my good-for-nothin’ husband have left me with a Caddie?! With some air conditioning for Pete’s sake!” I had turned the ignition off already, but moments pass before the car finally dies. Putt, Putt, Putt…BANG! The kids squeal and giggle. I turn to peer at them through the newly emitted cloud of black fog. “Watch it wee ones…Ouiser's here.” They scurry like cockroaches. I cough a deep, smoker’s cough, spit off the side of the porch, pop a breath mint, and walk through the front door.
“Mrs. Fletcher. Hi, how are you?”
“Terrible. I’ve been to at funeral today, Sweetheart. How do you think I’d
be? And I’ve got so much static in my hair, I can just about pick up everything except money and men. Where’s my niece? And why aren’t there napkins on this table? You need napkins when you’re having guests. Shay? Honey, where are the napkins?
Shay?!”

Poetic Heart

2006-04-02T22:22:00.000-05:00

On more than one occasion, I have been told I have a poetic heart. By this, I think they meant that I can see things, and describe them in a way that is purely mine. Purely simple, yet complex, all in the same profound swoop. Needless to say, I am not one of these people who finds myself poetic. I merely make an attempt to unravel the thoughts that wind their way through my brain...each.and.every.day.

As I layed here in bed tonight, (Yes, I got up out of my warm, comfortable bed so that I could blog this all down.) I began to remember things I had seen or heard today that made me think. Things that made me write in my head.

The first thing was sitting in church this afternoon and listening to the pastor answer the timeless question of, "Why doesn't God answer my prayers?" I absorbed his words, because it was something I had been needing to hear, but didn't realize. I am one of those people who prays and prays and prays for the things I want or need, but then oftentimes, doesn't realize that those very things I pray for, are the things I already have. As the Sheryl Crow tune goes, "It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got." Today, Pastor Craig said that many of us, himself included, pray for things and then expect that we are going to receive exactly what we prayed for, not even aware that we got more than we were expecting. I was laying here tonight, really thinking about what it was that I want. What is it that I pray for? Then it hit me, I have that very thing in abundunce. My life is overflowing with the things I desire, it's my own fault that I hadn't been seeing them in all their forms. I have been blessed with the ability to see things in a way that others cannot. Perhaps it is with this blessing in mind that I have had the love for words and pictures bestowed upon me. I appreciate little things, such as watching a father today in church, reach out and hold his little girls hand. Watching a young couple scoot closer together during prayer and bow their heads together. Hearing a huge gust of wind sail through the trees and awaken the leaves resting on the ground. Feeling a cool breeze through an open window. I am so thankful for all these little moments. Yet I wouldn't be me, if I didn't say that these little moments make me oddly sad. Though I am surrounded by a vast array of answered prayers and of course, a few unanswered ones, I am still left wondering what else is out there. When will I discover my one true purpose? I guess that's just one of the answers that will be shown to me in its own due time. For now, I will make my attempt at not second guessing everything I have ever done, or thought. I will continue to pray and know that He can, He will, and even if He doesn't...I'll still believe, for those unanswered ones might be exactly what I've been searching for.

This may not have been poetic, but just as poetry speaks to people individually and uniquely...so does prayer.

Meme #890037483...

2006-04-02T21:32:00.000-05:00

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 24 and find line 5:
"All right."
Thrilling, I know. ha! It's a novel called A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. It's a true survivors story, about a man who was as low as a person could ever possibly be, and fought his way back to the top.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what do you find?
A cream and green paisley pillow my roommate made.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Gray's Anatomy

4. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
television...and the wind blowing through the trees, rustling the leaves on the ground, touching the earth.

5. When did you last step outside?
I haven't felt too well today, so the last time I was outside was when I went to church this afternoon. I am sitting next to the open window getting my dose of fresh air however.

6. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My kitties curled up in peaceful slumber on the sofa.

7. What are you wearing?
yellow capris and a grey Phi Eta Sigma (honor society) t-shirt

8. Did you dream last night?
I'm sure I did, but I couldn't tell you what it was about. Although I do remember faint images of me hitting a guy over the head with a baseball bat. Seriously. I need help. :)

9. When did you last laugh?
During church. I laugh every Sunday.

10. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A Marilyn Monroe poster, an abstract guitar poster, Photomosaic Van Gogh Starry Night Poster, floral print, 5 paintings done by Yours Truly and my wonderful roommates. Surprisingly enough, it fits. Eclectic = Creative

11. Seen anything weird lately?
I saw some very interesting attire at church today. You'd be surprised what some people deem appropriate. Not just for church, appropriate in general.

12. What do you think of this quiz?
I enjoy these.

13. What is the last film you saw?
Space Camp, circa 1986. Great flick that took me back to when my brother and I were kids. Watched it today.

14. Four people who you’d like to complete this survey:
Anyone who'd like too...

You Got That Right

2006-04-01T17:57:00.000-06:00

Tidbits

2006-03-31T14:34:00.000-06:00

1. Who was your first prom date? I only went to prom my senior year and my date was one of my best friends in the whole world, Nathan Welsh. He picked me up in his granddads black Cadillac, took me to dinner...everything. Best date I ever had.

2. Who was your first roommate(s)? Christen Parnell, Caitlin Foster, Edwin Lee and Matt Perrier

3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? This will make my dad and grandpa happy! haha! Both times I ever got drunk were with my Uncle Mark (rum n' coke) when I was 17 and my Aunt Christine the very next night (screwdrivers). haha!!

4. What was your first job? Holiday slave labor at The Buckle when I was 16.

5. What was your first car? First one I drove was mom's 90-something Honda Accord. First one I bought myself was a 00 Toyota Corolla.

6. When did you go to your first funeral? I've been to way too many to count, sadly. I believe my first was when I was really little. It was in Watonga, OK and I believe it was a great grandparent.

7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? I moved to Quincy, IL when I was 13 and moved to Watonga, OK when I was 18. Moved to Stillwater, OK the same year and don't plan on moving again for a LONG time!

8. Who was your first grade teacher? Mrs. Wilson. She was also my 2nd grade teacher.

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Orlando, FL with my family. Best vacation ever!!

10. When did you sneak out of your house for the first time, who was it with? I never snuck out of my house. The doors were too creaky. haha! I snuck out of friends houses before, but not to do anything bad. We'd just all meet and the end of the block and sit and talk. Seriously!

11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them? My very first best friend was Kristen Cunningham!! We met in pre-school in Enid, OK. We are even better friends today! Seriously, I drive to see her and her family almost every weekend. haha!

12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents house? Moved into a house with four other people. LOVED IT!

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? I usually don't call anyone to be quite honest. If its that bad, I just sit at home and mope. ha!

14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsman? I have never been a bridesmaid. I have been a greeter, cake cutter, program handerouter, scripture reader, guest book attendant and candid "behind the scenes" photgrapher.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Get in the shower.

16. How was your first date? Oh man...I don't even remember my first date. I'm assuming it was probably with Kory, but I don't even remember.

17. First tattoo or piercing? First piercing was my ears when I was seven, then again when I was 14. I got my upper ear done when I was 16 I think and I have never pierced anything BUT my ears. I have 5 total. First tattoo was when I was 18 and 2nd was when I was 23.

18. First celebrity crush? I honestly don't remember. I guess probably Johnny Depp. OH! Or maybe Uncle Jesse from Full House! haha!

19. Age of first kiss? however old I was summer after 9th grade. Eeeew...

20. First crush? I think his name was Tyler but I dont' remember. It was in kindergarten!

21. First girlfriend/boyfriend? Curtis Quillin- 6th grade

22. First word? I have no idea. I'd have to ask my parents. Dad?

23. First broken bone and when? Have never (knock on wood) actually broken a bone. I minorly cracked my elbow in high school when I got run over by a bass drum in band. haha!

24. First cd? Ace of Base

25. First favorite movie? Parent Trap

26. Age you were the first time you ever got drunk? 17

27. First class you ever failed? I have never failed a class. Got my first C my senior year of high school. Blech. Pre-Calculus. That was a bad year.

28. First favorite food? I LOVED cheese. Seriously. I'd eat cheetos, cheese sandwiches, mac n' cheese, sliced cheese. I didn't care. Now...lactose intolerant! What a bitch!

29. First detention? 3rd grade, Enid OK. Mrs. O'Donnell caught me talking in the hall. Funny story. 10 years later she walks into the store I was working at in Stillwater and she REMEMBERED ME. Freaky.

30. First suspension? Senior year of high school. It was only a half day of in school suspension!! haha! I slapped my ex boyfriend in the hallway when I found out he was cheating on me. :) SO worth it. :)

I tag: (post your answers in the comments section if you want)
Kristen Shay
Lil-Red
Caitertot
Nicotine Jones
Dad (YMAN)

Oh, ears! Please fail me now...

2006-03-30T16:51:00.000-06:00

What is the weirdest thing you overheard today, that you desperately wish you hadn't?

Me? Okay, so I was walking to the Student Union to pay my BLASTED BURSAR BILL so that I can enroll next semester. As I was crossing the road I ended up walking in front of two girls. I have no idea what the context of their conversation was and whether or not this was a joke but...eeeewww...

Girl: I'm kind of a whore. I'm working on my freshman 15, and I'm not talking pounds.

Like I said...Eeeewww...

IQ

2006-03-30T11:39:00.000-06:00

Congratulations, Elizabeth!
Your IQ score is 127

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Word Warrior. This means you have exceptional verbal skills. You can easily make sense of complex issues and take an unusually creative approach to solving problems. Your strengths also make you a visionary. Even without trying you're able to come up with lots of new and creative ideas. And that's just a small part of what we know about you from your test results.

This was fun! Wanna do it too? Go to www.tickle.com.

The Storm

2006-03-30T11:24:00.000-06:00

*another piece for Creative Writing, OSU

The Storm

The storm in the heart rages on
like a warning beacon to the lonely.
Beware!
For those who are the most forlorn
are the most likely to be captured.

The storm in the mind rages on
like a debate gone madly awry.
Tread lightly!
For those who are quick to speak
often lose their own meaning.

The storm in the soul rages on
like a desperate cry for attention.
Use caution!
For those who stand for nothing
are liable to fall for anything.

Thank you

2006-03-29T22:38:00.000-06:00

Thank you Jay Ba. & Jay Bo., for the encouraging compliments and constructive criticism. It means more than you know. :)

Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!

2006-03-28T22:26:00.000-06:00

I am seriously starting to have a panic attack here. It has hit me just how hard this next semester is going to be.
1) I am moving out on my own.
2) I'm dropping from full time to part time status at work due to the demands of my class schedule and the uncompromising work schedule.

Here's where I start to panic. Moving is going to cause an incredible hike in my rent. From approximately $300 a month to closer to $500. Dropping from full time is going to mean my boss revokes my insurance suppliment meaning that I am now responsible for all 100%, $200, of it (if I want to keep it). This also means that I will no longer be receiving my scholarship funded by my boss which has equaled approximately $800 per school year. Not to mention the simple fact that my paycheck will be dramatically smaller and there will be no more personal time and paid vacation days.

Is college worth this? How in the world do people do this on their own? I hate to complain, because I know there are people out there who have it worse than I, but I tell you what, this is damn hard. I pay all my own bills, I have a nice car, I have a retirement savings plan (which now that I think about it, may be taken away too). I have many things for which to be thankful for, but it seems that all those things are slowly but surely being threatened by my quest for higher education. What the crap?

Weekend Cont...

2006-03-27T14:48:00.000-06:00

I promised to continue the story, so here goes.

Saturday continues...
Brent, Kristen and I left Pipeline Tattoo Company around 7:45 PM and began our treck back home to El Reno. I drove, as Brent had driven the entire way. We took the directions provided to us by Adrian the Tattoo Guru and made our way back to our designated highway. After driving a ways, we began to get the eery feeling we were headed the wrong way. Kristen, as usual, (haha!) had to pee so we pulled over at the nearest gas station, fueled up on Cheetos and caffeine and requested directions. We were in fact headed the correct direction and were given an accurate description of the way to get back to I-35 North as quickly and simply as possible. We did exactly what the lovely little gas station man told us to do and we SAW A SIGN!, imagine that, that said I-35. We all said our "Thank you Lord's" and continued our journey. About 30 or so minutes later, we hit some pretty intense traffic and literally feared for our lives. Kristen made Brent hold her hand because the traffic was freaking her out so bad. There were ass holes on crotch rockets zipping in and out of traffic and on numerous occasions we were greated with some mighty close calls. At one point I said, "Can you guys believe this isn't even Dallas traffic? This is just outskirts of Dallas traffic." Yeah, I was wrong. I drove straight through Dallas. Oh yes, no lie. We saw another sign...yes, another...these lovely Texans spent money on two whole signs!! Guess what it said? 635 SOUTH. Oh, blaudy hewl...How in the CRAP did we end up on 635 South? Long story, short, we ended up in Garland, Texas and had to turn ourselves around...again. We drove a loooong way out of our way and ended up not getting home until after midnight. I hate being lost more than anything, but I couldn't have been lost with better people and I have never had so much fun while being so scared.

Sunday:
Picture time! My favorite part of any blog experience.
Sunday we took Easter pictures with the ever lovely Miss Reagan and her sweet cousin, Nash. Here is where all the eggs we dyed came in to play. After all the excitement of taking pictures of children and squirmy puppies...I took a nap. :) We then went to Wal-Mart to print a few copies and I headed home. I had great music on the CD player and a magnificent sunset at my back. I did my usual pondering and meditating all the way home and enjoyed the peaceful time alone. I watched a little Grey's Anatomy and it was off to bed. It was a great weekend, but I was ready for it to be over. haha!

Today, not as good. We had a patient die today and we had another come in on emergency. The phone rang off the hook too! I love my job, I love my job, I love my job...

Have a great day all!

Bill & Ted Have Nothing on Me

2006-03-26T20:54:00.000-06:00

*Revised*

So this has been a very interesting weekend. I shall recap...brace thy selves.

Friday: I packed the night before for the weekend, as I was staying the night in El Reno and then getting up early to make the drive to Euless, Texas. I got up as usual and went to work like any ordinary day. I ran home after work to grab Matt's PikePass (he's such a doll for letting me borrow it) and then stopped by Sonic to grab a road drink. I got on the road and made my way to Bethany, OK. I stopped there to pick up my niece (Reagan) who was at school with her mom. She was sleeping peacefully when I got there, but woke up long enough to realize I wasn't her mom. She wasn't all too happy with that situation until we got on the road and we started singing. :) She sang, "Melmo, melmo, mamamamamama..." most of the way. She is such an absolute doll. I LOVE HER! We made it to El Reno where we hung out until her Daddy and Mimi got home. It was a wonderfully, splendid time between friends but we were both ready to see some more people. (We were running out of things to sing about.) :) After Kristen got home from work, we stayed up late dying Easter eggs...(actually, Kristen did most of it.) and then Brent and I worked on designing him a tattoo. That's right...we were creating a tattoo for Brent with his baby girls initials in it. RJR. How sweet!

Saturday: Rise and Shine! Bright and early we rose to a beautiful day. We dressed for the wedding we would be attending and went to breakfast at Sid's Diner. There was a rather good looking older gentleman sitting behind us that Kristen and I immediately noticed. He was cute, until he spoke. JERK! Holy crap. I'm not 100% sure I can even accurately depict how vile I find this man, and I don't even know him. He spoke of how his woman should be, "Greatful she has a good man who works hard." He described how when he got home and his boys were home, her place was there, making it comfortable for him while he "rested" and that she should have dinner on the table and the laundry done with no complaints...yadda, yadda, yadda. OH I WAS SO CLOSE TO THROWING MY SPOON AT HIM! Lucky for him, Reagan was playing with it at the time. :) We left Sid's and took Reagan to a friend of the family's to stay the day. We got her situated and got on the road, heading South. Euless or Bust. The trip was a very enjoyable one! We played lots of random music and sang the whole way. We told stories, discussed deep and meaningful issues, some not so deep and meaningful issues and laughed a whole, whole lot. If its possible, I love these people more and more everytime I see them. We left in plenty of time and we made INCREDIBLE time, therefore, our first order of business was to look for a tattoo parlor. :) We realized quite quickly that TEXAS SUCKS. Yes, I said it. Texas is the WORST place in the world!! There is not a valid sign ANYWHERE in the dadgum state and because of this we made our way between FOUR towns in the matter of half an hour. And not one of this lovely villas was the town we were looking for. We backtracked, we circled, we finally.found. After calling two people, stopping for directions at least three times and finally finding a nice, strapping frat boy who hit on my married friend...we found the golf course. In the words of Kristen, "We have pastures and cows to seperate our towns, you people have STOP SIGNS." We finally arrived at a beautiful manicured course, with some beautifully manicured people on it. The bride was gorgeous, the attendants were ravishing, and I couldn't have been more jealous. :) I was greener than the grass. Kristen and I hung out for a bit, watched the beautiful ceremony that lasted maybe 20 minutes, sat and had a beer and then called Brent to come and get us. We had a pressing engagement...a tattoo needed to be born. Okay, so that's not all that happened. I found out my Ryan is engaged. Ryan. The sweet little kid who lived next door to me for years. The little boy who I loved like a little brother, is engaged to be married. To a girl I don't know. A girl I have not yet approved of. *sigh* Then, I was seated next to a VERY goodlooking man at the wedding and WOW did he ever smell handsome. No words were spoken, so I had no idea until we sat down at the reception together, that I was not the persuasion he seeked. Very lovely man, who sought another very lovely man. :( So sad. We left the wedding and went on another excursion to find a tattoo shoppe. We found Pipeline Tattoo Company in Euless, Texas and it was pretty dadgum sweet. Brent's tattoo guru, Adrian, was a wiz and took our design and made it a reality. Here are some photos from the weekend...more will come, because I haven't even told you about the REST of Saturday (Yes, there is more!) and Sunday! Such an insane weekend!! Much love, Liz