Wednesday, April 04, 2007

A Game of Ask & Seek

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." -Luke 11:9

I haven’t written in forever. I haven’t much felt like it, but today I was inspired by such simple things that the day just screamed for a blog! The following things made me happy today. Freshly vacuumed carpet, a full tank of gas, sunshine, open windows with curtains billowing in the wind, a great song on the radio that just inspired a dance, Pilates, a hot shower with great smelling shampoo, lunch with a friend, a new book of stamps, clean sheets, hearing that I am missed, finally realizing that changing jobs was the best decision I could have made, the way the moon light cast its light on the water of the lake on the drive home. There are many more things, but I will leave a little to the imagination. Basically, I spent the day searching for things that made me smile. It has been so long since I have stopped to smell the proverbial roses. So here I go. A new day, a new blog. It has been what seems like an eternity since I have allowed myself a moment to sit and reflect. I have used the excuses “I am too tired” and “I have nothing worthwhile to say” a tad too often in the past few months. It’s quite strange how I have actually felt a difference since I haven’t been writing. It’s almost as if a piece of me has been missing. Perhaps it was simply that I wasn’t expressing myself in my usual way, or maybe more so that I haven’t been receiving the feedback of my loyal readers. :) There were a select group of you that I could always count on to read and comment. Sometimes it was to laugh and poke fun, but more often then not it was to offer encouragement and praise. I didn’t realize just how much I relished in that and came to rely on it, until I no longer had it. Isn’t that how life goes? We don’t know what we really need until we find it and we don’t know what we’re missing until it’s already passed us by. I think that perhaps my new found zeal for writing has come with it a new friend. His name is Bryan and he is an honest to goodness journalist. Not the “journalism major” I pretend to be, but the real McCoy. He enjoys what he does and it shows. I do this merely for the fun of it, and perhaps to feed my inner narcissist, but he has made his passion into his career. I know that I don’t want to be a journalist. That much I have learned from the new job! However, it doesn’t stop me from loving the art that only words can make. Ha-ha! Don’t I sound like a big fat nerd? I know, I know…YES!
I mentioned a few of the things that made me happy today, but allow me to share with you something that has made me happy in a way that can barely be expressed. My best friend is pregnant with her second child!! You have no idea how completely giddy this makes me. Her daughter is the most precious being I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Having that precious creature grace my life has been one of the highlights of many, many days. I love her more than I can even begin to express and would lay my life down for hers in a heartbeat, if not faster. You hear how new parents are fearful they won’t have enough love for their second child and I can understand what they must feel. How in the world am I going to love her baby brother or sister as much as I love her? These aren’t even my kids, but my God, I love them like family. Sometimes more. Ha-ha! I know that it’s silly to think our hearts are only big enough for a select few, but that doesn’t stop you from wondering. You want to love them each individually, but equally, when you know that it’s simply not feasible. *sigh* I can’t wait until the little bambino gets here! I am so excited to be “Aunt Dizzi” a second time around. Kristen, have I told you how happy I am for you? Because there simply just aren’t words to describe it. I love you from the bottom of my heart and can only hope and pray that your precious children will one day find someone that they can claim has been their favorite since even before they learned what the word friend meant.
Speaking of love, I have two weddings to attend this summer and I am so excited. One of them is the wedding of my two former roommates. They are dear, dear friends of mine and I couldn’t be more excited for them. I get to photograph their day and look forward to capturing each moment. Knowing Caitlin’s taste, it’s going to be perfection in its simplicity. She has such grace of style and Edwin has been instrumental in making each moment special too. I can’t wait to see what they come up with! The second wedding is in July and I am going just as the photographer. I am friends with one of the bridesmaids but have never met the bride before. It should be a fantastic experience! I look forward to it, but will admit it stresses me out. With Caitlin and Edwin’s wedding, I have no worries. I know them and their families and have a pretty good grasp of what they like and dislike. (Plus, my best friend Drew will be there as my sounding board!) With this other wedding however, I fear that I may not know what I’m getting myself into! Everything will be fine though. I’ve been studying up on different photography techniques and am researching some additional equipment I will be trying to purchase in the near future. I have also scheduled one set of headshots for mid-May (Drew!) which I am extremely excited about and a set of siblings that I will be photographing for a school dance. There is the prospect of another wedding, but it appears they may choose to elope instead. Ha-ha! I have also been asked by a guy at work to take some photographs of his daughters in their adorable flower girl dresses and another co-worker has asked for photos of her precious infant son. I am thrilled! I love taking pictures.
Work has been going great!! There was a stretch of time in there that I was seriously concerned I wasn’t cut out for the job, mostly based on my own insecurities, but I have persevered and am looking down the other side of the mountain. Saturday is my first shift out of training and I look forward to it. It is a hurdle I have been running towards (A little “Phoebe-ish” mind you, but running none-the-less.) for six months now. I work with some pretty damn amazing people and they have been nothing but encouraging and optimistic. From the beginning, they have all been telling me I was going to do just fine and that they had all the confidence in the world in me. I was listening, but until I believed in myself, their words were falling on deaf ears. Now, I can really appreciate all their words of encouragement because I know it is what has gotten me to the point I am at now. Without them I would have given up a long time ago. Thank you guys! You all are simply priceless.
Let’s see…what else have I pent up? Ha-ha! OH! I am planning a surprise 50th birthday party for my mom this June. I want it to be really special so if anyone has any cute ideas for decorations, food…anything…shoot it my way. I want it to be very classy but full of personal style! :) And no worries, mom isn’t all that computer savvy and the chances of her reading my blog are pretty much slim to none. Ha! My brother is coming down for the week to help get everything together and make the day really special for her too, so I am pretty pumped about that. I haven’t seen him in over a year and it has been even longer for Mom.
Well, I think I’m going to bring this one to a close. I think I have filled you in on everything I have held back for the past 6 months. :) Thank you to everyone who was mentioned in thsi blog post. You have all helped me to see that I am blessed beyond measure. I couldn't have asked for more. I hope that this finds everyone doing well. Love to all!

1 comment:

Nicotine Jones said...

Welcome back...