Monday, July 24, 2006

Say What?!

I was sitting here with my friend Sue Ann and we were watching "Inside Edition". Know what the topic was? Re-verginization. I'm not kidding. Women are having surgeries, painful, expensive surgeries, to reinstate their verginal status. Do they not realize that just because it "looks" fixed, it's still USED?! Holy crap. Know what the weirdest part of the whole thing was? They're giving this to their husbands as GIFTS. GIFTS, people! HOLY CRAP! Valentine's Day, Father's Day, Birthdays...ANNIVERSARIES. And um, did they stop to think that the "gift" can ONLY BE USED ONCE! Let's try this, girls. Let's give it to them as a WEDDING GIFT. There's a novel idea.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006



When photographing children, bribery goes a long way. :)

Thursday, July 13, 2006

(Last) Week in Review, Part Deux

Names of babysitting hoodlums may have been altered to protect the innocent.

After making a few minor pit stops Kristen, Reagan, Dory (the car) and I headed out. We were packed to utter capacity and even had to leave some things behind. Driving to Tulsa was a breeze. We talked (and sang) the whole way. It's funny. Kristen and I have known each other for 20 some odd years and we have NEVER roadtripped. Never. Not even once! So this was definately an experience we will not soon forget.

To recap, Kristen and I were going to Tulsa to babysit. That's right. The three WONDERFUL children I watch on Friday nights were supposed to be at a family reunion but everyone thought the kids would all be bored to tears at the scheduled family dinner. Wouldn't we all? So, everyone was arranging for their own babysitters. The family got Kristen and I a hotel room and were paying us to boot. Well, we arrived about 6 hours prior to our rendeavous and were grabbing a bite to eat before heading to the Jenks Aquarium when I received a phone call. "Do you mind too terribly much watching two more kids? They're 3 & 6." Honestly, I didn't care all that much. a)Kristen was there to help me. b)they were the same age as the other kids c)they were going to pay really, really well. We agreed...Okay, I agreed and then filled Kristen in. We went to see the fishies and had a pretty good time. It really was fun but not quite what I was expecting. For the price you paid to get in, it wasn't all that fascinating. There were lots of great things to see, but not much fun for a 2 year old. HINT, HINT to any handsome, available, straight men...this would be a great date spot. BECAUSE, less than a mile from the Aquarium is this idealic little shopping area known as the Riverwalk. It's right on the Arkansas River and has the cutest shops and restaurants. One was called the Melting Pot and was a fondu restaurant!! How cool is that?! There was also great music playing, gorgeous fountains...Great.Date.Spot. :) After some much needed shopping time, a little ice cream from The Marble Slab and some running amok in the fountain, we decided it was time for a swim. The hotel had a great little pool. We swam for a bit and met some really nice people in the process. After our dip, FOOD was needed. We went back to our Riverwalk and ate at this huge mexican restaurant called Los Cabos. Never again. Not sure if it was really the food there, but Kristen and I were both up sick all night. It could have very well been the stress of babysitting, or perhaps we had been invaded by some demon (explanation to follow).

After dinner, we were walking back to our car when we see people flying through the air. NO LIE! Apparently, for a small fee, you could strap yourself into this death trap and learn to do the trapeze. No.Thank.You. Especially not after eating what would soon be coined the "Atomic Burrito". We made it back to our room to change clothes and to catch a quick breather before meeting our charges. We arrived at their room to find a WHOLE.BUNCH.OF.PEOPLE. Thank God, they weren't all staying with us. :) The three "angels" were there, totally behaving. happened. "They" arrived. These little kids walked in...Okay, so one of them, Margot, wasn't so little, but I digress. Mom walks in, dressed like she's "On at 11" and dumps two cases of bottled water and two grocery bags FULL of "healthy snacks". She obviously implies that her daughter is too heafty and she isn't to have any junk food. (By the end of the night, Kristen and I let her have like three pieces of pizza, multiple sugar free wafers and some fruit. She could sure pack it in. But hey, they were "healthy".) Margot's little brother Bo was about all I could handle. The kid SCREAMED the entire time and threw a huge fit if you even looked at him. He refused to get in the swimming pool, requiring a "big kid" to sit out with him. He was awful. After we had enough, "MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!! I WAAAAANNNNT MY MOOOOOOMMMM!" we made our way back to the room. If you think I'm kidding, I'll hurt you. He calmed down a little after the narcotics I slipped him kicked in. TOTALLY KIDDING. We gave him pizza. To kids, it's a drug. He was happy once he had smothered his slice in about 5 packets of parmesan cheese. Looked, revolting. But whatever. After some bouncing on the bed, poopy diapers, falling of the bed and hitting our noggins on the floor (on purpose), watching/screaming through Lilo & Stitch, pinching, the eating of some crayons, etc, etc...things started to wind down a little. I was sitting on the couch with Jillian, aka "Good Kid #2" and her little brother Donnie, aka "Good Kid #3". ("Good Kid #1" is Lauren and she was officially considered a "Big Kid" like Kristen and I by the end of the night because she was the only one Bo would let touch him or even look in his direction.) Donnie, is in LOVE with Reagan. He thinks they're boyfriend and girlfriend and that "She likes me a WHOOOOOOLE lot!" Yes, Donnie. She's 2. She likes you. :) It was freakin' adorable though. He wanted so badly for her to say his name that he would look at her with this expression of "do you speak any English?". "Say...D.O.N.N.I.E". This went on for a good five minutes before Margot started her own little game.
"Helmsley. *silence* Margot, who is this Richard Helmsley guy?"
"I don't know. He's dead."
*crickets chirp*
"I don't know. I saw his name on a headstone in the cemetery."

Kristen and I exchange glances of, "WTF?!"
A few seconds later, she walks up behind "Good Kid #2", touches her shoulder and says...wait for it...waiiiiit for iiiiiit...
"Are you ready to diiiiieee...?" It was the most sinister tone I have ever heard out of a six year old. NOT KIDDING!! PSYCHO SID totally asked this six year old if she was ready to DIE! I made her go sit by herself and then she kept trying to get the other kids to sit on her lap. Thank the Good Lord in Heaven her mother showed up like two mintues later. Both kids acted like everything was GRAND and they had the best time EVER. Even Bo who did nothing but scream and pinch people. Apparently that's his thing. That's how he rolls. Moments later and the "angels" parents got back. We shared with them our demon child story and they thanked us profusely for protecting their children. haha! We got paid, kissed the kiddos g'nite and Holy mackeral it was a night to remember. Shortly after going to sleep, we were awakened in shifts by torential vomiting. Thank's Los Cabos!! MUCHOS GRACIAS!

To be continued...

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Holy Quacamole and other nonsense

Thank you to all who said your prayers for me about the job. They're definately working so far. :) The test went well. It was very detailed and lasted about 3 hours. A lot of the stuff really made me think, "Oh my Lord, can I do this?" but I know that if they don't think I can do it, I won't get hired. Simple as that. In two weeks I'll know whether I passed the written exam and then I will get a scheduled interview. From there I will begin the polygraph, drug screen and the MMPI psychological evaluation.

They have to make sure I'm crazy enough to work there. ;) ha! I'm so totally not kidding.

Those inquiring about photographs. Yes, Caitlin, I will most definately give you copies of the "mini-people" pictures! hahaha!! I SO thought of you when I wrote that. Lena, YAY!!! A) totally syked about the whole IDOL thing. Are you really doing it??! and B) I might be asking you to come up here one night for class so that Rylee can be a model. Maybe. There are some crazy's taking the course with me and I wouldn't want to subject her to them. You'd get lots of free photos...buuuut, I'm thinking I might just call you one of these days and I'll come down there and take some for you. Maybe after my class is done and I know what I'm doing. hahaha! Anywho, class is on Tuesday nights from 6-9 if you ever think you might be able to bring her up. WOOHOO!

When I'm not exhausted, I'll tell you about Katie's 21st birthday dinner. Pretty mild as far as 21st's go...which is how I like it to be quite honest. BUT, I got a happy helping of food on my skirt. Oh yeah, and on my arm, and on my back, and in my hair...that should teach the waiter NOT to carry TEN plates on his arm at ONCE!!! Not lying...Holy Quacamole. Pun totally intended.

Peace out.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


Everyone please keep me in your prayers tonight!! I am taking the monster test for the police department job tomorrow. EEK! I repeat...EEK!

Photography class tonight was muy interesante. The other peeps in the class are characters. The teacher has already told me I am his favorite and "Thank God you're here." haha! One is actually known as the "Crazy Cat Lady". OMG! I have my babysitting charges all lined up to come in next week and model for us tho!! Sweet little muffins! Amanda and all my little pregger and soon to be pregger friends, beware. I am gonna be fully equiped to take maternity AND baby pictures, not to mention toddlers and mini-people.

Seriously, if anyone needs some photos done, I can do Black and White, Wedding, Portrait and soon will be skilled in the art of BABIES! :)

In Deep Doo-Doo

I caught some hardcore flack for not posting a picture of my Squishy, Nash. Word to his motha...I DIDN'T GET TO SEE HIM OVER THE FOURTH! SOMEONE didn't bring him to see his Aunt Liz. So there. :)

But because I'm a bigger person than she is and I have a much kinder heart (JUST KIDDING!) I will oblige and post pictures of my favorite man.

P.S. Tonight is my first Baby n' Toddler photography class!! I am going to recruit you to come down and stay with me one of these weeks so he can be a model in class!!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Week in Review, Part I

After some much needed begging, I got a couple days off work last week. I had to babysit in Jenks on Saturday night and had asked my dear friend Kristen to help me out. In return, I was to "help her out" by going to her father's house for the weekend. Blech. I truly dislike that man, but for my friend I would do anything. Besides, she was doing me a HUGE favor by helping me babysit. I had no idea HOW huge until a couple hours before meeting our charges. More on that later. :)

So the weekend began with a normal day of work. I had beligerant clients and screaming cats...just like any other day. I left immediately following work to drive an hour to OKC where I would pick up Kristen and Reagan. No need having two cars going to all these places, so we decided to carpool. They were in Target when I arrived. I called Kristen and told her I was in the parking lot. "We're in clothes," she said. SURPRISE, SURPRISE! (Luv ya Kris) I walk in the store and spot my friend amidst the clothing. In the cart is the scrumptious Ms. Reagan. I peak my head around a rack of Mossimo jeans and she spies me... "Ohhhh...My Dizzi." I grinned from ear to ear. I had been waiting a month to hear those words. I love this kid like she's my own!! UGH! We continued to shop a while longer in Target and made our way to Old Navy. I think in the span of the week we spent 1/2 our time in Old Navy. :) Don't worry...I didn't spend TOO much money. haha! Here is where we found the green Cuban Soul Revival t-shirt that just screamed Drew's name! (See below for photo.) We bought it for him, of course. On the way out of town, we stopped by Arby's to get a drink and basically had change thrown at us from the girl at the window. Upon leaving the parking lot, we almost got hit by a REALLY EXPENSIVE car. This could be because we were staring at the two 'brothas' standing on the street corner. Only in OKC...

I let Kristen drive home because her hubby felt safer knowing that she was in control. It is their baby in the car of course. Absolutely no hard feelings for that request Brent...none. But let me share with you that I drive at 10 & 2. Your wife on the other hand, drove with her KNEE while talking on her cell phone and filing her nails. Not gonna lie, it was scary. haha!!! Juuuuuust kidding.

Soon after arriving at my house, we decided dinner was in order. MEXICAN FOOD HERE WE COME! I told Kristen how great this little restaurant was and that she wouldn't be disappointed. The food was average, definately not their best work, but it was their beverages that served to disappoint. There was a BUG in Kristen's margarita. a BUG. And no, it wasn't the worm from the tequila. She handed me her glass and sure enough, there he was, striped body and swimmy legs. I called over the waitress and asked her to remove the drink from our bill as it had living creatures in it. She took the glass with a grimace and walked away. I figured she would pour it out and bring us a new bill. Nooooo...apparently good customer service is too much to ask for. She and the MANAGER came over, glass in hand, and asked us to identify.the.bug. No lie. The manager glared at us and said that it was a lemon seed. I smarted off that last time I checked lemon seeds didn't have legs, nor do they swim. Kristen, by this point, was pissed and just wanted to leave. "FINE! I don't care. I'll just pay for it." The manager's response? "Ok." Ass. I will not be going there anytime soon. Okay, so I'll be there for Katie's 21st this week, but I will NOT be drinking the bug infested margaritas.

After dinner, we went to my former roommates house. My old house. It looks and feels SO DIFFERENT, but in a way, it still feels like home. Kristen did Caitlin's nails and then Cait gave Kristen a 1-hour massage. Oh, how I love have skilled friends. :) No matter how selfish that sounds, i'ts fabulous, Dearies. Reagan and I played and talked with Edwin while we waited on the girls. I tried to get her to call Edwin, Ben-Ben which is what his nieces call him. It came out more like BeeBee, but you take what you can get.

By the time we got back to my place, we were all thoroughly exhausted. Kristen slept on the couch and Reagan and I had the floor. It was an interesting experience to sleep with a squirmy child, I'll just say that. She flopped over on me once and woke herself up. "Mamma? Ohhh..My Dizzi." She was instantly back asleep. What a doll. I slept like CRAP tho...holy moley. I had to get up about 800 times to get my cats off of the counter, out of the trash or out of the closet. Finally, I locked them in the office. A few hours later, Kristen is standing over me. "Can I PLEASE let them out of that room? They're crying is driving me CRAZY?!" haha!

That morning we got up and prepared to drive to Jenks for our babysitting gig. That will be a WHOLE nother post because it was just that insane. Good day all, I'm off to church. :)

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Freeze Frame

I know, I know!!! Kristen, I promised you a real blog post and I am failing. I am too pooped to recap this INSANE week. I promise I'll get there. But to hold you over, here are twenty-five (YES, 25!!!) photos to recap the events. Enjoy, and much love to all.

Puddle Jumping.


Lots, and lots of naps.


New Friends.

More friends...

Element of Surprise.

Cuban Soul Revival. A little shout out to DREW!









Golf Catty.





Bad Haircuts. (Sorry, Fletch.)

Binge Drinking.


And finally, what you have all been waiting for...the BIG CHEESE!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Oooouuuurrr a very, very, very fine house...

Okay...I'll stop singing to you now. :)

I wanted to post these pictures for all to see before I deleted them off my computer. I thought I posted them a long time ago. Oops....

Welcome to mi casa...