I was just sitting here, thinking about how much I would LOVE to take a swig of good ole NyQuil and zonk out for a couple days. I wanted to change the "Today's Mood" on the side bar and decided to search for the NyQuil slogan. Instead, I found the following. A stand-up routine by Dennis Leary depicting his ever-lovin' feelings for the beloved, heavenly, green syrup. Enjoy.
"I don't do illegal drugs anymore. Now I just do the legal drugs. Tonight I'm on NyQuil and Sudafed. Let me tell you something, folks. Forget about cocaine and heroine. All you need is NyQuil and Sudafed. I'm telling you right now, I took the NyQuil five years ago. I just came out of the coma tonight before the fucking show! Claus Vanbulo was standing over my bed going, "Denis, get up! There's something the matter with Sunny! Hurry up!" I love NyQuil. Man, I love it! I love it. I love it. I love it. It's the best thing shit ever invented. Isn't it, huh? I love the name alone. NyQuil - Capitol N, small Y, big fucking Q! I love that fucking Q, don't you!? What a great advertising idea! Put a huge fucking Q on the box. They'll get high and stare at it. "The Q is talking to me! The Q is talking to me!"
I love NyQuil, man. Because NyQuil has never changed, man. It's never changed. All the other medicines are doing that inner-child thing. "we know that there's a small child inside of you, so now we have grape and cherry and orange flavor." Not NyQuil! They still have the original green death fucking flavor! You know why!? Because it doesn't matter what it tastes like! It's so strong you go, "*wheeze* Hey this stuff really tastes like.." Bang! Yer in the coma already! "What happened?" "He said tastes like and he went right into the coma, it was unbelievable!" We have reached the point where the over the counter drugs are actually stronger than anything you can buy on the street. It says on the back of the NyQuil box, on the back of the box it says, "May cause drowsiness." It should say, "Don't make any fucking plans! Kiss your family and friends goodbye. Say hello to Klaus!" NyQuil, NyQuil, NyQuil, we love you! You giant fucking Q!
NyQuil is the secret for all you twelve step recovery program people. Yes, all you AA people, NyQuil is the key! It's the thirteenth fucking step! You can drink it! It's over the counter! Drink as much as you want. "Are you drunk?" "No! I have a cold. Same cold I've had for two years. I just can't seem to shake it. I'm high as a kite and my teeth are green. Merry fucking Christmas!"
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
Tagged again...
1: Black and White or Color; how do you prefer your movies? Generally color because it is what i'm used to, but I'm not opposed to black and white. Have you seen the movie Sin City? It was done comic book style black and white with only minute color details. Kind of interesting.
2: What is the one single subject that bores you to near-death?
Politics. I HATE getting into heated debates with people who never really know what they're talking about. I usually don't either, hense the fact that it bores me to tears.
3: MP3s, CDs, Tapes or Records: MP3's and CD's due to their superior quality and portability.
4: You are handed one first class trip plane ticket to anywhere in the world and ten million dollars cash. All of this is yours provided that you leave and not tell anyone where you are going ... Ever. This includes family, friends, everyone. Would you take the money and ticket and run?
Never. Money doesn't buy happiness and I would never leave my family like that. Family and friends are what bring me joy and who make me what I am today. Without them, even with all the money in the world, I am nothing.
5: Seriously, what do you consider the world's most pressing issue now?
Ignorance. People judge because they are ignorant. People judge based on religion (or lack thereof), sex, nationality, etc...and I think it is rediculous. If people would take two seconds out of their narrow minded lives, they might learn something and find a valuable relationship in the process.
6: How would you rectify the world's most pressing issue?
I would have to agree with previous tagee's and say, Education.
7: You are given the chance to go back and change one thing in your life; what would that be?
I wouldn't. I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason. If I were to go back and change one minute detail in my life, it could throw everything into a completely different direction. I value each experience, both good and bad.
8: You are given the chance to go back and change one event in world history, what would that be?
As much as I would love to say a LOT of things here, I'm afraid that I would have to go back to answer 7. I can't change things, and if I did, what would that solve? Each bad situation led to a greater outcome, a larger achievement and a step towards the greater good.
9: A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole' Opry—Which do you choose?
Not a huge fan of either, but I guess I'd say the opera. I would much rather see a play or musical, perhaps an orchestral piece.
10: What is the one great unsolved crime of all time you'd like to solve?
Where is Jimmy Hoffa buried?
11: One famous author can come to dinner with you. Who would that be, and what would you serve for the meal?
Honestly, I would have to say Shel Silverstein. As a child, he inspired me to love reading and poetry. Beyond all other authors, I feel children's authors are particulartly vital. Without them, breaking ground with children, there would be very little hope of them every learning to love the art of reading. I think we would have something fun, perhaps playful, yet sophisticated. Hmm...Shrimp Fetuccini Alfredo (so we could slurp the noodles) with a light green salad and crusty bread. I think we would have pino grigio (spelling?) and of course, ice cream sundaes for dessert.
12: You discover that John Lennon was right, that there is no hell below us, and above us there is only sky—what's the first immoral thing you might do to celebrate this fact?
Why celebrate with immorality? I would continue to be the good person that I strive to be every day. I think that's a silly question that implies we would all behave badly if their weren't repercussions. I for one, would go against the grain and try to prove that there was a hell below us and that above us, was infinite love, grace and forgiveness. Besides, John Lennon is merely a man.
I tag:
1. Nicotine Jones
2. Incredimom
3. The Martini Project
2: What is the one single subject that bores you to near-death?
Politics. I HATE getting into heated debates with people who never really know what they're talking about. I usually don't either, hense the fact that it bores me to tears.
3: MP3s, CDs, Tapes or Records: MP3's and CD's due to their superior quality and portability.
4: You are handed one first class trip plane ticket to anywhere in the world and ten million dollars cash. All of this is yours provided that you leave and not tell anyone where you are going ... Ever. This includes family, friends, everyone. Would you take the money and ticket and run?
Never. Money doesn't buy happiness and I would never leave my family like that. Family and friends are what bring me joy and who make me what I am today. Without them, even with all the money in the world, I am nothing.
5: Seriously, what do you consider the world's most pressing issue now?
Ignorance. People judge because they are ignorant. People judge based on religion (or lack thereof), sex, nationality, etc...and I think it is rediculous. If people would take two seconds out of their narrow minded lives, they might learn something and find a valuable relationship in the process.
6: How would you rectify the world's most pressing issue?
I would have to agree with previous tagee's and say, Education.
7: You are given the chance to go back and change one thing in your life; what would that be?
I wouldn't. I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason. If I were to go back and change one minute detail in my life, it could throw everything into a completely different direction. I value each experience, both good and bad.
8: You are given the chance to go back and change one event in world history, what would that be?
As much as I would love to say a LOT of things here, I'm afraid that I would have to go back to answer 7. I can't change things, and if I did, what would that solve? Each bad situation led to a greater outcome, a larger achievement and a step towards the greater good.
9: A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole' Opry—Which do you choose?
Not a huge fan of either, but I guess I'd say the opera. I would much rather see a play or musical, perhaps an orchestral piece.
10: What is the one great unsolved crime of all time you'd like to solve?
Where is Jimmy Hoffa buried?
11: One famous author can come to dinner with you. Who would that be, and what would you serve for the meal?
Honestly, I would have to say Shel Silverstein. As a child, he inspired me to love reading and poetry. Beyond all other authors, I feel children's authors are particulartly vital. Without them, breaking ground with children, there would be very little hope of them every learning to love the art of reading. I think we would have something fun, perhaps playful, yet sophisticated. Hmm...Shrimp Fetuccini Alfredo (so we could slurp the noodles) with a light green salad and crusty bread. I think we would have pino grigio (spelling?) and of course, ice cream sundaes for dessert.
12: You discover that John Lennon was right, that there is no hell below us, and above us there is only sky—what's the first immoral thing you might do to celebrate this fact?
Why celebrate with immorality? I would continue to be the good person that I strive to be every day. I think that's a silly question that implies we would all behave badly if their weren't repercussions. I for one, would go against the grain and try to prove that there was a hell below us and that above us, was infinite love, grace and forgiveness. Besides, John Lennon is merely a man.
I tag:
1. Nicotine Jones
2. Incredimom
3. The Martini Project
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Musical Chairs
I have been tagged! I love this. I'm such a nerd. :)
"List seven songs you are into right now, no matter what the genre. It does not matter whether they have words, or what decade they're from. The only requirement is that they must be songs you’re really enjoying right now.
Post these instructions on your blog along with your seven song choices. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to."
OK...in no particular order...
1. I Will Remember You- Sarah McLachlan
2. Amber- 311
3. Home- Michael Buble
4. Stand by Me- The Drifters
5. Broken Road- Rascall Flatts
6. Take it to the Limit- Eagles
7. Baby, I Love your Way- Big Mountain
You're turn:
1. Drew q
2. Lil Red
3. Katie-Ladie
"List seven songs you are into right now, no matter what the genre. It does not matter whether they have words, or what decade they're from. The only requirement is that they must be songs you’re really enjoying right now.
Post these instructions on your blog along with your seven song choices. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to."
OK...in no particular order...
1. I Will Remember You- Sarah McLachlan
2. Amber- 311
3. Home- Michael Buble
4. Stand by Me- The Drifters
5. Broken Road- Rascall Flatts
6. Take it to the Limit- Eagles
7. Baby, I Love your Way- Big Mountain
You're turn:
1. Drew q
2. Lil Red
3. Katie-Ladie
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
