Corner of Memory Lane and Sappy Street

Well here I sit. It's now after 4 o'clock and I have just now gotten home from work. I have homework to attend to and I am as usual, procrastinating. On top of that, I have an agenda to write for a staff meeting tonight. Once that is over, I am going to take pictures of my friend Jacey. She is going to be my next guinea pig and in return she is going to send some of the pictures to her father and grandmother for their birthdays. Jacey asked me the other day, "What do you get an 80 something year old woman?" "Pictures of her babies," I reply. What better to give, than a reminder of their family. A constant reminder of the good choices they made in life, or at least the good outcome to a not-so-good choice. Am I right?
Speaking of photos, I was looking at some old ones last night. Photos of friends from years past and I suddenly felt sad and happy all at the same time. It's so weird how that is possible. I was so sad looking at the faces of people I knew I probably would never see again. One in particular, who knows all my secrets. He knows, or should I say knew, all there was to know about me. Almost every memory I have of high school is wrapped up in him. Most of them will atleast circle back to him in a "Seven Degrees of..." sort of way. It didn't help that I also heard 'our song' on the radio this afternoon. Funny how I still call that our song, when not too long after we broke up, I overheard him sing it to another girl. Yeah, he was a catch. But even while my heart was beginning to feel a little empty, it suddenly filled up again. I was thinking of the past when a memory would suddenly remind me of a story from the present. For example, I was thinking of my best friend Drew and how we used to see each other every day. It made me long for the past when suddenly, like a ton of bricks, I'm hit with the memory of him playing Sawyers Creek Putt-Putt with a cell phone to his ear. I smiled from hear to ear and was instantly delighted. After my stroll down memory lane, I went to Wal-Mart to pick up the prints I had taken of Lynette (www.ekwisdomgallery.blogspot.com). The sky opened up about the time I made it to the double doors. Lightening flashed and thunder boomed. It was marvelous. I haven't heard it storm in what feels like forever. Okay, so it was like 4th of July weekend, but it feels like forever. There's nothing like a good storm to bring out the deep thinker in me. Almost immediately, I was in an introspective, what-if, maybe, shouldacouldawoulda mood. I gathered my purchases and headed out into the rain. While everyone else ran to their cars, shrieking with disgust, I walked slowly, taking in every warm drop. It was wonderful. The girls from work and I were planning on going swimming but that idea was washed away along with the squelching heat and sunny skies. Instead, we watched Hitch and ate pizza. It was really nice to just relax and hang with the girls. As much as I adore these girls, I really wish I had more male friends here. I had mostly guy friends in Illinois so it has been somewhat strange for me to be around girls ALL them time. I am so thankful to have Matt and Edwin as my testosterone outlets. Watching this movie was a reminder of how lonely I feel most of the time. Not in the literal sense. I have people around me all the time and I adore my roommates and coworkers, but I feel like I am missing out on something that most people have. I don't mean to sound jealous at all, just...hopeful. I guess that's the word. Naw. It really doesn't do it justice either. Living with two couples doesn't help the situation much, but I wouldn't trade them for anything. No one in this house has ever made me feel like I was an outsider, I merely do that to myself. I know people always say that good things come to those who wait and it'll find me when I stop looking for it, but I think that's a load of crap. I don't think there will ever be a day when I'm not looking for it. I don't actively pursue it, but I'm always looking. ;) Aw hell, now I'm all misty and I have to get stuff done around here. Guess I just needed to vent for a bit. Later all, thanks for listenin'.