Overload!

I am on an emotional overload this evening. I mean...for real. I feel this uber-necessary need to watch an intensely masculine movie just so I won't feel quite so damn GIRLIE! I spent this weekend with my best friend and her family, which is always a hoot. However, this particular weekend we went to a baby shower where two of the women were pregnant and there were approximately 50-bajillion small children. I LOVE kids but even I was a little overwhelmed. They were adorable though and there were more than a few times that my ovaries hurt. :) I want me some squishy babies! (That sounded kinda gross, eh? Mmmm...baby...the other white meat.) THEN! Post babyrama my friend and her hubby invited some friends over. There were three two year olds and a 8 month old. OMG! I was the only non-coupled individual in the house and was surrounded by four reasons I HATE being single. I was suddenly very aware of my singleness. BUT THAT'S OKAY! No need to feel sorry for myself, because I also know that my best friends husband FARTS ON HER MUFFINS and there are plenty of little marriage jewels I can live without. :) Love you BRENT! I also just sat here and watched an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and bawled like a flippin' baby. Not just a little teary mind you, I'm talkin' rollin'-down-the-cheeks-gotta-get-a-tissue tears. After that, I decided to check my email and realized I hadn't blogged in quite some time. Mid-blog, my uncle calls to let me know that my great aunt is dying and more than likely won't make it through the night. He also asked me if I was coming home for Thanksgiving. I wasn't sad originally because I got a great new job and was so unbelievably thankful. But now, it's a little harder when I stop and think of the things I'm missing. I miss going to my grandparents house for thanksgiving dinner in Watonga where we would watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and hunting specials on television. Ever since my granddad passed away, it hasn't been the same. It seems that everyone makes less effort to go home. I miss holiday's at my Illinois families house too. Holidays there were always such a big deal. House FULL of family, lots of great food, lots of laughs and usually a game of poker after dinner where Grandpa would give me all his pocket change. :) That's where I was last year at this time. Holidays are just different. This year, I will be in training for my job until 7am Thanksgiving morning and then I'll go home to my little apartment and sleep so I can be back to work at 11pm. I am NOT complaining. I am extravagantly greatful for this job and for all the opportunities it will bring. Chances are I wouldn't have been able to go home if I had worked at the former job either. It's just been an emotionally wearing weekend and it makes me long even more for family. I'm going to find a movie in my stash with Jean Claude or Rambo in it now. I need testosterone. NO CHICK FLICKS TONIGHT!