Friday, September 23, 2005
I read a blog today that I found via a friends blog. It was amazing. I read words that were written by a guy who is my age and has the same feelings regarding love, life and destiny as I do. It was amazing to know that there is someone out there who understands how I think, even if he doesn't know it. His words gave me hope that there are guys out there who want the marriage, the family and the life...not just the dating whirlwind. It also made me think of the things I want from life. Overview: Love. This weekend when I was in El Reno with Kristen and Reagan, we went shoe shopping. As we were walking through the store, I carried Reagan. She fell asleep in my arms. I tell you what guys, there is no feeling in the world like that. A baby asleep in your arms is the single most sobering and refreshing feeling a person could feel. You instantly feel protective, safe, lucky and whole. You feel in love. Now don't get me wrong, I was in love with this baby long before she fell asleep. But as I walked through that store, I was more aware of everything around me as well as within me. Instead of thinking, "SHOES!!", I was thinking, "My God. This is what life is all about." The song 'I could not ask for more' by Edwin McCain came on the overhead speakers and it fit so unbelievably well. I rocked her. I touched her hair. She slept so innocently, so peacfully. I knew at that moment that there is nothing in my life I want more than to be a mom. I have the best mom a girl could ask for. I have a best friend who is an amazing mother. I want to be in that club. I want to rock my daughter to sleep knowing that she is safe. I want her to have a daddy that loves her as much as mine has loved me. I want her to have a big brother to protect her from all things scary, and to pick on her enough so she knows he cares. I want all this and more. Someday I'll have babylove. But for now, I will gush over Reagan, kiss her little fingers and pray each day that she turns out just like her mommy.