May 8, 2005

Currently PlayingWithout ConditionBy Ginny OwensIf You Want Me Tosee related
If You Want Me To-Ginny Owens
The pathway is broken And the signs are unclear And I dont know the reason why you brought me here But just because You love me the way that You do I will go through the valley If You want me to
Now I'm not who I was When I took my first step And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet So if all of these trials bring me closer to You I will go through the fire If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen When you lead me through a world that's not my home But You never said it would be easy You only said I'd never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me And I'm all by myself And I can't hear You answer my cries for help I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through And I will go through the valley If You want me to


Currently WatchingHidalgo (Widescreen Edition)see relatedToday was an okay day. It started out grand with me buying myself my fav coffee, a Mocha BigTrain from Aspen. Mmm...tasty! Then, I arrived at work to find that the lovely Shana had brought me BREAKFAST! My hero! The day went well despite the loads of work it felt like kept piling up. More than likely it was merely my imagination. I did get a little tiffed today, however. I found out that TWO friends of mine (in seperate states) were either driving drunk (one got taken to jail) or allowing someone else to drive them while drinking and driving. Am I the only genius who finds this to be fucking retarded behavior??? I mean really. How old are we? Crap. I was so pissed off mostly because they were willing to blatantly put their lives in danger as well as the lives of the friends they had in their vehicles. I'm sorry, but jail is least you should have been worried about. How about not killing your friends or innocent drivers. Damn. I am so disappointed. Seriously.I came home, cleaned the house some and packed A LOT! I took loads of stuff to my mom's place for storage. I'm tired of moving already and we don't even get to officially do it until Memorial Day Weekend. While packing, I decided to clean out some drawers of an old dresser. I came across TONS of old notes from everyone I could ever imagine. Most of them were from my ex boyfriend. "I'm so sorry I hurt you", "I love you so much, please forgive me", I didn't mean to cheat on you, it just happened", "I'm a worthless excuse for a man, please take me back". Blah, blah, blah. It made me so sad to read those...I threw them all away. There were some good things in there too tho. Poems he wrote me, stuff from old friends, pictures I hadn't seen in forever. My friend James obituary was in there along with the story from the Quincy paper about the memorial tree that was planted at school in his memory. He was hit by a car during a band trip...the day before his 18th birthday. (Yet another reason the drunk driving enfuriates me...although the accident was ruled just that, "an accident". No one knows for sure if alcohol was involved.) I found letters from my Grandma and from my Mom. Needless to say, I bawled majority of the afternoon. My roommates are all out of town, so I took the opportunity to wallow freely. I think it was just a huge rush of emotion that I wasn't expecting. I miss Quincy at times, but I can finally call Stillwater home now. Most of all, I miss the people. It's not that I miss my ex really, he was pretty much a waste of oxygen. But the times he wasn't being a loser, he was rather wonderful. I miss being cared about like that. Well, until I found out he was cheating on me and ran off to get married that is. Ha! I sure can pick em. You know, I'm not really sure what it is that I miss...maybe it's just being needed. Who knows...I guess I just needed a good cry. Now I'll go back to being my normal, "I'm fine" self. Tomorrow is Mom's Day, so I'm going to church with mom and then we're going to lunch and shopping for the afternoon. Good times. Let's see if we can go a day without driving each other batty. haha!Here's to a great tomorrow...God Bless, Love, Liz