My life, the soap opera.
This has been an "interesting" weekend. My best friend from high school came down to visit. I LOVE Suzanne and everytime we see each other, it's just like old times. But everytime we see each other, it is more and more evident just how different we are. She's the wild child, I'm the computer nerd. She's the extrovert, I'm the introvert. She's the beauty, I'm the beast. Haha! Needless to say, we are the epitomy of "the odd couple". We can sure laugh together though and we have seen each other through more hard times that our young lives should have seen. We were there for each other through the ups and downs of high school, horrible breakups and odd ex-boyfriends, the divorce of my parents, and the untimely death of a dear friend. We used to sit in her basement until the wee hours of the morning, just talking, crying and connecting as only best friends could. We'd have candles lit and soft music...haha! Sounds like the makings of a hot date, but it was just one of our "counseling sessions". I wish we had had enough time while she was here to just sit and talk like we used to, but it didn't seem to work out that way. We have grown in such different ways since we graduated high school. I know that we will always be friends, its just so hard to see it change so much.
Our first event of the night was a halloween party at my co-worker/friend Jacey's house. It was hilarious! Suzanne went as a Greek Godess and I as a furry cat. I even brought "cat litter cake" as my hostess gift. Mmm...poo. Everyone was dressed to the nine and it was a lot of fun. I'll post pics once I have them all downloaded onto DoryJr. (FYI- My new laptop is DoryJr. I know, I'm a NERD.) We then made our way to Mike's college bar where we met up with Matt and some of his buddies. They were a hoot! I had a great time hanging out with them. I am really not a bar fan, but with this crowd, it was quite all right. I had a few too many drinks and may have said a little more than I intended, on a couple occasions. Towards closing time, I was definately ready to go as I felt more and more out of place. I stood there against the fence outside of Murphy's and looked around at my fellow patrons. I was most definately out of my element. I watched as Suzanne had every guy in the bar watching her every move and offering to buy her drinks. I sat at a table, nursing my beer, watching as things went on around me. Things that made me sad, happy, angry, giddy and insanely jealous. You learn a lot in a bar. A lot about yourself and a lot about other people. For example, the sad young lady who danced on top of a table while men put money down her pants. Could she really have any self dignity? Then again, there I sat, alone and feeling quite jealous of the attention she was receiving. Not that I wanted THAT attention, just some would have been welcomed. And NOT from my roommates drunk friend. That was creepy. ;)
As groggy as I was this morning, I still pulled my tail out of bed at 8:30 to start getting ready for church. Believe me, after the thoughts that ran through my head the night before, I needed a little inspiration and perhaps divine intervention. I hate being jealous of my friends. I hate those feelings of utter inadequacy that are more than likely all in my head. And what was today's sermon? Jealousy. Not kidding. Not kidding at all. I took his words to heart, and I'm working on it. I need to learn to be happy with myself the way I am and also to not speak words of destruction, but words of life. I was not supportive to Suzanne last night, I was jealous of her. If this isn't the makings of the next great daytime drama, I don't know what is...