June 11, 2005

I'm going to be philisophical here for a moment and I invite you all to do the same. Tell me...if you could go back to being 18 years old, and knowing what you know now, could do one thing over again...what would it be and why? Would it change who you are now?I'll go first.If I could be 18 again, I would step back and realize that it was my life all along. I did not HAVE to work so hard to make my parents happy. They would have loved me anyway. I would have stopped trying so hard to save my friends from theirselves and allowed them to make their own mistakes. They would have loved me anyway. I would have tried not to worried so much. I had no idea how much worrying I would do in the future. I should have taken more time to enjoy just being young. I wouldn't have taken time off before going to college. I wouldn't have been so scared of moving back to Oklahoma. Look where I am now. I have made some of the best, most unexpected friends a person could ever ask for. Thanks to them, I'm learning how to grow up without "growing up". I'm learning to be me and be okay with that. On second thought...no I wouldn't change any of those things. It is the trying to impress my parents, the worrying, the overcaring for my friends, the courage to move, the fear to move, the anxiety, the break from school that has made me...me. I have become who I am because each of these steps has taught me a little more about myself and who I want to be. I know now the kind of person I want to become, and even though I may stumble along my path, I know I am on the right one. And those friends I mentioned, they are right there with me. They are there because I made those mistakes, and inspite of them. Your turn.
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