Tuesday, December 19, 2006

"What is your current dating situation...?"

Today has been a good day. I woke up at a decent time after a good nights sleep, ate breakfast, watched a rerun of Home Improvement, did the dishes, straightened the living room...you know, the basics. I did some piddly things around the house before I took a shower and got ready for the day. I went to lunch with a dear, sweet lady who was/is a client at the place I used to work. We sat at the restaraunt for 3 hours just talking and it was really nice. I hadn't sat and had an uninteruppted conversation with another person in a loooong time. She told me if she ever had a daughter, she hoped she would have been like me. That was SO nice.

I then ran to the grocery store to buy some goodies for our work get together tomorrow night. I already purchased everything I needed last week, but I was so exhausted by the time I got off work and went to Wal-Mart, that I forgot about the groceries in my car and went in the house to bed. It was 75 degrees that day. Meat and cheese trays don't last in a locked car in 75 degree weather for eight hours. Oops. So I purchased more, putting myself into the "overdrawn" side of life. Damnit. On top of the fact that I was cringing the whole time I was writing the check, I was breaking out into hives for the mere act of being in Wal-Mart. To those of you that don't know/understand my hatred for Wal-Mart and all things that resemble a Wal-Mart cart...be thankful...be oh, so thankful. I left however, without having harmed one.single.solitary person. And actually, I left the store smiling. I'm not kidding! Me! Smiling at Wal-Mart. There was this sweet, round, black woman sitting outside the store with her Salvation Army bucket and bell...singing the most beautiful hymns. She put such a smile on my face. Had I not just written my way into debt...again...I would have given her all I had, and then some. She is the Christmas spirit people have been missing. (including myself)

After my grocery run, I went to the home of the kids I babysit for. I took them all a little gift and it was truly amazing how perfect each one was for each child. Their faces lit up brighter than their Christmas tree! Donnie (who is only 3 I might add) turned to me and said, "Do you have more for us, Liz?" I thought his mom was going to KILL HIM! haha! Or crawl behind the sofa and never come out. She was so embarassed! :) I found it hysterical, but know if it were my own kid I would have reacted the same way. I went back a few hours later to watch Donnie while his parents and sisters went to a gymnastics meet for Lauren, the oldest. He loves to play hide-n-seek until you've been hidden for approximately two seconds and he hasn't found you yet.
"Liz?...Liiiiiz?...LIIIIIZZZZZ????!!!! Where are you?!?! I need to tell you sumfin!!"

"I'm right here, D, it's okay."

"Oh, Liiiiiz...don't hide in that spot!"

haha! He's so cute. A little later he was playing with my cell phone; taking pictures of himself and singing into the memo recorder. I have a permanent recording of his three year old voice singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and "I love you Liz. A wholewholewhole lot and I want to play with you andreadwithyouandtakepicturesonyourphoneandloveyouforeverandever." His sentence got faster and faster, higher and higher pitched and more run together as he saw his time was running out. haha! Oh it just makes me smile! I love those kids!

But now we get to the reason I titled this here blog, "What is your current dating situation...?" I was standing in my kitchen, working on some holiday stuff when my phone rang. I picked it up and this sweet little voice says,
"Liz? Hi! It's Kayla!" (First off, for the record, I don't know a single person named Kayla.) "I'm calling from *insert name of cheesey dating service here* and you signed up for a free trip at the fair, remember?!"

"Yeah, sorry Kayla, but no...I don't remember."
(Again, for the record, I don't even remember going to the FAIR, let alone signing up for anything.)

"Well that's okay, cause let me tell you about our service! We'll give you two free messages from great, safe singles when you subscribe to our service! Isn't that great?!"

"Um, sure."
(And yes, she said "safe" singles. Like there's a dating service for just the scary ones!)

"So let me ask you this, Liz, what is your current dating situation like?" (This is where I begin laughing hysterically and the poor girl completely forgets her dialogue. Apparently she doesn't get laughed at all that often. I try to stop laughing, but it's just not working...)

"I'm sorry *giggle*, but to answer your question, *giggle* it's non-existant. I'm not sure *giggle* it can be revived."

"Oh, okay, thanks anyway."

**Click** I've lost Kayla. She didn't even make a feeble attempt at sacrificing her sales pitch. She heard the hopelessness in my voice. haha! Funny? Sure! Pathetic? You betcha!!

On that note, I'm going to go scrub my bathroom. Gotta love the single life!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Feeling a little...OMG!

Feeling a little...OMG!
I'm feeling a little...OMG! at the moment. For those of you who aren't computer lingo literate, that means I'm freakin' the F**K out!

Okay, so not quite that bad, but yes, I'm a little panicky deep down inside. Last night on the way to work I started feeling quite short of breath. I chalked it up to the mocha drink I was consuming as it also felt like my heart was about to beat out of my chest. I drank a few sips and ended up giving the rest to a coworker. I figured a coronary on the 2nd week of work might not go over well. After about an hour and a half of what I would call "prenatal" breathing, I finally went home to grab my inhaler. When I couldn't find it, I decided I better stop at the ER on my way back to work and make sure everything was okay and to get a breathing treatment. I had 10 more hours on my shift and didn't want to be this out of breath the whole time. After being given the once over, the nurse on duty told me he thought I was having a subconscious anxiety attack. (Actually, he said a subconscious psychological manifestation of anxiety to be exact. haha!) I was 100% fit as a fiddle and was showing not a single symptom. They couldn't even venture to guess what tests to run since I appeared fine. They sent me on my way with instructions to "chill". I got to work and, of course, had nothing but that on my mind. Things went well for most of my shift until I had about two hours left. A small mistake and oversight on my part snowballed with more mistakes and my freaking out. I completely panicked and blanked on what I was to do next. It wasn't a huge deal as it was just running information for an officer, but the point is, it could have been huge. I felt like I had totally screwed up. I want nothing more than to do well at this job. I beat myself up over it for about 30 minutes and then attempted to take the advice of my trainer, "Shake it off and stomp on it." I'll share that story with you later; it's a goodin'. I still felt rather down as I left work this morning. I love everything about the job so far, it's just that I'm beginning to second guess myself a lot. I'm starting to wonder if I'm really doing well or if I have made a huge and terrible mistake. I know this is probably me just being emotional and menstral. (Hi, to all those who didn't want to know about my menstral cycle! haha!) I have only been in phase training for two weeks and still have two weeks to go in first phase. I have received two compliments from one of the Lieutenants which absolutely made my week. It's the little gestures of, "Good Job" that make you keep going. I completely anticipate an extension on training and that is just fine. I am told that if I take it as a compliment that they want me to succeed, which it is, as opposed to an insult like some in the past have, then I'll go much further. I'm also told that very few people every go all the way through phase without an extension. I know that things will be great and I am gathering more confidence as time rolls on. They're never going to throw me to the wolves if they don't think I'm ready, because those officers are their responsibility too. This weekend is all about studying!! And praying. :) Everyone send up your prayers for me...ask Him for guidance, strength and a raging sense of humor...please.

Love to all...Liz

Friday, December 08, 2006

Is there a locksmith in the house?!

I have regrettedly not blogged about my lockout woes, but surely tonight...it's overdue. About a month ago I was having trouble getting into my front door. Ahem....my only door. So I called my GLORIOUS landlords (I apologize for the dripping sarcasm. Oh wait...no I don't.) They sent over a 'super' which I must say is a severly overdramatized title. 'SUPERman' told me there was nothing wrong with the lock, that my hinges were loose. (If I had a nickle...) After tightening my hinges and redrilling my lock (KEEP YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTER!!) he went on his merry way. A couple weeks later, my problems resurface.

It was a Saturday and I had been doing laundry at my mom's house. Let's first begin by recapping the scene up to the lockout incident. a)I slept at my mom's house the night before so I hadn't been home to shower. b)I was wearing my pajamas which due to it being laundry day consisted of snowflake flannel pants and a bright green "Cuban Soul Revival" t-shirt from Old Navy. c)In an attempt to leave my mothers house my car got stuck in a snow drift thanks to the blizzard that rolled through. After spending an hour and a half digging Dory out of the snow and mud, my previously GOREGOUS jammies were soiled from the feet to the knees. d)Three words- Lack Of Makeup

I drove home, looking and feeling frigid and utterly untouchable. I arrive home, hoping to scurry in the door before any neighbor could see me. I insert the key, wiggled its magical, imaginary combination of jiggles (not Giggles Cait, Jiggles) and nothing. The key does not budge. I yank on the door knob, slam my full body weight into the door itself, and nothing. Lucky for me there just so happens to be yet another 'SUPERman' across the parking lot. I flash him a brilliant no-makeup-haven't-showered-wearing-my-pjs smile and ask him kindly to open my door. He comes over with a huge ass pair of pliers and miraculously is able to open my door. He comes back about 30 minutes later and installs a new deadbolt. He hands me a shiny new key, which I assume means the problem is fixed. WRONG.

Five days later I am still having problems with my door. BUT, with my new work schedule throwing off my sleep schedule, I keep forgetting to call 'SUPERman' back.

This brings us to the present. I got off work at 11 o'clock this evening and drove home. I wanted nothing more than to get home where it was warm so I could curl up in bed and SLEEP. I inserted the key, once again wiggled its magical, imaginary combination of jiggles and...nothing. This time, the stupid key doesn't even PRETEND to want to turn. I'm getting increasingly pissed as I dial my moms phone number to tell her I'll be sleeping on her couch again. Just then, the hunky guy who lives upstairs happened to walk by. He overheard my pitiful plight as he was taking his shhhh...hideous....dog for a pee. He came back and offered to help. He attempted to unlock the door too. If it had opened, I was totally going to say, "Yeah, well, I loosened it for ya." Of course, Hunky was unable to get it either. Instead of leaving me there, Hunky went to get a pair of pliers and his cell phone. He tried to pry the door open and did nothing more but succeed in breaking my key off in the lock. Yeah, thanks Hunky. I coulda done that withoutcha. He was nice enough to call the emergency 'SUPERman' line and attempt to get someone to help me. He even admitted to them that he was a moron and broke my key. After two attempts to call and leaving messages I decide I'll just go to my moms and worry about this in the morning. Hunky offers to let me come up to his place (with shhh...his hideous dog, and his girlfriend) but I opted for mom's. OF COURSE, knowing my luck, as soon as I got all the way to mom's the manager of my apartment complex calls and tells me that no one can come let me in for another hour, minimum. I tell her not to worry, that I'll stay at my mothers. She calls me back 5 minutes later, "Can you be here in 30 minutes?" Well, hell. I bundle up and jaunt back across town only to sit in my car for 20 minutes...in the dark...in the cold. This SUCKED. Hunky came out to check on my every few minutes though, so that was nice. 'SUPERman' arrived and spent a good 30 minutes attempting to extract the broken key before he pulls out the crow bar and begins to dismantle my door. Okay, not dismantle, demolish. He shoves the crow bar in the door jam and then throws his body weight into my door repeatedly until the door frame literally splinters and bursts open. Now, I have a broken lock AND a broken door. Thaaaanks. He spends another 30 minutes or so screwing the splinters back together to fashion some semblance of a door. He installs a new lock and once again...hands me a new key. He promises to come by tomorrow to finish making the door "solid" but I have a feeling it'll end up looking about like my ceiling. In May, that was going to made "solid" too... Riiight.

But here I am, warm and cozy in my house...
with a large piece of furniture shoved in front of my door. Just in case.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

What happens when the kids are let alone...

I stayed the night at my mom's last night after we did some shopping and I didn't feel like driving home. I came home this morning around 9 and immediately regretted my decision to not come home and check on the cats. I should have known...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006


This is from our first snow storm of the winter season. It was literally a BLIZZARD. This photo is looking out my office window towards the road. This is a drift that reached the top of the air conditioner. Given, since there is no TOP, this is one of the broken air conditioners. I live in a great complex.

This is Fuji's, "Oh, shit. I am in SO much trouble." face. I caught him two thirds up the tree before I got this picture.

Hopefully you are able to see the TWO, I repeat, TWO felines in my Christmas tree. Fuji is on top and Kodak is diligently striving for the top...

Last but not least, this one was snapped just a few minutes ago. He had to recoup from his tiresome trec up what surely in his mind was Mt. Everest.

Goooooin' to the chapel...

So I went to a wedding last weekend.
I caught the bouquet.
Run and hide boys, run and hide...